Saturday, January 14, 2012

I'm Ad Rock And I Shock And I Tick And I Tock. And I Can't Stop With The Body Rock.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Maybe it's because as the week has gone on my drinking has increased, but I'm feeling more and more confident about the Texans taking care of the Ravens.

--Oh how I missed thee Pawnee. Note to self: Must acquire red carpet insoles. Yeah, we all knew it was inevitable Ben was going to be Leslie’s campaign manager, but this show is so damn good they can give us a kind of filler episode and still knock it out.
Anybody else in the mood for a calzone and “claymaysh” watch party? Let me know because I’ll try to book us a room at the Low-Cal Calzone Zone.
“Get on Your Feet!”

--I thought Paul Rudd to Parks was strong. Emma Stone on 30 Rock? Out-standing.

--You are really missing out if you’re not watching Happy Endings? I can’t think of a comedy on right now that has more rapid-fire hilarity than it. It’s pretty damn hard to keep up with all the one-liners especially when a racist parrot is involved. "Okay guys, well this might be a bad time to tell you guys I’ve never actually seen The Wire."

Even if you don't laugh 30 minutes of Eliza Coupe's legs ain't too shabby.

--The Baseball Hall of Fame voting process is pretty hilarious. It’s a time to reflect on names you haven’t heard in years. Like Bill Mueller who garnered as many votes (4) as Brad Radke, Javy Lopez, and Eric Young combined.

--I had the same smile on my face when the Jaguars hired Mike Mularkey as I did when the Jaguars selected Blaine Gabbert.

--“A Day in the Life” show following ex-Top Chef contestants? Probably better than Top Chef has been the last couple of seasons. Restaurant Wars was a letdown because I like the guys left and only Grayson is left among the girls I can tolerate so seeing the mostly bitchy girls win was disappointing. Also disappointing was the guys’ food. It didn’t have nearly the wow factor I expected and Chris continues to underwhelm.

--As I’ve mentioned before I was at one of LCD Soundsystem’s last shows in New York last year. It was amazing. The performance was great, but to think they put on marathon shows like that night after night for essentially a week was mind boggling. Obviously I can’t wait to see Shut Up and Play the Hits.

--Seriously, people who make a lot of money and are supposedly educated sat in a room and said “Ń–Rob! GREAT IDEA!"
"Can we get Cheech?"
"I hope so, he’s fantastic on Guy vs. Rachael Celebrity Cook-Off."
"You watch that, too?"
"Of course, it’s bananas AND off da hook."
"Ha ha."

--When I heard about Warrior I immediately heard MMA and didn’t think it’d be much of a movie based on all the other MMA-related movies I’ve seen. Then I saw Tom Hardy and Nick Nolte were in it and started hearing positive reviews. I finally got around to watching it and it was really, really good. The fight scenes were done well and it was nice to see the likes of Anthony Johnson and Kurt Angle in the octagon. Also in it is the lovely Jennifer Morrison who is the main character in Once Upon A Time. I highly recommend checking it out. The only thing that could have made it better would have been Fred Willard dusting off his Best in Show announcing hat to provide ringside commentary. Then again I think every time we have announcers for an event in a movie one of them should be Fred Willard.

--Nobody sums up food controversies better than Stephen Colbert. So of course he praised Papa John’s for its commitment to put “service before sensitivity” when they referred to a customer as “lady chink eyes.” Stephen breaking it down, “Calling her lady chinky eyes is no more culturally offensive than calling Papa John's Italian food.” Word.
But you know if I’m going to post a Colbert clip from this past week then you know it’s going to be the one with Mike D.

--We haven’t had a good ol’ fashioned Florida story in a while, but thankfully God created swans and Mr. and Mrs. Wynne created John. John was arrested for animal cruelty and theft for grabbing a swan by the neck at Lake Eola. No word on what the swan did to provoke John. Probably something all swan-like that we’ve let them get away with for far too long.

--Animated Napoleon Dynamite? Yawn. Bryan Cranston on Archer for its two-part season finale? Fu** yeah! Archer starts back up again next Thursday.

--When I wrote “Less Frank. More Fiona.” about Shameless earlier this week I forgot to include, “And no more Amy Smart’s character.” And I like Amy Smart. listed its 50 worst beers as rated by people who like rating beers. At 50 is Tequiza. Wait, is this in reverse order? Now granted I’ve never had a Tequiza, but it’s 40 spots better than Bud Light Chelada? Bottomline is there are a crap-ton of terrible beers out there. Beers that I’ll readily drink in order to save at least 50 cents a bottle. Beers like Miller Lite (48) and Bud Light (11). Although I’d probably reverse those. My boy Lone Star not on the list. Michelob Ultra is number 5. Milwaukee’s Best is #4. Numbers 3 and 2 are Natty’s Ice and Light. Worst beer in the world? Olde English 800 3.2.

--Finally some interesting studies are coming on our way instead of ones that offer subjects and results that seem penned by @FakeJohnMcClain. Two separate studies have shown that the “more intelligent children grew up to drink alcohol more frequently and in greater quanitities than less intelligent children.” Greg at the Food & Wine Blog with perhaps the most accurate conclusion to be drawn saying smart people “booze so we can tolerate everyone else.”
Also a 20-year study (so it must be legit) found that marijuana doesn’t harm lung function nearly as much as tobacco and if use is a joint or a bit more a week then psshht your lungs are probably better off for it. At least that’s how I read it seeing as how those who smoke pot inhale deeply strengthening lung tissue. Also THC “helps fight inflammation and may counteract the effects of more irritating chemicals in the drug.” Science!

--There’s still a People’s Choice Awards? That’s cute.

--From Drudge: “Woman says wearing fake penis to work got her fired…
Hmmm, maybe I’m missing something because that kind of seems like a fireable offense.

--If enough time has passed and you were thinking about giving The Killing another chance maybe knowing that its showrunner said we won’t know the murderer until the end of the second season is enough to confirm your previous decision to stay away.

Questions, comments or if you need to slow down on Pi Pizza Friday nights…

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