Wednesday, January 04, 2012

What's the time? it's time to get ill

Nothing To It, But To Do It

Look Houston, I know the Texans have lost three straight, that they’re down to their third-string QB, that you don’t have confidence in Gary Kubiak to tie his shoelaces without taking a timeout, that the Oilers have scarred your heart, but bottom line…the Texans are in the playoffs. I don’t care if it was inevitable with how crappy the AFC South turned out to be. The Texans are there. It’s what we as fans have always wanted. Sure it’d be nice if they were healthier, but dem’s da breaks. Just because they aren’t a threat to win the Super Bowl you’re not going to get excited about this? Twelve teams are still playing football. Twenty teams are not. The Texans are one of the twelve so I don’t see why the fans (judging by talk radio ((grain of salt)) callers) are kind of numb to what’s going down at Reliant this weekend. Maybe it’s just a holiday hangover because I’m fairly certain Reliant is going to be nuts on Saturday. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s the freaking postseason in our house. Finally. Save the doomsday, sky is falling attitude until after Saturday’s game is possibly lost. But until then let’s, oh I don’t know, crack a smile. Believe me, if I can crack a smile about the Texans then you can.
Texans – 20 Bengals – 13 and really I’m not even worried about it.

--Per @PFF_MikeClay – “My math says Texans were best in NFL against the in-line TE this season, allowing adjusted avg. TE to get 3 targets, 2 rec., 22 yds, 0.1 TD.”
And yet I’m every bit as scared of Jermaine Gresham making impact plays as I am of AJ Green. One more nugget from Mike Clay regarding Tampa's Mike Williams who did me right last year, but did me wrong this year. His numbers:
2010 - 122 targets, 64 receptions, 955 yds, 11 TDs
2011 - 119 targets, 65 receptions, 777 yds, 3 TDs

--Dulce de leche Cheerios? Honey Nut or beat it.

--If you hadn’t heard I’ve been kind of looking forward to Chris Lilley’s new HBO offering, Angry Boys, for a while now. Finally we got the first two episodes to cap off a New Year’s weekend. Promising stuff although I can’t imagine liking it more than Summer Heights High. Definitely liking Gran who I’m sure will alternate with her hilarious non-pc language with tug at your heartstrings genuine care. More Gran “gotchas” please.
Daniel and Nathan were okay.
We haven’t seen the Tiger Mom character yet, but S.mouse is going to break out like “Slap My Elbow” did. S.mouse son-father talks should be gold. I liked these first two and expect things to ramp up now that we’ve gotten some introductions out of the way.

--Those of you following the election coverage and all that you can stop now. Drudge Report headline: Mexican Grand Warlock predicts Obama loss in 2012.

--I have zero interest in reading “sample chapters” from George RR Martin’s next entry in the “Song of Ice and Fire.” Why read a chapter now and one in July when the book itself probably won’t be out for another two or three or however many years? I don’t know anyone who has read the series and is interested in reading these chapters.

--Cee-Lo doing "Imagine." Justin Bieber performing "Let It Be." 2011 could've ended worse. I'm thinking of how, but I'll come up with something. Oh yeah, Kathy Griffin took her top off. There ya go.

--The one thing about college football I won’t miss is the mad scramble to find the remote anytime Mark May is on the screen. I did like the good ol’ days when Trev Alberts used to b-slap May around the studio.

--The only RB to rush for at least 1,000 yards while averaging 5 yards a pop this season? Reggie Bush.

--Kinda weird that with all the ridiculous passing this season that only two WRs went for 100 receptions. Wes Welker with a stupid 122. The other landed on 100 exactly. Roddy White who had a league-leading 186 targets.

--Ape Donkey had a commercial girl draft that you can find here. Second round sleeper I like, the original Orbit girl Vanessa Branch.

A retro commercial boy draft and I’m thinking Jerry Sloan would be a lottery selection. Make sure you wait for the priceless Superman cameo at the end.

--I’m several chapters into the Arnold Rothstein biography I got for Christmas, but I’m glad the Boardwalk Empire Rothstein is pretty much a carbon copy of the real one. I still say a series centered around Rothstein, the rise of NY gangsters and Tammany Hall, etc. would be superior to Boardwalk Empire.

--I still haven’t gotten into RedBox, but I’m not exactly sad I didn’t get hold of these Top 5 RedBox Rentals of 2011. Just Go With It, No Strings Attached, Rango, The Dilemma or Due Date. Odds are good I will see one of those. Odds are very good you guessed it’d be the one with Mila Kunis.

--Sometimes the best discoveries of the year come in the final week of it, like Jalapeno Potato Pop Chips and Magic Hat #9.

--I’m trying to start to knock out documentaries I haven’t seen that are on Ape Donkey’s Top 25 and also on Netflix. Man on Wire fits the criteria and it was every bit as good as I expected it to be. Great direction that’s helped by a crazy ass premise and Philipe a crazy ass storyteller.

--A tumblr of 80s Baseball Players of the Day? Awesome.

--My question is what took Omar Little so long to get arrested in Baltimore?

--In Robbers Say the Darndest Things News we head to Provo where a 32-year-old woman was caught shoplifting. She pulled the “Do You Know Who I Am?” card on the cops and told them she played Rudy Huxtable from The Cosby Show. For some strange reason the cops didn’t believe her and Leah Davis was arrested. For good measure she also claimed to own the mall she was shoplifting from, also unsuccessfully. Does the guy who played “Cockroach” even play the “I’m the guy who played Cockroach” card?

Questions, comments or if you could use another couple of weeks of reruns to catch up on Netflix…


  1. Daniel and Nathan got kind of stale but Gran was money. I want a pair of her homemade PJs.

    I had a tough decision to make to coach my team between Aubrey Plaza and Emmy Rossum. Ultimately, I went with the one trained by Ron Swanson.

    Unfortunately, I've seen Due Date and Just Go With It on HBO/Starz and both were terrible.

  2. I think the Daniel and Nathan storyline will get it going after going to the "you're a legend/you're a fag" well one too many times.

    Aubrey Plaza or Emmy Rossum is tough. Of course I would've gone Alison Brie and just made life simpler for myself.


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