Saturday, September 24, 2011

Parlez romancing into the financing. Opened up a restaurant with Ted Danson.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--God I missed those human beings from Greendale Community College. The song was great and I’m pretty sure that within 45 seconds after it happened there were GIFs of Annie from her skirt flying up at the end of the song. There were two new characters to introduce and some time spent on Dean Pelton so there was a lot to do and I thought it succeeded for the most part. Troy, “Dean you seem different. Are you in a play right now?” Hopefully Dean Pelton gets to open his monkey hotel at some point in his life. His scenes with John Goodman worked for me so I guess I’m over hating Goodman for his character on Treme. Michael K. Williams as the professor worked to a lesser extent, but he got to put Jeff in his place which set the ball rolling on Jeff’s away time from the group. Jeff got to know what a scary, Chang-filled world it is out there and cut his too cool for school shtick down to size. I liked how they handled putting Pierce back in the group. Not a home run, but a nice start. Oh and next week they best get back to Troy and Abed tags at the end. Cougarton Abbey. Nice.

--Parks and Recreation picked up where it left off in terms of the show and in terms of the high, high consistent quality we’ve come to expect. Starting with Ron putting his Tammy 1 evacuation plan into full effect. Loved watching him take that handle and stick it into the wall so he could use it to reach his emergency backpack. Ronald, “I keep a sizable amount of ground chuck in my desk. Move it or it will begin to smell. Godspeed.” Loved Leslie having an emergency s’mores provisions in her trunk although she didn’t heed Ron’s three rules: No talk about Tammy 1. No talk about Ben. No talk. I thought they handled Leslie and Ben about as nicely as they could because it would have been very easy to screw that up. And thank the heavens we get Andy as Leslie’s assistant. Awesome sauce. Andy’s little look at the camera as he discussed working at a “start-up” was gold. As was anything April did. Ending an argumentative phone call with a simple “I love you” reminded me of when Nuno and Raheel would do that at the end of their interviews. It will never not be funny.
Ann’s little subplot wasn’t bad and allowed Chris to get off a couple of lines. Chris after the first round of dong shots, “I want to apologize to all the women…and Jerry.” “The testicles are like the ears of the genitalia system. They serve a very important function, but they’re not that great to look at.”

While I appreciate NBC selling Leslie Knope campaign paraphernalia I really want an Entertainment 720 umbrella and fireplace stoker.

--Phil Dunphy - “Buffalo Phil. Worth the wait.” I wish I could say the same thing about Modern Family despite Sofia Vergara being in another bouncy-bouncy scene. Neither episode did much for me. It’s not like I think it’s bad, I just hold it to a higher standard that it hasn’t met too often for a while. Did anything Claire did in either episode make you think, “Oh yeah, that’s an Emmy winner”? Not of fan of Dylan leaving if he’s really gone.

--Damn Jax, how ya gonna lie to Opie’s face like that? Unless you’re lying to Tara’s face and Megan Siff’s face is much prettier than Ryan Hurst.
Lay hands on Gemma again Clay, I dare you.
C’mon Sons, Lem (impossible to call him anything else) isn’t stupid enough to hop a fence to shoot hoops while he has a truckload of guns waiting. Hated that.
So Roosevelt is going to need Tara’s help at some point, right?
Not really buying the club getting pissed if/when it finds out Juice has a black father.

--Nice job Weeds. I’m looking forward to the finale or an episode period for the first time in years.

--It’s hard to judge off of one episode, but I think Andy in charge of The Office will be okay. It's not like the show has been firing on all cylinders in a while anyway. The cast is so large there really wasn’t a pressing need to shoehorn a new person in. The way they explained James Spader’s random appearances lets Robert California come and go as warranted. The highlights? Dwight doing his part as a heroic anti-planker and Stanley’s new tag line, “and shove it up your butt.” The show hasn’t been the same for quite a while and really they need to put a bullet in it or have everyone go out Cougarton Abbey-style

--Seriously Fox, another Gordon Ramsay show?! There’s an interview with him in Playboy which may or may not still have print editions. Anyway, Gordie isn’t lacking for confidence should the day comes he finds himself in Kitchen Stadium, “I f’n guarantee I will come up with the best dish across those ingredients, hands down... I'd win Iron Chef, guaranteed.” Of course maybe he just knows the possibility of him ever being on that show is zero.

--Charlie Sheen’s roast is done so hopefully I don’t see him on my television in anything other than Cadence reruns.

--If you’ve been to Atlantic City anytime in the past 15 years or so then you know Sunny nailed it. That place is seriously creepy and just plain strange. Right up Charlie’s alley to be sure. If some place on the Boardwalk isn’t selling rum hams today they’re missing out on a goldmine. I’ve probably watched the Mac/guido and Dennis/Dee montages five times now. Sunny is coming out of the gates strong this season.

The only Atlantic City I like is the one I’ll be seeing Sunday on HBO.

--I decided to see if Whitney was as bad as it looked. It was worse. It says live studio audience, but it sounded like a laugh track because I can’t imagine anyone laughing that often at what I watched for 135 seconds.

--New Girl wasn’t bad, but maybe that’s because I’m a Zooey Deschanel mark and I randomly sing made up songs. Damon Wayans Jr. sure looks like Damon Wayans. I need to check IMDB to see if they’re related or something. Weird that the pilot will be his only episode after his previous series, Happy Endings, was renewed. His character was the strongest out of the three guys.

--I gave Up All Night another shot and Will Arnett and Christina Applegate are great together. Everything else, meh.

--Seriously who knew R.E.M. was still even together?

--Rebecca Masson made it to the Ad-Rock episode next week on Top Chef: Just Desserts! Not only but she was knocking stuff out of the park this week finishing on top in each challenge just not the tippy-top. After this is done we’ll welcome those cowgirls and cowboy below.

--Gotta love the way Barbara Hijek from the Sun-Sentinel hooks you into the story with her first line: “Did you hear the one about a cop, a hooker, a fake flaccid ding-dong and a possum?” No, but I could have guessed this took place in Florida. An undercover deputy asked a prostitute to join him in his car. She did because that’s what prostitutes do. She then asked to see his goods and out came the rubber slam-a-lam-a-ding-dong. The prostitute approved and then the cop asked if he could put a condom on before she gave him oral sex because I guess he didn't even want his fake penis to contract something from the likes of a typical Florida prostitute. So as she was performing he was driving. That is until a possum darted out and he slammed on the brakes. So endeth the fun and Christina Hope’s freedom.

--Scarface remake?! Too far Hollywood.

--So they just replaced a dragon with a dolphin for A Dolphin’s Tale, right?

--Maybe it’s just me, but if you’re driving around smoking pot maybe you want to take down the sun screening device?! It kind of draws attention. C’mon Marcus Camby even Jerome Simpson thinks that’s a bad idea.

--We all take our fast food orders seriously so if you go to Taco Bell and they forget to give you hot sauce there’ll be hell to pay. In Missouri a guy drove back to the Taco Bell that forgot his hot sauce and handed back his order. Then he pointed a shotgun through the drive-through window. Yeah, he was arrested. This story would have had a better ending if he tried to pull that crap at a Los Pollos Hermanos.

--I highly recommend reading Louis CK discussing the Dane Cook episode. Good stuff.

--A Walking Dead talk show to air after Walking Dead is just dumb beyond it being called Talking Dead. It’s a freakin’ zombie show. Not that this would work for any show present or past with the possible exception of Lost.

Questions, comments or if you’re savoring the fact that at this is the weekend you don’t have to sweat the Coogs blowing one to an inferior team…we don't have to sweat, right?

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