Go upstate and get your head together. Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--It happens every year which means I get to bitch about it every year! Yeah, Emmys, you’re right. Parks and Rec and Louie aren’t among the six Outstanding Comedy Series. Just GTFO. I liked Veep, but c’mon. I never watch The Big Bang Theory, but it’s on CBS so c’mon. Modern Family has done nothing but get worse. 30 Rock and Girls are fine with me. Parks and Louie should obviously have joined them. It’ll never happen, but so should Archer and The League. Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series has five overall nominees. Four of the five come from Parks, Louie, and Community. SMDH and I hate SMDH. At least Louie and Amy Poehler got love for Outstanding Actor/Actress in a Comedy Series.

Luther and Idris Elba some love in Outstanding Miniseries categories, but I imagine Hatfields & McCoys will dominate those and deservedly so. Although American Horror Story and its 17 nominations in Outstanding Miniseries will do some damage. I thought it sucked, but I could be wrong. I’m not wrong in thinking it’s not a miniseries.  

Any Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy nomination from Modern Family not named Phil Dunphy is wrong. It got four in that category. Yes, four for Modern Family and Ron Swanson gets no eggs or bacon. Just wrong.

Archer not one of even the five Outstanding Animated Programs is a joke.

Apparently Betty White has a reality show as she was nominated for Outstanding Reality Show Host for Betty White’s Off Their Rockers. Such a dumb category.

Nothing for Justified really except for Jeremy Davies as Dickie for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series. Although I’ll be rooting for Mark Margolis as Tio Salamanca in Breaking Bad. Applause for Tio’s nomination, Jon Hamm’s 30 Rock appearance in blackface, and Community’s “Remedial Chaos Theory” in the writing category.

Outstanding Emmy Related Tweet goes to @CW_network: “Emmy nomination day! Or as we call it, Thursday.”

--Terrific Louie this week, but when you hear that it’s going to be a two-parter about Louie going girlfriend-seeking and Parker Posey is involved what else would you expect? Parker Posey is just the coolest. First though a typical uninspired, passionless Louie romp with Maria Bamford or just what you’d imagine sex with Louie and Maria Bamford to be like. That leads to a keeper scene where Louie drops his girls off at school and drifts classroom to classroom fantasizing about each teacher with the same little ditty playing for each daydream. Finally a trip to a bookstore yields a more mature and improved version of Zooey Deschanel in Parker Posey. Begin with flirt. Proceed to ask out as awkwardly as possible. Close with a fistpump. Classic, if not unrealistic.

Anyone else get excited when at the beginning you saw the episode was written not only by Louis CK, but Pamela Adlon? You knew it was going to be a good ride right then. That and we opened with Louie’s daughters.

So which channel is that reality show they were watching on because I like reality shows with stabbings.

--Aaron Paul was on The Price is Right?! Look at Jay Leno being good for something.

--Ikea now serves its own beer because of course Ikea now serves its own beer. It’s a lager that’s only sold in Britain. Grocery stores with beer, furniture stores with beer, next hopefully malls and then man can shop anywhere.

--Emo Wilfred. LOLZ. Rob Riggle was pretty strong too with his “parenting” and advice to Ryan, “Don’t ever apologize for being late. It makes you look poor.”

--I haven’t watched Burn Notice in a couple of seasons because seen one season seen them all, but Patton Oswalt and Kima from The Wire joining the show might bring me back in.

--It seems like I shouldn’t have to tell people this and yet…Look ladies, if someone approaches you in a Wal-Mart simply ignore and proceed to check-out. You’re already taking chances being in a Wal-Mart. And if someone tells you they’re with America’s Funniest Home Videos and to get your shopping items for free all you have to do is let that person kiss your feet, well GTFO as quickly as possible. Don’t, I repeat, don’t let him suck on one of your big toes. The woman screamed while the guy ran, but not before saying something that will be seared into that young woman’s brain forever, “it tasted so good, though.”

--The Wire has come in all shapes and sizes so it was inevitable it would also come in Lego form. Avon Blocksdale.  Hat tip to Jarrett for sending it my way.

--I’ve never really been on board the sipping tequila train because I like to get the pain with over as quickly as possible. The anejo from Izkali Tequila makes me a sipping believer. Had no idea it would pair so well with a chocolate cake. We’ll have the Houstonians who started Izkali on Southbound next week along with Bobby Matos from Ciao Bello. I definitely need to hit Ciao Bello for more of that corn pansoti and mezzalunas with salted cod. Holy crap that was the best lunch we’ve had in a while.

                                  

--Well if Pete Rose says his TLC reality show about him and his Playmate fiancée 40 years his junior isn’t going to be “classless” then I believe him.

--If I could go to church and be assured of getting a seat next to Jenna’s mom from Awkward I’d be there every week.

--How does a cop not laugh his ass off and just turn around and walk out of the adult movie theater when he goes to arrest a guy for having his pants down and it turns out the guy is 72-year-old Fred Willard? Holy crap, did not expect to wake up Thursday morning and see that headline.

Buck Laughlin from Best in Show is a Top 10 comedic performance of all-time, right?

--If you like super extended fight scenes between samurais then 13 Assassins is for you.  If you like the movie equivalent of ambien then Martha Marcy May Marlene is for you.  John Hawkes, the nice guy from Girls and the other Olsen sister and still it did nothing for me.

--I’m an Instagram fiend and I make no apologies for that so you know I’m down with Stickygram.com. For about $14 including shipping (and a promo code) you get nine of your Instagrams on magnets. Best $14 I’ve ever spent on refrigerator magnets.

--If Skynet’s beginning doesn’t come from this robot who never loses at paper, rock, scissors then I don’t know where it’s going to begin.

Questions, comments or if you’ve been listening to the new Nas and still haven’t felt the need to skip a track…