People How You Doing There's A New Day Dawning. For The Earth Mother It's A Brand New Morning.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Let’s finish this Coogs. Sugar Bowl vs. Michigan. They scare easy.


--Tara/Maggie Siff is really crushing it this season in her scenes on Sons of Anarchy. This was a great episode for her even if you’ve grown tired of her and Gemma fighting over Jax’s soul as it were.
Tara – “I’m smarter than you, Gemma.” Word.
Everything is set up for a helluva final hour though I think I may be disappointed because all this Clay has to die talk makes it feel like Clay isn’t going to die. Like I wrote about last week, having Opie not put a solid kill shot in Clay from that short a distance is just weak. Hell Jax can weave in and out of traffic on his bike while shooting a driver dead. And that’s
what I hated about this penultimate episode. Tig. Tig who was super pissed at Clay suddenly blames himself and thinks the best course of action is to take blind revenge on the Niners like that?! I just thought Tig was smarter especially since the Donna fiasco and especially since the SAMRCO is kind of involved with some heavyweights as it is and just had to settle things with RPGs not so long ago. Obviously his actions were made worse ten fold since he killed Leroy’s girl. I just wasn’t buying it and then Jax tells Tara for the 12th time that they’re definitely out, definitely out, but first let me shoot a gun in lots of traffic and kill someone right after I caused a car accident and stole a motorcycle chasing Opie.
Best part? Happy – “He’s gotta die. Like, a lot.”
I don’t know what’s going to happen next week, but something is rotten in Denmark with this sting. Romeo not having information about Otto flipping is suspect. And I’m scared that as kick ass as Tara has been this season that the Niners, and not the cartel, may have something in store for her.

--Very strong closing scene, but all in all I think it’s been a general waste of a first half of this season of The Walking Idiots Dead.
Sophia was as boring as a walker as her mom is as boring of a character.
WTF was Dale hiding the guns for? Like most everyone he’s become an annoyance.
When they eventually leave the farm I hope Maggie goes with them. She’s one of the few characters the writers seem to have a good grip on and the only female character that doesn’t come across as annoying and/or eternally whiny.
Still waiting to be persuaded to not root for the zombies.

--Real-time World War II twitter feed? I’m in. Tip of the hat to @bzygo's tweet that has me following something actually somewhat productive.

--OMFG!!! What a s-h-o-c-k on Dexter this week. Who could have possibly foreseen something as far out of left field as that?! Game. Changer. At least we have the LaGuerta cover-up and Quinn’s downward spiral to keep us entertained. Oh and can’t forget the creepy lab intern. Seriously you’re Miami Metro and it takes an intern to speak up and let these supposed detectives know they can trace an IP address like that’s some kind of technological breakthrough in 2011?! Just a terrible season that I imagine would be made much worse if I wasn’t cooking during it.

--Damn. Just when I was starting to like Angela Darmody.

--Gotta love this GQ list of 25 Least Influential People Alive. It’s a slideshow so obviously I’m not clicking through, but any list that contains Gwyneth Paltrow, Pitbull, Bobby Bonilla, and Paul Reiser on it is a list worthy of respect…just not 24 click-throughs.

--Kind of a filler episode of Homeland this week with my personal highlight being the end when Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows” started playing. Cohen goes great with this show.

--I “watched” The Tree of Life. I had no idea I was supposed to be on a hallucinogen for the first half of it. It was like Planet Earth and Universe combined for something that would have been terrific as part of a laser light show. As it was it was a good movie. Or it wasn’t. How the f should I know? None of it made any sense.


--Maura Tierney to The Office is enough to make me watch again. Just kidding.

--Thank the baseball gods that the Tal Smith/Ed Wade era is over. “We Fired Ed Wade!” has to be the front-runner for the Astros slogan next season. It’s shorter than “It Could Be Worse…No Really, Give Us A Second And We’ll Tell You How…Wait, Where Are You Going? I've Got One...Umm...”

--Flight of the Conchords movie?! Finally a stage big enough for a battle between Rhymenocerus and Hiphopapotamus.


--I’ve made maybe one dessert the last five years and that’s a Busche de Noel, those chocolate log cake thingies. I’m just not big on sweets, but a homemade Butterfinger recipe that calls for the use of Cheez-Its?! Oh hell yeah, you best believe I’ll be leaving Butterfingers and milk out for Santa this year.

--If you own the combination of Rivers to Gates, well it’s been a rough season. However, they did hook up for a TD last week (YOUR ONLY ONE PHILIP!?!?). It was the 46th time they’ve done that to break the record for QB to TE TD combination. The pair whose mark they surpassed? Yep, Carr to Joppru…I mean Bledsoe to Coates. If, like me, your first thought was Manning to Clark, they’re at 44 and counting?

--Beanie Wells went nuts with 228 rushing yards last week. It was the first time a Cardinal has led the entire league in rushing for a week since 2002. Here’s $10, tell me who that Cardinal was. ‘Twas none other than Thomas Jones.

--Louis C.K. back to Parks for a bit? Poor guy can’t catch a break in his love life no matter what show he’s on.

--Yao and Elvira both announcing plans to distribute their own lines of wine this week. Coincidence? Well, yeah.

--I hope this rumor about HBO making Storm of Swords two seasons and filming both seasons back-to-back is true. Can’t wait until Thrones is back in April.
EW getting me all hot with this breakdown of how the Thrones DVD set is shaping up.


--Dude seriously watched Julie & Julia 365 times over the course of a year. At least he recognizes the silliness/stupidity/absurdity of it.

--I can’t recommend hitting Phoenicia downtown enough. Once you buy your Armenian string cheese and pitas sit your butt down at the MKT Bar for some bites and a solid beer/wine list. Queso without Rotel sounds sacrilegious, but it’s damn good.

--If you cheat on your boyfriend tattoo artist with his best friend and then are dumb enough to ask him for a tat on your back you deserve whatever is coming. Even a tat of a pile of poo.

--In a scam that seems ripped from a Sunny episode a trio in (I hope you’re sitting down) Florida made about a million dollars off of people scared of the new federal regulations regarding septic tanks. For just $199 they offered Septic Remedy treatment so that their septic tanks would pass the inspection. If the rubes didn’t want that they could get specially designed toilet paper in some cases more than 70 years worth. Eventually the group was busted, but I have some of their products and for a limited time only I’ll offer the toilet paper at wholesale cost so you can pass the inspections once the EPA comes knocking on the door next year when the regulations take effect.

--RIP Patrice O’Neal

Questions, comments or if you need to borrow some good behaving kids to go see The Muppets…is good behaving kids an oxymoron…

What's the Time?

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--That was one helluva weekend of sports even with the Dynamo falling to the Galaxy. And who knew David Beckham played for LA? As good as the football was, and it was good, nothing was better than Dan Henderson and Shogun Rua waging war for five rounds. Incredible. Simply incredible. The only thing possibly better last weekend? “Aw fu** it.” Classic.

--I guess I have to see how it plays out a little, but I’m not in love with the idea of Brody being a bad guy after all. More than just the swerve, it’s that now apparently Brody wants out of the terrorist plot. It just seems like once you’re in on something like that, you’re all in. It just didn’t come off well to me, but the major problem I had with this episode was Walker’s wife. Warning her husband like that was beyond weak. Now the kids have a terrorist dad whose picture is splashed everywhere, ya happy? I didn’t care for that or for the inept FBI search. Shoot to kill? Ummm, why? Don’t you want Walker alive to interrogate? Oh no, he’s armed. Aren’t you wearing vests? And of course the shooting happens in a mosque. I just thought it was a misstep episode that I hope is just a blip. And I really hope that we’re done with he’s a good guy, no he’s a bad guy, no he’s a good guy twists.

--I liked the way Rick found out about Lori and Shane proving not everyone on The Walking Dead is a big dummy. I’m ready for Shane and Andrea to go ahead and leave. Andrea who after a couple of lessons can hit moving targets in the head. But this is what infuriates me the most the last couple of episodes. Didn’t Otis and Shane run out of ammo on the medical supply run to the high school? So where exactly did they find a cache of weapons and ammo so that now everybody can shoot until their trigger finger bleeds?! Wouldn’t bullets be, oh I don’t know, kind of vital in a post-apocalyptic world? Or is the bullet-making barn another building on Hershel’s farm that our group isn’t curious about?
Please get off that f’n shooting gallery/farm already.

--Elisabeth Shue to CSI? I’m not in, but I’m as close to DVR’ing a CSI as I’ve ever been. If Lanie from Dream A Little Dream turned down my marriage proposal then Chris Parker from Adventures in Babysitting was my back-up, mostly because she could sing the blues.


--DeSean Jackson, master of the humble statement, “People don’t understand the light I bring and shine on my teammates.”

--Please start flexing Monday night games. The first week of December fans should not be subjected to San Diego/Jacksonville and St. Louis/Seattle.

--I might not like the way we got to some of these conflicts on Sons of Anarchy this season, but that was one intense hour. Of course how could it not be since we knew that Opie knew Clay blasted his father with a shotgun. The rest of the episode was okay and Kurt Sutter/Otto has really crushed his scenes all season, but it felt like filler until we got to Opie vs. Clay. And we got there all right. Jax’s chasing of Opie was lame, but Opie looked like a GD renegade superhero with his hair flying in the wind as powered down revenge lane. Looooved the way Opie kicked the door open on Clay to get the upper hand just like Clay did to Piney at the cabin. Pop, pop is Clay gonna drop? Was that blood? Was he wearing a vest? Dead? Wounded? I can’t imagine he’s dead. I can imagine he’s badly wounded and the Irish who aren’t so fond of Jax pull out of this cartel meeting since Clay can’t be there. Jax loses his payday, Clay may or may not lose his place in the club since Bobby is now in jail, but Potter doesn’t get to bust the meet. That or the meet continues on and sh** gets crazy. I hope it’s the latter.
Amusing that Walking Dead’s Andrea can fire off kill shots to the heads of moving targets while Opie can’t put a lethal bullet into a sitting target seven feet away?

--Seriously, how awesome are the Justified teasers during Sons the last couple of weeks?

--Congratulations to Vince Young for being the first quarterback this season to throw three interceptions yet still have his team walk off the field a winner. Teams were 0-24 up to that point.

--Obviously I’m a Donald Glover mark so I’m liking Childish Gambino’s “Camp.” The story on “That Power” is a big highlight. But his “Weirdo” Comedy Central special exceeded my expectations. Little Hitlers – “There’s just something about racism when it’s tiny.” His very compelling AIDS vs. Babies debate. Crackerdick. Home Depot – Where kids’ dreams go to die. Good stuff.

--Really cool little 6-minute mini-documentary on “The Umbrella Man” on the scene the day JFK was assassinated. It's been at least 10 years since I've read a JFK assassination book and that's just too long.

--Add Alison Brie to this trip with Aziz Ansari, David Chang, and James Murphy and you have my dream vacation.

--The Soup is moving to Wednesdays at the end of this month?

--April 2012 cannot get here soon enough.

Season 2 - In Production

--I’m going to be spending a lot of time at the downtown Phoenicia.

--Would have taken me awhile to guess Pitt as the school that now has the current longest streak of an alum scoring a TD on an NFL weekend. Pitt’s down it 13 weeks straight. Miami’s streak ended at a ridiculous 149 weeks.

--Way too much information from a managing editor of Canada’s Huffington Post? I don’t know her title. Point is she experimented with vodka soaked tampons because, I assume, she has A LOT of free time…and is an alcoholic. Your move local news reporters.

--Chris Lilley’s Angry Boys cannot get here soon enough. A little introduction to all the characters here. You want to click it.

--Terrific food-centric interview with Ron Swanson/Nick Offerman from LA Weekly.
SI: You learned not to eat everything on your plate, but I understand Chris Pratt, who plays Andy, just goes all-in.
NO: Chris is a man of many immense talents, none of them greater than his ability to consume comestibles. His digestive system is a gaping maw. And he has such an enthusiasm about eating. Chris can take a bowl containing 10 servings of pasta and, with two fistfuls, make it disappear. He can do that six takes in a row. I've also seen him eat, and this is not an exaggeration, eight slabs of ribs in about three hours -- with absolute glee. He's an amazing human being. Truly a specimen worth studying.

--It took a while, but thankfully in time for Christmas Three Amigos on Blu Ray is coming out.
El Guapo: "Well you told me I hve a plethora. And I would just like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

I know the lyrics to "My Little Buttercup." Why don't I have more friends?

--“More victims come forward in ‘Fix A Flat’ butt injection case.” – That can’t be good.
I’ll be very disappointed if Fix A Flat doesn’t come up with a good ad campaign out of this.

--Yeah, I wish there was NBA play to watch Wednesday night as I cook all evening, but Rockets/Knicks Game 6 on Fox Sports will do just fine, actually better.

Questions, comments or if every Thanksgiving you’re reminded how when you were in school you only got off Thursday and Friday and nowadays, when kids are clearly dumber, they get the entire week off…smdh…yeah, that’s right mdh…

Cause nobody can do it like Mix Master can. Come on now.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Matt Leinart, huh? I have no idea what to expect from him and I don’t see how anyone could since he hasn’t played in forever. Here’s hoping he’s average because average and the Texans are in good enough shape to still get a home playoff game. A Texans home playoff game AND a College Gameday at Robertson in the same football season? There is a God…and he obviously hates Houston sports teams so get ready for something catastrophic soon.

--Just think how many games the Astros can lose in the American League!!!

--Sons was kind of a letdown this week with the exception of Potter/Big Otto’s talk and the final scene. If Opie gets killed while Clay skates I’m going to be pissed for a lot of reasons beyond the show losing a great character like Opie. I’m having a hard time believing Jax could look at his mother’s face and not smack Clay at least one time on principle alone. At least Tig took offense while the rest of the club turned the other way.
I like Drea de Matteo and it’s nice to see her, but don’t we have enough sh** going on already?
The Joosh storyline still doesn’t do anything for me.
Poor Lem. Poor, poor Lem. A grenade and a mine, “You gotta be sh***** me” is right.
Ryan Gosling was great in Lars and the Real Girl, but Tig and the Real Girl would’ve owned Oscar night.

--I’ve yet to really be letdown by Homeland. Seriously if next season they just want to send Brody and Carrie around the nation getting drunk and committing vigilante justice then I’m all for it. Damian Lewis and Claire Danes are fantastic when they share the screen. Their heart-to-heart was as intensely calm (if that makes sense) a scene I can remember lately that didn’t involve Gustavo Fring. I’m glad we finally got back to the explanation about Brody’s finger movements that spurred Saul to give Carrie some rope in her surveillance on Brody. Brody sure knows how to deliver a “fu** you.”
No real Saul is a terrorist red herrings this week so that’s good.
As for the swerve with Walker being alive and the terrorist (or one of), works for me.

--Juan Manuel Marquez looked terrific against Manny Pacquiao. Who expected that kind of performance after finding out JMM stopped drinking his own urine?! Just imagine if he had continued that scientificlly proven training method. I had Marquez winning, but I guess could be talked into seeing it Manny’s way by a point, but no more than that. Here’s hoping there will be a fourth. And gotta love Freddie Roach talking to the Coogs Friday night.
Couple of other Vegas-related thoughts. The Hilton’s football theater is outstanding for NFL Sundays. Faye Reagan is hot even with her clothes on. Video greyhound racing, that’s a thing. When you turn $7 into $150 on video blackjack don’t walk away, run.

--Andrea from The Walking Dead is really moving up the Most Annoying Character on TV chart. I’m going to have to start reading the comics because the TV show is losing me a little.

--Sarah Silverman and Jeff Goldblum on The League did not disappoint one single bit. Best Thanksgiving dinner table scene ever. Sorbet. Shakespeare. Taco continuing to eat. Sorbet. Then Goldblum plowing Silverman. Fantastic.
Heather - “Remember? Here’s the church, here’s the steeple, open up the doors and eat all the people.”

--“For what it’s worth I think you would make an incredible brunette. Ron Swanson.” Not the usual awesome sauce Parks and Recreation, but that final scene with Leslie and Ben in the world’s smallest park was excellent.
Loved these lines from last week:
Ben – “I didn’t really do a Model UN in high school…oh wait, I SUPER did!”
Leslie – “What are you going to do without tides Peru?!”

--Kamala had a leg amputated?! Scariest one-legged man on the planet. I always wanted to go as Kamala for Halloween, but then there’s that whole people might take it the wrong way and if I didn’t have a Friday there to explain my costume I’d be screwed because as Kamala I’d be mute.


--I think you know what state we’re talking about if we’re talking about a high school math teacher taking money to improve student’s grades. Jeff Spires was the teacher and he took up to $40 to change some quiz grades. To his credit he didn’t take $200 to change a “B” to an “A” so he wasn’t totally crooked. Florida Public Schools – Not Totally Crooked. You can have that one for free Florida.

--Solid and sweet, if not always hilarious, Community this week. Dean Pelton was outstanding and you had superstars like Luis Guzman, Jeff Garlin, and Awesome from Chuck.
Obviously I’m not a happy camper about the news that Community will be replaced mid-season. Community does have a cult audience and ANY show would have and will get slaughtered in the ratings opposite The Big Bang Theory. But I trust NBC knows what it’s doing because this is the network that will now give us an hour each week of Whitney and that Chelsea Handler show. What I’m saying is I hope NBC is getting used to looking up at Univision in the ratings.

--The only reason I won’t crush NBC for this Munsters remake is because it has a Pushing Daisies writer behind it.

--Unsurprising Headline of the Week: Sour Candy is Almost as Bad for Your Teeth as Battery Acid.

--Stephen Colbert with the best advice regarding kids and their use of vodka-soaked tampons or butt chugging.
"A very important advisory to my teenage viewers: Do not do this. It is very dangerous. And for God's sake, if you soak your tampons in tequila, don't salt the rim." Truer words.

--Drudge: 1 in 4 Women Take Medicine for Mental Disorder.
I won’t rest until it’s 4 in 4.

--Tilapia ceviche? C’mon Top Chef between that and store bought flour tortilla enchiladas, well let’s just say less of Chicago and more of Texas would have been a good thing. Full recap up on Ape Donkey.

--In a story I’m sure you’ve heard by now a certain Tina Marie Arie and Howard Windham were arrested at a Montgomery County Whataburger earlier this week. Howard couldn’t handle his downer drugs and was passed out at the restaurant with a bunch of pills in his pockets. Tina had some pills on her as well, which was unfortunate for them because the cops showed up. So off to jail they go, but along the way the cop looks in the rearview mirror and doesn’t see Tina’s head. He pulls over to see what’s up and she says she was just resting…with Howard’s di** in her mouth. Is that frowned upon? Now mind you they both had handcuffs on behind their backs so how they were able to unbutton and/or unzip his jeans is one for Unsolved Mysteries. A spokesman wasn’t sure whether the jeans were buttonfly or not. Love that a police spokesman addressed that.

--I liked what Boardwalk is setting up the for the final few episodes as even Angela’s scenes didn’t annoy the hell out of me this week because I found the little counter-culture stuff interesting. I’m not sure why Jimmy who has never underestimated Nucky is now underestimating him and being dismissive when Eli brings it up. Seemed a little out of character, but he was out of character from the point Nucky “gave up.” I don’t know why Jimmy hasn’t paid Horvitz the $5,000 yet either. Surely he has it.
When Arnold Rothstein speaks, people listen. The manure line while talking to Meyer and Lucky was gold as was his “do nothing” talk with the old-timers.
Can’t wait for the inevitable 3,000 Tommy guns to come into play. I assume it’ll be the reverse of Sons where our guys sell guns to the IRA.

--I know it’s my fault because I continue to watch (for the most part), but Showtime renewed Weeds for some reason. They really need to announce that this is it. Not that I think it can be salvaged at this point.
In very related news, Dexter has been renewed for a couple of more seasons.

--Hunter Pence and Playmate Shannon James. I think the trade is agreeing with him.


--“You look like Keri Russell after she ruined Felicity.”
“You look like John McEnroe’s sister.”
“You look like a Quaalude dealer.”
Happy Endings is the highlight of Wednesday nights.

--First Community and now The Joy Behar Show! Apparently her show was on for two years. If you say so.

Questions, comments or if you’d like to once again thank Oregon for a lovely weekend a week ago...

Girls with curls and big long locks. And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Works out great that the Texans open date coincides with the Dynamo and Galaxy going for the MLS Cup. Great win from Dom and company without Brad Davis for the bulk of the game against Kansas City, excuse me, Sporting Kansas City. That and a 31-3 home loss to the Dolphins couldn’t have made for a very pleasant Sunday in KC.
By the way you want to take five minutes out of your day and watch Brian Cushing on Sound FX.

--High-five Glenn! The rest of The Walking Dead was boring as hell. Trying to salvage that well from zombie contamination was just dumb. If a walker falls into it, it’s thereby property of said walker. This is known.

--Oh no Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy are off the Oscars?! Whatever shall we do?! I guess the answer is Brian Grazer and Billy Crystal. Whew, close one. The Oscars almost sucked.

--Another strong Homeland although I did groan twice. First when Saul uttered the word “mole” and second when his lie detector test spiked when he denied slipping the razor to the terrorist. However, when you mix in terrorist-on-terrorist violence and Brody’s lie detector test I’m good with a couple of groans. I hope they either give us some legitimate confirmation that Saul is the mole or they stop with the red herrings. The show doesn’t need an overabundance of those and they’re getting close to the edge with them.

How powerful was Brody’s roll call at Walker’s service? It’s always a stacked category, but I’ll be pissed if Damian Lewis doesn’t get an Emmy nomination.

--If you missed the first round of Alfredo Angulo and James Kirkland go watch it now. I’ll wait.
F’n awesome, right? I hope Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez entertain half as much.

--I haven’t really liked a lot of the ways we got to where we got, but there’s no denying that was one intense episode of Sons this week. I still don’t like Clay’s almost cartoonish villainous ways especially his conversation with Gemma in the clubhouse. This Clay just isn’t one we’ve seen the last few seasons. I know he wasn’t a choir boy, but he wasn’t a homicidal maniac either and one second he loves Gemma so much to leave the club and the next he’s talking down to and beating on her? Regardless as I’ve been saying the guy has to die and has to die this season. Or I guess I could see a scenario where Jax wants to kill Clay after the meeting with the Irish, but the feds move in and arrest Clay before Jax gets his kill shot or face pounding. I’m not exactly sure how Jax is going to want Clay to die. You figured there was about a 95% chance Tara was going to live through the hit although I would’ve made it 100% if I had known they were using the Home Alone robbers as the cartel’s hit men. All they had to do was keep it clean and not mess up her face. So maybe a gunshot as soon as you grab her? Why are you trying to kidnap her? Oh, nevermind we had to crush her hand. However, it led to a really strong performance from Maggie Siff when she told Jax what she was now resigned to in life. Credit to the writers for making Tara a hateable character for long stretches of the first couple of seasons only to make her the one character not named Opie who I just want to get the hell out of Charming immediately.
Writing of Opie, helluva scene with Jax. Opie now feels betrayed and soon he gets to find out his father was gunned down. Not a good season for the Op-ster. How the hell he was able to not beat the sh** out of Jax after Jax told him to keep his wife and dad close to him is beyond me.
SAMCRO sure doesn’t seem to mind the cops talking to Joosh all the time now. They don’t wonder what the hell that’s all about, why it keeps happening to just Joosh, especially with Joosh’s weird behavior lately?!
Fantastically horrific shot of Clay’s ring-laden fist coming down on Gemma’s face. Just one big part of a crazy ass episode. How the hell are there four more to go?

Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you "no takebacks"?


--Boardwalk had a whole lot of Margaret and a whole lot of Irish brogue so it wasn’t my favorite episode despite the meeting of the gangster babies. Obviously the ending with the attempted shot on Nucky was good stuff, but who in the audience expected Nucky to actually receive a life-threatening injury much less a fatal one? The best part was Jimmy’s facial reaction when he overheard that Nucky was going to be okay.
For having Irish in me I sure can’t understand shillelagh when Irish people are speaking on my television whether it be Sons or Boardwalk. Those conversations are more fun if you just insert phrases from Lucky Charms commercials. Anyway at least Margaret and Owen got the kissing of the blarney stone out of the way.
I hope Van Alden was simply trying to gain trust with Esther by laying his cards on the table because he’s going to help Nucky. If he’s going against Nucky then I’m much less interested in his character.

--Hell on Wheels didn’t grab me nearly as much as I was hoping it would. It’s just so paint-by-numbers Western without any of what made Deadwood memorable and I don’t just mean the poetic cursing. Thomas Durant is no Al Swearengen and I’m not even sure it’s Colm Meaney’s fault? His speeches sucked. His scheming simplistic especially when it’s spelled out for you. I may watch the second episode or this may just take up space on the DVR while I wait to hear if it got any better.

--I’m sure I probably missed something worthwhile, but I couldn’t even make it to Weekend Update on SNL when Charlie Day hosted last weekend.

--The “We’re No. 1” column on The AV Club is always a good read. This time around they look at “Waiting for the Sun” from The Doors. Good stuff, but next time we get M.C. Hammer’s “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em”. Out-standing!

--We didn’t have to wait for the new season before Starz went ahead and granted Spartacus another season. I guess that’s promising.

--What kind of guy works and dates a chick and when they eventually break up shows their boss nude texts she sent him? Apparently Terry Pena of the Galena Park police department.

--Let’s go over the good parts of last week’s Dexter. Ummmm, hmmm, oh the "Ice Truck Killer" sighting was nice. It was a nice reminder of this great show I used to watch called Dexter. Remember that show?

--Obviously I’m not much of a steakhouse guy despite the fact I’m going to a Mario Batali steakhouse on Saturday. Anyway, I’ve never been to Morton’s. Perhaps you have. I’m sure it’s just the way most restaurants are in Florida, but in this particular sexual assault suit one former employee claims a chef would stick a stalk of asparagus in his pants to create a veggie bulge because oh man, that’s so funny. Of course this asparagus would eventually find its way onto a customer’s plate.

--Claire from Lost on Once Upon a Time is about right. Maybe she’ll make another cute little squirrel baby.

Quite the looker, that one is...

--As 30 for 30s go the Auburn/Alabama one is well down my list. It was more of a summary of the last two years with far too heavy dose of Paul Finebaum and the tree poisoner. The old history I thought was interesting and I never knew they took a 40-year break from playing each other, but there wasn’t nearly enough of that.

--Eight games into the season and the Niners have a five-game lead in the NFC West.

--Memoir title of the year goes to R. Kelly for Soula Coaster: The Diary of Me.

--RIP Smokin’ Joe.


--RIP Heavy D.

Questions, comments or if you expected to get away from Penn State talk when you turned to NFL Network…

Some like it hot, others like it cold. But we all want to hold the remote control.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--If I experience nothing else in my lifetime I must spend five minutes in the room temperature room. Good stuff from Community this week with daddy issues for Pierce and Jeff and Troy's big decision. Any trepidation I had about John Goodman's character is gone and I'm pretty sure they'll nail this Troy A/C arc over the course of the season. Just as I'm sure when we finally get an episode with Jeff's dad it will have been worth the wait.

Troy - "'Sup girl, how ya livin'?"

Abed - "Pew."

--It was a sappy and sweet Parks and Recreation and no comedy does sappy and sweet better than Parks. The Leslie and Ben moment at the end was nice, but this episode belonged to Entertainment 720 (pours one out) and April and Andy. All great things must come to an end especially if you're overhead was that of E-720's. Nevertheless a party with four VIP sections, a drumline, car bows and Roy Hibbert is a party to end on. Entertainment720.com even posted a goodbye. Where on chapter closes another opens for Tom.

April and Andy taking care of his bucket list = awesome sauce. Thankfully NBC put up a bunch of Andy and April road trip videos. All of their action star, grilled cheese making, $1,000 in singles activities up to the Grand Canyon was great. But when they stand their on the edge looking out and Andy asks, "Where are all the faces? You know the presidents. " I almost had a heart attack. Fantastic line with the obligatory perfect April reaction face.

--Weird that The League and Sunny both went the social networking route this week. Taco’s Myface was pretty strong. I'd be a rich man if I had a dollar for every time Raffi has said, "We're going to need some carpet, a bone saw and condoms" in his lifetime.
Pete to Andre - “Couple of questions: Why was that on your vanity? Second, why do you have a vanity at all? Third, why do you have to call it a ‘vanity?’”

--I’m not sure which trailer I’m less interested in watching between 21 Jump Street and American Reunion.

--I haven’t watched an SNL from beginning to end since I can’t remember. Pretty sure Charlie Day won’t let me down this weekend.

--NY Post with a “Where Are They Now” on former Top Chef winners. The only one I didn’t know what they were up to was Hosea. Apparently he’s got himself a farm and runs a full-service catering company using his farm’s products. Nice.

I did a full recap on Ape Donkey, but I liked this qualifying episode more than I thought I would. Or maybe I just liked Tom cutting someone ten minutes into the competition.

--Listen Kate Hudson you best bacdafucup from Muse. The National Enquirer doesn’t lie and if everyone not named Matt in Muse have dubbed you “Yoko” then you need to go make another bad rom-com and leave the music to the muse-icians.

Better days.

--Seriously UAB a night kickoff at the same time as LSU and Alabama in Tuscaloosa?

--Drew Bledsoe. Winemaker? If you see Doubleback wines anywhere let me know.

--Fred Savage AND Brent Musberger on Happy Endings this week. “You are looking live…” – never gets old…sort of…okay, it’s old. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go play checkers with some Puerto Ricans.

--New Jersey looks like it’s going to make sports wagering legal in the near future. That’s good and gives you a reason to head to the Garden State. Of course there’s that whole machete attacks in fried chicken restaurants, so that may balance out the allure some.

--We have a date for the return of Spartacus (RIP Andy Whitfield). January 27th it's time for vengeance.

--Floyd and Manny are going to fight in May? Yeah, I’m not going to hold my breath. At least I know I’ll see Manny next weekend when I’m in the holy land of Vegas.

--You may have seen this in The Big Lead where they printed the opening paragraph from The Smoking Gun. It’s really the only way to tell the tale.

"Complaining that a 95-year-old neighbor has been harassing him, a 75-year-old Florida man called police Monday to report that the nonagenarian twice pulled a pocket knife on him--but that the older man did not have the strength or dexterity to actually open the weapon."

Never change Florida, never change.

--I’ve never had Dippin’ Dots and I guess I’ll just have to wait patiently for the future to know how ice cream will taste.

--Like this little Top 5 of Houston’s Hidden Treasures from Eating Our Words. Particularly Bohemeo and Café TH or Theim Hung or whatever you want to call the place that makes fantastic vegan curry. And I’m beyond happy (overjoyed? ecstatic?) that Phoenicia is opening its long-awaited downtown location next week.

--A Very Gaga Thanksgiving? Seriously ABC? Seriously?

Questions, comments or if you want a tab of baby aspirin…

Take a sip - you can do it - you get right to it. We had a case in the place and we went right through it.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I’m just going to assume that most Texans regular season ticket holders didn’t want to be subjected to either the sun and/or the Jaguars offense so it was a bunch of first-timers that got a wave started last Sunday. Snipers should be allowed to take out anyone they see trying to start a wave. How has this never come up in the GOP debates?!

--Shane, Shane, Shane. You do what you gotta do when it comes to zombies, but damn.

--Sons of Anarchy is getting crazier, but that doesn’t mean it’s getting better. How dumb is Gemma to think Clay won’t touch Tara after she knows he already gunned down Piney with zero remorse? How dumb is Clay to insult Tara to Jax’s face while at the same time plotting her murder and how dumb is he to think Gemma is not going to suspect him should something happen to Tara or her grandkids? How dumb is Chibs to not question Joosh and the missing drugs? How dumb is Jax to think he’s just going to have a little sit down with the cartel and the IRA and everything will be so peachy that he’ll be allowed to leave? Through three and a half seasons I feel like we’ve gotten to know these characters well enough to know when they’re acting half under their IQ level and an occasional dip down there is fine, but they’ve been there throughout most of the season. Clay is such an over-the-top villain now and more and more people are realizing it that I think he absolutely has to be taken out or at the very least removed as President. I like Ron Perlman just as much as the next guy, but how much more can they squeeze out of the Clay/Jax lemon.
Oh you two crazy kids.

--Seems like this should have happened before, but Sunday was the first time two rookie quarterbacks started the same game and threw for over 200 yards without tossing a pick. Those rookies being Cam Newton and Christian Ponder.

--Not the most scintillating Boardwalk Empire this week, but that’s going to happen when you have Van Alden’s storyline taking up a lot of time. Then time gets devoted to Irish Furio who I like as a character, but not as Margaret’s secret lover. Nucky’s trial shenanigans don’t do much for me because I can’t see him actually going to jail unless it’s one of those short terms where he goes in jail in the finale and next season’s premiere he gets out. Obviously I liked the gangster babies outgrowing their diapers or at least getting the ball rolling in that direction. If you’re a double-crossing spy who is double-crossing a maniacal, blood-thirsty butcher wouldn’t you be a little more careful about being seen with the guy who should be your sworn enemy? It’s not like Philly and Atlantic City are on opposite sides of the coast and there’s no chance of anyone spotting you fraternizing with your supposed enemy.
Dominic Chianese killed in his scenes with Jimmy. And c’mon Jimmy’s mom, no more kissing on the lips in front of company.

--Homeland continues to knock it out of the park. Although Estes was a damn fool to give Brody that face-to-face with the prisoner and really no one is going to tell Saul or Carrie about that until Carrie found it on her own? I’m loving Saul and Carrie’s confrontations with Carrie going all emotionally expressive and Saul’s measured, but boiling underneath the surface responses. Great stuff.
I like that I have no idea what the hell is going on as far as if Brody has really been turned and that for five minutes I even questioned Saul. C’mon Homeland you know I’m going to spend 30 minutes hurting my head to think why show that little carpet scene in his office. The who is a spy, who isn’t may be only the second biggest mystery on the show. The major question mark is why in the hell Morena Baccarin cut her damn hair back to her V style?! Why? Why? Why?

Obviously this pictures doesn't show how awesome her hair is long, but I love me some Firefly.

--As much of a fan I was of Chris Herren and those Fresno State teams I'm embarrassed to say I still haven't watched the 30 for 30 this week.

--Genetically engineered mosquitoes that will pass on a lethal gene to their offspring killing them before they become adult mosquitoes? Make it happen. Seriously, what the fu** are you waiting for?

--Burt Reynolds to guest star on Archer. Thank you.

--Nice to have old Chuck back. Nice to see Craig Kilborn in the premiere as well although he contributed basically zero. I wish Craigers had done “Five Questions” with Sara.

--Hell on Wheels starts this Sunday and seeing as how stacked Sunday is it’ll probably be next Saturday before I get around to it.

--Rob Gronkowski’s younger brother, Glenn, going as Rob's infamous picture for Halloween is awesome in every way.


--Of course that pales in comparison to two of the Zierlein boys aka Walter and Jesse.

The one on the right is the one who knocks.

--When you even jokingly threaten to take Halloween candy from a 10-year-old kid you better be ready for the consequences. In South Carolina the consequences were getting a 9mm stuck in your face. No big deal though since the gun didn’t have a loaded clip, but make no mistake he had the loaded clip on him so by the time you bite into that first Snickers he’d make sure it was your last. And if his gun misfired his brother, also 10, was strapped (do people still say that?) too.

--Who the hell is eating all this candy corn?

--Didn’t like to see Brother Sam get shot, but I find Dexter searching for that shooter much more compelling than anything with the Doomsday (yawn) Killer or Killers. Dexter has pretty much been background noise while I’m cooking so I haven’t been paying close attention, but the Fight Club scenario with Travis makes sense. Although Colin Hanks is the worst actor to try and pull it off.

--Jonathan – “I’m good at platonic. It’s my default sexual setting…after nervous.” Not the best Bored to Death this week, but it had furries and Oliver Platt so it wasn’t bad by any stretch. Ray and Olympia Dukakis did nothing for me. I would’ve rather just watched Ray at the grocery store longer.

--Eva Longoria and Matt Barnes?! Maybe, but the point is I'm starting to miss basketball.

--Community has missed more times than hit for me this season, but this week’s episode is titled “Advanced Gay.” Promising.

--Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel no more?

--A 47-year-old Chicago man died after trying to remove his pacemaker. Who knew you could die from cutting your chest open to remove your pacemaker? More you know.

--It’s just f’n weird to see Gus as the mirror, mirror on the wall in Once Upon A Time.


Questions, comments or if you’re in over your head…