Monday, December 05, 2011

For Such A Long While There's Been Such A Longing. But Now The Sun Is Shining Let's Roll Back The Awning.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Regardless of one of the outcomes, the crowds last Saturday and Sunday were the best I’ve ever been among and nobody even resorted to justifiable homicide of the referees at Reliant.

--The Texans are the first team since the 2003 Titans to win three straight games with three different starting quarterbacks. The Tennessee trio? Billy Volek, Steve McNair, and Neil O’Donnell.

--That was one of the best non-theme episodes of Community ever. Nothing too gimmicky. Wait, is Jeff and Shirley playing foosball in anime and Abed as Batman gimmicky? You kn'Community' - 'Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism'ow what I mean. Jeff and Shirley with an assist from animators and the Euros had my favorite plot this season. Foosball…with a past. Terrific stuff from Big Cheddar and Tinkletown. Shirley can disappear for episodes at a time, but this was perfect for her and it was perfect for Nick Kroll’s awesomely ridiculous German accent. And that anime sequence, bravo. Clever, funny, sweet wrapped up in some nice morality – Community at its best.
I will literally have a heart attack if I ever see three guys team up to pull off that foosball kick in real life.
I really need to hear Annie do some commentary in Christian Bale’s voice. I also need more Leonard frozen pizza reviews.
One more left before hiatus (sigh).

--We all had an “I sat in gum” guy in our group of friends at one point or another, right? And because every occasion has its own national day I did just google “National Sat in Gum Day.” Alas, no dice. We’ll have to make it December 1st then by default. We’ll also have to make December 1st National No Sexual Harassment Day. Just call in sick ladies.
Andre and mixology go hand in hand so everything dovetailed nicely into a reverse intervention with Andre looking like a “Deadwood character at a Justin Bieber concert.” Line of the night for sure. Although Ruxin was on fire culminating in, “It feels like I’m wearing a tiny hat.”
Nick Kroll your Thursday night MVP.

--Best Sunny moment? Mac stealing the motorcycle for about 10 seconds.

--Another week, another dynamite Homeland. Or I guess I could have gone with “explosive" but that would have been cheesy, so I'm glad I stayed away from that. Anyway, yeah we have a mole so that reveal might be disappointing, but the season has been so damn good anyway. Can’t wait to see how these final two episodes play out.
Not sure what kind of sense it made to have the Vice-President stand outside for a mini press conference a day after a terrorist attack in D.C…unless the VP is the mole!!!
You’re not officially lonely until you use a ruler to spread peanut butter.

Carrie has a ruler and peanut butter set at home, in the office and 90% chance in her car.

--As for Boardwalk Empire (shivers). We all knew what was coming and once it got there it was just as disturbing as we figured it would be. Gillian sure knows how to f up a kid. All that creepy vibe once they got back to her room leading up to the, “There’s nothing wrong with any of it.” Wow, and it was nice to get some blanks filled in on Jimmy’s life before the war. Oh and then Mommy gets choked, Jimmy gets speared, Commodore gets stabbed. Did I mention the heroin? Heroin. It took a while to get to the action parts of the Darmody family tree, but I’m not complaining unlike a certain Mrs. Schroder I know who likes to complain, complain, complain all the time. Seriously Margaret, STFU.
Van Alden = fugitive. Nice.

--When a 7-year-old kicks a bully in the balls it’s not called justice, it’s called “sexual harassment.” At least according to this school in Boston. Bravo.

--Saracen/Zach Gilford is getting married, but not to Julie/Aimee Teagarden therefore I close my eyes, cover my eyes and go LA LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you People magazine! Fine. Wait, he's engaged to Nikki of Lost "Nikki and Paulo"?! Has there ever been a couple with more of a disparity on the fan favorite spectrum?

--Madonna at the Super Bowl. There’s really nothing funnier to say about that than simply those five words.

--The Broncos are the first team in 55 years to win five straight games without completing more than 10 passes in any of them.


--A James Murphy documentary filmed at LCD Soundsystem’s last show at Madison Square Garden?! Out-standing. I was at the final show at Terminal 5 before the final shows at MSG and it was so good I even remember some of it. A true mark of greatness.

--In I’m-Old-Very-F’n-Old news…Ken Griffey Jr.’s son, Trey, is an All-American. He hasn’t decided on a school yet.

--Maybe it’s because I don’t use Yahoo’s search engine, but Kris Humphries was ahead of Hope Solo in Yahoo’s 2011 most searched athletes list. Danica, Tiger, Pacquiao were the top three.

--Drudge Report Headline I Won’t Click – “Woman arrested for performing abortion---on herself!”
In an upset this is not a story from Florida.

--In what is surely an upset or at least due in some part to the Lions resurgence Detroit is not our nation’s saddest city. No, that’d be St. Petersburg which doesn’t even have 162 games of Astros baseball. Detroit is No. 2 followed by Memphis, which I can vouch for. Tampa and Louisville round out the top or bottom five with Las Vegas at 10 because some people can’t figure out how to gamble. The 10 Happiest Cities? Who cares? Screw ‘em and their happiness.

--In this week’s Movies-That-Don’t-Need-A-RemakeStarship Troopers. Just leave it alone. I’ve professed my love for Starship Troopers on here a thousand times before so I’m just repeating myself when I say it might, MIGHT, be Casper Van Dien’s best work.

--Netflix, but for toys?! Well played,

--I would love/hate to be in a boat circled by a great white. I probably would have said nothing but oh sh** and fu** repeatedly like these guys.

--The biggest Thanksgiving controversy at Casa de Vara was Coke going to white holiday cans. This led to many men and women violently spitting out cola they were under the impression was regular with all the high fructose corn syrup and sugar God intended for the perfect soda . Now Coke is saying whoops, our bad and we’ll get regular Coke back in the regular red cans. Too f’n late Coke! People I know, people I love accidentally tasted and/or nearly consumed diet coke and you can’t just forget that. The tongue doesn’t forgive the sting of DIET!! Merry f’n Christmas.

Questions, comments or if you traded Tim Tebow and now you're positive he's going to kick your ass the first week of the playoffs...

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