Sunday, April 01, 2012

Now here's a little story I've got to tell. About three bad brothers you know so well.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I can’t believe Game of Thrones premiere Sunday is upon us. I tore through the books last summer so I’m very much looking forward to a refresher on what seems like ancient Westeros history. Look for Peter Dinklage’s name to be the first to appear when those awesome credits start to roll. For some reason Sean Bean’s name no longer appears.

--When the only thing you have on Thursdays now is Community there’s a lot of pressure. Unfortunately, this week was one of the weaker episodes in a while. Gillian Jacobs was great and “Britta Unfiltered” took me way too long to get, but everything else fell flat. Jeff and Annie’s subplot was one of the most forgettable the show has ever done. Hopefully Troy and Abed’s fort wars will make up for all this next week. Either way Childish Gambino needs to come out to the stage from a blanket fort at his concert here next Friday.
Magnitude – “Pop. Pop. Captain.”

--Megan was the only person in the world who thought a surprise party for Don Draper was a good idea. Don Draper was the only person in the world who thought Megan singing Zou Bisou Bisou was not a good idea. Clearly Don was wrong. So nice to have the Mad Men and women back. Two hours of goodness where we checked in on everyone with the notable and welcome exception of Betty who I assume was busy eating her own placenta? It is weird to see Don about as happy as Don can be. A Don who didn’t smooth talk Heinz into Peggy’s bean ballet. A Don who isn’t 100% all work all the time, but then again who can blame him when he has the hottest wife/maid/singer on television.
Pete is Pete and weird that he hasn’t exactly changed over the course of the show, yet I like him more and more. He’s the workaholic keeping the firm afloat. The only –holic Roger is the alco variety.
Jane: “What time is it?”
Roger: “Shut up.”
KeepItClassy has all your "Zou Bisou Bisou" gif needs covered.

--Lily Tomlin was one helluva pick for the woman who birthed Kenny f’n Powers. The sweetest mother-son moment I’ve ever seen was when they exchanged and chatted about the various drugs they had in their possession or maybe I’m just a sentimental softie like that. I’m liking Mexican Stevie more and more. Two more episodes left in what has been a bounce back season as far as I’m concerned.

--Finally South Park tackled our most pressing issue, even more pressing than the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Cats and their plotting. Oh sure cat breading looks innocent enough, but they’re evolving and South Park did its part to try and open our eyes. Three terrifying words: Oh Long Johnson.

                You're not fooling me with that sh**.  First they get the bread, then they get the power.

--The Luby’s over by UH now has migas and menudo in the mornings because Luby’s menudo screams great idea.

--Well done Keith Olbermann. Well done. There will never be another Bert Randolph Sugar.

--Glad to see Bully is being released unrated.

--Cast of Glee on Inside the Actors Studio. Uh, okay.

--Chicken and waffles latte syrup? No thanks, I’m good.

--There aren’t many good commercials around, but I like The Cosmopolitan’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” bit. If you prefer you’re “Bohemian Rhapsody” sung by a drunk guy in the back of a police car then here’s where you go.

--Our Florida Story of the Week comes to us from 18-year-old Kimberly McCarthy. Kimberly is an achiever. Over what sounds like a fun three week span Kimberly was arrested not once, not twice, but three times for DUI. Each time she was busted she had marijuana on her because she’s 18 and it’s Florida. Her defense is she was never drunk on those stops, but was only high each time. She probably needs to work on her defense.

--Michael Damian going back to The Young and the Restless? Always thought dude was going to make it big after “Rock On.” Still it is part of one of my most favorite soundtracks, Dream A Little Dream. I haven’t watched it in at least three years so I’m probably due for a visit with the Coreys and my Laney.

--Wait, the Mallrats Magic Eye poster was not a freakin’ sailboat?! I don’t know what to believe anymore.

--Ten volumes of The Walking Dead down for me. Love this non-spoiler line:
“The thing about smart m’f’ers is that they sound like crazy m’f’ers to stupid m’f’ers.”

--AMC. Football drama. Tommy Lee Jones. I’m in.  Twins sequel.  I'm out.  Arnold, DeVito, and Eddie Murphy.  I'm running out.

--Most people are poring over NFL draft rankings when really the best rankings to pore over are the rankings on of the P90X supporting cast from worst to best. Completely agree on that f’n plyo showoff Dom jumping around like a gd Italian jumping bean. Piss off Dom. Sophia made the top 10 buy my favorite dentist is number 1 to me.

--Iranian female ninjas are suing Reuters.” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen that headline. But seriously ninjas how ya gonna sue for defamation because their report used the term “ninja assassin”? You’re a ninja, words like assassin come with the territory.

--That’s only the second silliest court case over political correctness. We have Albinos suing Earl’s restaurant in Canada. Why? Because it created a beer called Albino Rhino and Albino Wings. I.K. Ero with an idiotic explanation, "You go into a restaurant and someone says, 'Can I get a palsy? Give me a palsy,'" she said. "And what it stands for is a cerebral palsy cocktail. I don't think that would fly well at all with anybody with cerebral palsy, or their families, who have to live with the condition.
"So how does it work, in [the case of albinism] that you can market food with a medical condition?"
Because. That’s Why.

--I don't know whether I'm more happy I won't be subjected to anymore once Monday's game is over.  The Jim Rome promos or whatever commercial the Neon Trees are a part of.

--Our Drunk of the Week comes to us from Montana. ‘Twas there that Arly II couldn’t hold his liquor, but then again Pomeranians are notoriously light drinkers. Oh yeah, Arly II is a 20-pound dog. Todd Schrier is the a-hole owner. Some people at a bar saw Todd give his dog vodka in a to-go cup and they worried about the dog so they called police. Police came and took the stumbling drunk dog to a vet. Arly II’s BAC was an amazing 0.348. A 0.4 level can be fatal to those of us who walk on two legs. Arly II is now at a Humane Society while the case plays out seeing as how Todd was charged with animal cruelty. I say we just force Todd to get his BAC to 0.4 and then we just play it by ear. 

--I’ve heard a lot of stupid things this week (can’t make up my mind on Dog Valet), but none more so than the “Nacho Grabber.” You got to be f’n kidding me.

Questions, comments or if it’s the next freakin' Sunday and you still can’t get "Zou Bisou Bisou" out of your head…not that you’d ever kick Jessica Pare out of your bed…


  1. How long did that guy spend "proving" a prop wasn't what it was said to be in the plot of the movie? What was actually seen in the magic eye is as relevant as whether or not Jay and Silent Bob were actually smoking weed in the scenes. It doesn't matter at all......Nerds have WAY too much time on their hands.

  2. Agreed. As an aside I hated those stupid posters or I hated I never saw crap in them.


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