Friday, December 07, 2012

I like the way that they walk. And it's chill to hear them talk.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Ron Swanson, you ol’ softie. Bringing out Duke Silver like that was syrupy sweet awesome sauce. I would’ve cried if I didn’t already cry myself out watching the In Memoriam segment at the woodworking awards.
April – “It’s because of your man strength! Man Perkins!” April and Ann with the hottest fight scene on NBC that didn’t involve Gillian Jacobs and Alison Brie.
Andy – “I’m allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis I throw up.”

--Same ol’, same ol’ from Sons of Anarchy. Couple of montages, someone lies, Gemma is a biyatch, Jax’s master plan works, someone else lies, Gemma is a biyatch, Jax wins, Otto bites off his tongue. Well I guess that last one can only happen once. I was with Tig whenever Jax “saved” him and Tig pointed out that Pope could’ve killed him on the spot and Jax smugly responded, “But he didn’t.” Just like the other hospital could’ve sent a welcome basket to its incoming doctor once she actually moved, but they didn’t because Gemma had to see it in order to put her next plan into motion. I guess it was her who turned Tara in at the end though maybe something else could happened. Don’t know and my care is waning.
It’s just not that compelling to me anymore.

--Arian has the same average number of yards, 1.8, after contact as Chris Johnson? Uh, that’s not good.

--Frankie Muniz is old enough for a stroke?!

--I don’t understand the logic of framing a news story and asking the question should a newspaper run this photo and then show said photo on the television. On the off chance you haven’t seen said photo... 

--Walking Dead is fine and all and we doomsday preppers know it’s not a matter of if, but when the zombie apocalypse will occur, but there are non-believers. A non-believer might even be your girlfriend who thinks the premise for The Walking Dead is ridiculous. Obviously she’s wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should shoot her. Do you hear me Jared Gurman?! This girl might be the nicest girl in the world what with coming to pick him up so he wouldn’t drink and drive, going back to her house, then going back to his place because his texts worried her and for what? So she could get shot in the back with a rifle while walking up the stairs to go to sleep. She’s in serious, but stable condition and her idiot boyfriend was charged with attempted second degree murder. Over the likelihood of a zombie apocalypse.

--The New Yorker with a look at a book from Jon Krampner on the history of peanut butter, even the crappy smooth kind that only the weirdos eat. We have Joseph Rosefield to thank for crunchy after he founded Skippy because Peter Pan tried to sell him short.
The best-selling peanut butter for the last three decades? Jif.

--The 10 Best Oral Histories of 2012 as compiled by Atlantic Wire. Vanity Fair ran an oral history of Freaks and Geeks in its Judd Apatow-helmed issue. Good stuff on the great cast.

--Not surprisingly, and deservedly so, MTV’s The Inbetweeners was cancelled.

--Wait, Bilbo is Tim from The Office?  I don't have high hopes for the movie, but it was cool watching Colbert geek out over his Hobbit guests all week.

--Because Anthony Bourdain must be on television as much as Gordon Ramsay we’re getting The Taste from ABC in January. It’s a, yawn, culinary competition show with Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Ludo Lefebvre and Brian Malarkey. You may have seen one or two or all of them on Top Chef at some point. I mean who can forget Padma and Nigella getting breakfast in bed? As for The Taste. Yeah, it’ll be forgotten by March.

--You’re supposed to do something with dill pickles and you think to fry them and put them on a burger?! You want to be Top Chef with that, CJ? I seem to recall him being pretty good his first time around, but he was pretty bad this time around. I’m glad they sent two people home the last two weeks. They just start out with so many nowadays it’s impossible to get a read on anyone until more than half the season is over. Having the winner of the still stupid Last Chance Kitchen get to rejoin the show in the finals is not right.
By the way, Archer Farms dill pickle cashews - yes.

--Step 1: Rob Bank.
Step 2: Brag About Robbery on YouTube.
Step 3: Act Surprised When the Cops Knock on the Door.
19-year-old Hannah Sabata is our criminal mastermind out of Nebraska. I’m not sure how a 19-year-old divorcee who lives with her parents, smoked pot on the video and titled said video “Chick Bank Robber” could actually rob a bank unless bank robbing must be way easier than I thought.

--Walgreens. Food truck tour. Well, duh.

--Seriously the wreath game is where it’s at.

--Tell me Katt Williams and Lindsay Lohan don’t belong together.

--I love this picture. Apparently New Zealand is trying to enhance the chances of rescue dogs being adopted so they’re teaching them how to drive. Designated driver dogs, win-win for New Zealand.

--Sometimes the headline tells the whole story and you don’t need anything else. For example, “Florida Man Found Driving Around With Traffic Sign Embedded In His Skull.” Yep, sounds about right.

Questions, comments or if you can't stop listening to the Divine Fits or The Divine Fits...

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