More Adidas sneakers that a plumber got pliers. Got more suites that Jacoby & Meyers.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I have never heard Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and have no idea what “Call Me Maybe” is. Now I’m starting to question if I even exist.

--I finally finished some none-Thrones, none-Walking Dead reading material. "The Big Bankroll: The Life and Times of Arnold Rothstein." A much more interesting book than I was expecting. That era in New York with Tammany Hall and all the gangsters who played their gangster roles and all the judges and cops who also played gangster roles. Such vast corruption that made the 1919 World Series fix look like small potatoes. The only difficult thing about reading the book is that it has soooo many characters to keep track of that it’s easy to get lost in a sea of names and nicknames. Of course being a Boardwalk Empire watcher I kept track of the names most interesting to me – Lucky Luciano, Meyer Lansky, Harry Daugherty, and Waxey Gordon. Then there are the names that you know from history – Roosevelt, Thomas Dewey, John McGraw, Fannie Brice, Jack Dempsey, etc. Rothstein had a hand in every pocket while rarely reaching into his own. He was worth millions and lost his life over a $51,000 debt. His Boardwalk Empire character barely scratches the surface of A.R., but his mannerisms and personality seem to be spot on with what’s described in the biography. I’ve said it before, but I’d love for Tammany Hall to get a Boardwalk Empire-style treatment someday. Fascinating time. The book is full of priceless quotes, but toward the end when the book does a sort of “where so and so ended up” there’s this snippet of an interview with party girl Lillian Lorraine after her party years were over.

“[Ziegfeld] had me in a tower suite at the Hotel Ansonia and he and his wife lived in the tower suite above. And I cheated on him, like he cheated on [his wife] Billie Burke. I had a whirl! I blew a lot of everybody’s money, I got loaded, I was on the stuff, I got the syphilis, I tore around, stopped at nothing, if I wanted to do it I did it and didn’t give a damn. I got knocked up, I had abortions, I broke up homes, I gave fellers the clap. So that’s what happened.”

“Well Miss Lorraine,” came the response, “if you had it to do over would you do anything different?”

“Yes,” said Lorraine. “I never shoulda cut my hair.”

--Starting Friday June 8th Starz is going to start showing every Spartacus from Gods of the Arena to Blood and Sand to Vengeance. If for some strange reason you have not seen then I highly recommend. They’re showing them chronologically which will be odd because the first few episodes of Blood and Sand weren’t exactly, you know, good as the show was still finding its footing.

--I love this quote from Dr. Rami Khoury regarding that 14-year-old who bit into his Arby’s junior roast beef sandwich only to find a finger, “If a person chews or finds in food a small human dismemberment, the risk of infection is almost zero.” See, no biggie.

--The Game of Thrones cast cleans up pretty well. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Joffrey and not wanted to risk jail time for murder. It’s hard to recognize Dany too as a brunette and without her going through her trademarked “I am Daenerys Targaryen…” spiel.

Dany?  Is that you? 

--I think I had to read "The Great Gatsby" twice for school and neither time I liked it, but then nothing could ever top "Where The Red Fern Grows" as school reading assignments go. However, the book didn’t have Kanye doing music for it which I think was always a big regret of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s.

--So much negativity and cynicism in the world so let’s get to a warm fuzzy story. In Cleveland John Davis saw a panhandler in a wheelchair and, having a brother who’s paralyzed himself, John thought he’d give this guy a couple bucks. So John rolled up a couple of bills and as he approached he handed the man the money. The down on his luck man dropped one of the dollars, but bent over and picked it up. Nice story. Don’t know why I decided to put it in the ‘Tribes. Wait, oh yeah, John was pulled over by a cop and ticketed for “littering from a motor vehicle.” More specifically the ticket says “throw paper out window (money to panhandle).” When asked WTF? the cop was kind enough to reply “take it up with the courts.” What a sweetheart. I don’t know why cops have such a bad reputation?

--We all know money rules the world, especially the college athletics world. A Stanford donor, um, donated money to get the school to now recognize the offensive coordinator as the Andrew Luck Director of Offense. I like it though I'm not sure it knocks off Astros Director of Decision Sciences as job title of the year. 

I’d have called you crazy six weeks ago if you told me I’d be looking at the NL Central standings every day come late May.

--There I was writing about Lost earlier this week not knowing it was two years ago last Wednesday since the finale aired and Jack started drinking and punching female bus drivers in their female bus driver private parts. I think I’ll pop the tops on some Dharma beers this weekend and cherry pick some episodes to re-watch starting with “The Constant.” Penny + Des 4evs.

--Two more thoughts on Maxim’s Hot 100 that I neglected to share earlier this week. One, I had no idea Adrianne Palicki was in GI Joe: Retaliation so I was wrong about saying she hasn’t been seen lately. Though that movie’s release has been pushed to 2013 so sucks for you if you picked it in your summer movie fantasy league. Two, Alison Brie wasn’t in it. AT ALL. Neither was Joel McHale for that matter.

Oh and I’ll spare you the AARP Sexiest Over 50 list seeing as how Madonna is on it and Julia Louis-Dreyfus isn’t.

--I’ll be taking my shrimp in humitas form for a while. This from Samba Grille’s new happy hour menu. Three of those bad boys for $7 and you’re set.

--The headline “Man with zebra, parrot in truck charged with Operating While Intoxicated” seems odd until you look at Jerald Reiter’s mugshot. Then it all makes a lot of sense.

--Most times those loud, obnoxious people in movie theaters deserve a punch. It’s one of the main reasons I only go to the theater for Christopher Nolan or Tyler Perry movies. 21-year-old Yong Hyun Kim had enough and so threw his drink at someone and punched him in the face. Good for you Yong. The person he punched was a 10-year-old boy. Oh. Yeah, that might have been an overreaction Yong. How bad the 10-year-old and his two friends were acting is up for debate. Now for the important part. Care to guess which movie these youngsters were watching? Titanic 3-D, which apparently has much broader appeal than I gave it credit for.

--Kix and Reese's Puffs are pretty much crap cereals so this is by far their biggest contribution to humanity.

--Look Astrodome, I love you and all, but half a billion to improve you and construct a new Reliant Arena is just dumb. Not as dumb as paying the consultants who came up with this $500,000 but still pretty dumb. And how exactly is there still almost $30 million to pay off from the 1987 renovation?! Since when is Reliant Arena any kind of priority?! I’m beginning to come around to the same revelation that John Royal has here. It might be just time to Old Yeller it. It’s not as if creative, logical people are ever going to be put in charge of deciding what to do with it.

Oh and Bob McNair now’s not the time to mention not having “adequate funds” for Reliant upkeep. If you feel you’re short $5.5 million well look in your f’n couch cushions.

--Drudge Report headline I don’t see myself clicking on: “Japanese artist cooks own genitals, serves to diners.”

--Probably going to bring the thunder down on you if you show up to your high school wearing all black and carrying a duffel bag. Nicholas Fout and another student at an Ohio school did just that. In the bag was everyone’s worst nightmare. Yep, chickens. They started releasing the chickens to cause the chaos that only poultry can so at that point every student’s safety was in God’s hands. Well until the students got a hold of the cuddly, cute chickens and started showing them off to each other. Nicholas only released 7 of the 12 chickens he brought before realizing the chickens weren’t turning themselves into feathery missiles of havoc. Yeah, Nicholas was charged with disorderly and inducing cuteness…I mean panic.

Questions, comments or if you woke up at 6 and read two hours of worth of fantasy football crap…