Everybody's Rapping Like It's A Commercial. Actin' Like Life Is A Big Commercial.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Wow, we still have three more episodes of Breaking Bad left this season? How can it top what it’s given us the last few weeks? It’s not easy to take the intensity and suspense up a level after a mass poisoning of a cartel. Un-freaking real. Gus! Gus! Gus! Before all that though, Jesse! Jesse! Jesse! For the second week in a row Jesse got to lay the smacketh down. This time verbally blasting the cartel’s chemist Carlo Rota who you may remember from 24. Jesse – “Then you know what a**hole means.” It was nice to see Jesse succeed. The best was seeing Gus and Mike smile approvingly at their pupil.
Mike - “I’ll promise you this – either we’re all going home or none of us are.” Things were already tense, but once Mike says that you know it’s about to be on. Although it’s not like you could ever tell by looking at Gus. He drinks poison, but rather than shut the bathroom door and immediately start vomiting it back up he takes the time to calmly take his jacket off and fold it all nice and neat, same with a towel to kneel on before sticking his finger down his throat.
Walt Jr. was terrific in his first extended action this season. You hated Walter for lying right to his son’s face even though he had to. And then as he drifts off into vicodin land after his son puts him back in bed, “That’s good Jesse.” Boom. Walter’s conversation with him about his own dad was Bryan Cranston at his finest. Fantastic scene and effective story that gave us some real insight into the real Walter White and not some lie or alter ego.
“IFT” should be “IFADUMBASSWHOISMESSINGWITHMYSHID.” And of course Skyler bought Walter Jr. a PT Cruiser. At least he can play his “tunes” on that fancy CD player.
I don’t know where this show is going next and I’m not even going to speculate. I’m just going to sit back, say some prayers for Gus and Mike and enjoy the ride.
The Emmys should be a lot shorter next year since they can just invite the cast of Breaking Bad to the stage and give them all the bacon and eggs awards they have.

Pretty much my reaction for the entire poisoning scene/shootout. Hard to believe Gus would escape Brooklyn to run the biggest meth operation in the Southwest.

--I didn’t have high hopes for Jane Lynch hosting The Emmys so stuck with football flipping back for only the awards themselves. I did like when Don Draper kicked her out for saying in the future people were going to fast-forward through commercials. The live performance of “Hallelujah” during the In Memoriam was as awful as whatever Joel McHale and Wilmer Valderrama and whoever else was doing with that singing thing.
Anyway I was ecstatic about one particular that I’m sure you can guess. Kyle Chandler/Coach Taylor winning Outstanding Actor over the likes of Jon Hamm, Hugh Laurie, Michael C. Hall, Steve Buscemi, and Timothy Olyphant! We’re talking heavyweights and Coach Taylor gets a victory that surprises him more than anyone else in the room. Awesome and a nice little shout out to Austin too. I would have loved for Connie Britton to win too, but no such luck. However an Outstanding Writing Emmy for Jason Katims is nice and reminds me to remind you to give Parenthood a shot.

The Supporting Actor/Actress Drama awards went to the right people with Peter Dinklage winning for his great performance as Tyrion. I did find it a little odd he didn’t thank George R.R. Martin for writing the books because those were kind of important. No winner was more justified (no pun intended) than Margo Martindale who killed it and herself as Mags.
Modern Family cleaned up. Ty Burrell – fine. Julie Bowen – huh? Shouldn’t an Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy actually make you laugh. She’s a fine straight woman for Phil Dunphy, but that’s it. Well Sofia Vergara did win the Red Carpet as far as I was concerned. She also wins Vanity Fair.

Biggest joke of the night? No doubt it was Steve Carell once again getting overlooked for Outstanding Actor in a Comedy. How through seven seasons of Michael Scott he never got a single Emmy is inexcusable. His best work, not the show’s, but his best work was in his final season and yet Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory?! Whatever.

--One thing is for sure, that was the most entertaining Floyd pay-per-view I’ve seen in a long time. There was blame to spread all around in this fiasco. Victor Ortiz’s headbutt was indefensible, classless and straight dirty. He only compounded his eventual problem by wanting to make amends with Floyd with kisses and hugs and fist bumps and other forms of lovemaking. It was really odd. Dude, it’s a fight. You did something dirty, apologized, got a point deduction, but the fight does go on. Joe Cortez was clueless to the surprise of no one. He called time in and that was the last time he looked at the fighters. Huh?!? As for Floyd, I thought it was cheap, but I’m not going to hold his feet to the fire. Victor should have protected himself and his dumbassedness caused everything in the first place. What Floyd did was take away from what up to that point was vintage Floyd. It’s hard to know what to expect from a fighter in his mid-30s after a 15-month layoff, but Floyd looked like Floyd always does.
Erik Morales = man. I don’t know how he does it. I thought he was done years ago and yet he’s still around with a seemingly endless amount of blood and guts.
Canelo Alvarez handled Alfonso Gomez although that really was a premature stoppage.

--It’s good to have the boys and girl from Sunny back on the screen. Even if they have to smoosh together so they can all fit on said screen since Mac has discovered chimichangas. Dennis, “The older I get. The more vigilant I become.” Truer words. I just did 100 hummingbirds while typing that. I was trying to place Roxy the whole episode until @fidoz pointed out it was Alanna Ubach from Men of a Certain Age. Loved it when she flashed her cash at the fancy clothes place. Face! But if there are two words to sum up Sunny this week for me clearly those words are “boiled denim.” As in Charlie making “a pretty penny in boiled denims.” As in Frank explaining, “I love eggs, Charlie, and I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And if anyone doesn’t like that about me they don’t have to stick around.” Such a simple man.

--I know we all want The League back asap, but a nice three-part Archer will do just fine in the meantime. This week was the first of the three as Archer tries to hide from ISIS/his mother with Rick Rip Riley (perfectly voiced by Patrick Warburton) on his tail. Rip isn’t exactly the youngest of bounty hunters.

Archer the Pirate King should be fun.
Sploosh.

--I lasted about ten minutes or Up All Night or until I saw Maya Rudolph and Nick Cannon. I can’t explain why I dislike Maya so much, but I do. She’ll get over it.

--“Pop. Pop what?! Pop what, Magnitude?! What is he trying to say?!” - I cannot wait for a new Community this week. Not to mention Parks and Rec.

--940 passing yards in two games is a little ridiculous Tom Brady. He fell five yards short of the record for most passing yards in back-to-back games. Want to take a shot at who has that record? I would have guessed for a long, long time before making my way down to Phil Simms. By the way, the first Bill Belichick: A Football Life on NFL Network was good stuff.

--Since we’re on the subject of ridiculous passing numbers. Cam Newton obviously set a mark for a rookie’s first two games total of passing yards. Whose record did he shatter? Todd Marinovich who may or may not be dead, in prison, high.

--A Simpsons channel? Make it happen.

--Source Code on CBS? Maybe. A remade version of Beauty and the Beast on CW? Nope.

--We don’t have to live near the Mexican border to know cartels don’t play. We watch Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy and cartels have kind of a reputation. In Nuevo Laredo last week a couple of bloody, mutilated corpses were left to hang from a bridge. Why? Apparently the cartel is monitoring social media now and these particular people came out against the cartel. Wow. There were also signs around the bodies including one that read, “This is going to happen to all of those posting funny things on the Internet. You better f’n pay attention. I’m about to get you.”

--The beauty of Spotify is there was zero chance I was ever going to give Das Racist or Ladytron a chance without it. Good stuff.

--Looking good Netflix. Looking good.

--An hour-long Colbert Report? Sweet. An hour-long Colbert featuring Radiohead? Fantastic. Next Monday it goes down.

--Love when The AV Club does these episode by episode reviews with show creators like they did with Community’s Dan Harmon. This time Louie gets the treatment.

--There are bad commercials and then there’s J-Lo and Fiat. Not sure what you were going for there Fiat, but umm…no.

--Fantasy team name I saw this week that's probably old, but I liked: What Would Jones Drew.

--I had long ago grown immune to college realignment talk, but the end of Big East basketball really pisses me off.

--I double-checked and yes the Titans did in fact beat the Ravens.

--Of course R. Kelly’s new album is called “Black Panties.”

Questions, comments or if you’re looking at Kansas City’s schedule in Weeks 14, 15 and 16 for fantasy match-ups….seriously 0-2, outscored 89-10, Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry lost for the season, ouch…