Saturday, September 10, 2011

And we're puttin' it on wax. It's the new style.

Dear Texans:

Long-time fan, first-time believer. Quite simply it’s time. For nine seasons I’ve sat in the press box, sat in the stands, sat on the couch and watched you come up losers more times than winners. September 8, 2002 you came up a winner and you let us know what we were missing from our lives. Football pride. I’ve said his name in vain more times than I’d care to remember over the past year or so, but thank you Bob McNair for bringing that feeling to Houston for the first time in years. But I'm gonna need that feeling more often this season.

As I started to write this I wrote about the highs, but mostly lows that I’ve experienced over those first nine seasons. I complained about Charley Casserly, Gary Kubiak, Rick Smith and Matt Stevens (sorry Matt, but I can’t quit you). All those things that have made me cynical over the years. Then I hit delete because it’s not about our past it’s about Week One of the rest of our lives. Overly dramatic? Of course, but it’s football. Everything is magnified and if you’re not rushing to judgment then you’re moseying on over to logic and common sense. And we all know there’s no room for logic and common sense when discussing football!

Bottom line. Win. Please for the love of Billy Miller’s franchise-opening TD, just win. Expectations have never been higher and the stars never more aligned. If not now, when? If not you, who? If not moronic parking personnel, how about merely dumb? Those first nine seasons don’t matter. This is the only one you can control. This is the only one that matters. This season. This division. This game. This snap. It’s yours. Not because you’re due or because we as fans have suffered too long. It’s yours because you’re simply better than the Colts, the Titans and the Jaguars. You’re a playoff team. You haven’t done it yet. You haven’t lined up and played a single snap yet. And yet I believe. And as a native Houstonian that might be the biggest miracle of all.


Former Oilers Fan - Former Texans Cynic - Current Texans Believer.

P.S. If you f’n lose to a non-Peyton Colts team at home on Sunday you can all go to hell :)

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Steven Wright, Chris Rock, and Pamela Adlon. Obviously I was a big fan of Louie this week. The end with Pamela was some crushingly sweet stuff. “Wait for you?!” Surprised we didn’t get back to Louie and his 13-year-old niece living with him, but then Louie isn’t exactly serialized.
Just a fantastic season up and down that didn’t have to make you laugh to make you enjoy what you were watching no matter how uncomfortable or depressing it got. I can’t wait to see what Louie has in store for next season. I have a feeling it will involve a lot of testicle talk, unrequited love, dark humor, fart humor and those little girls being little girls.

--Wilfred – “Wait! I was wrong! I do want pizza!”

Really liked Wilfred’s finale as we got to understand more about Ryan’s lawyer days. Ryan had himself a nice, evil plan to get the girl, but it all went haywire. Now the girl thinks she’s pregnant with Chris Klein’s child. A scary proposition for any woman. Then of course the big reveal at the end that the basement he and Wilfred had their playtime in was simply a closet. Though I’ll say the who, what, why of Wilfred doesn’t interest me as much as others. I just like watching this dark little comedy as we explore the tangled web of Ryan, Wilfred, Jenna, and Bear. This show could easily be a disaster, but Elijah Wood and Jason Gann are given good material and absolutely knock out their roles.
Ryan pissed at Wilfie about his Lost metaphor – “I’ve seen Lost, Wilfred.”
Wilfred – “What did you think about the ending?’

--Can. Not. Wait.

--Cat Cora opening up a restaurant inside Intercontinental?!

--That’s my one-armed Sugar Hooker! Rebecca was on the bottom of the Quickfire, but the top of the bottom in the Elimination Challenge to make it one week closer to Ad-Rock’s appearance on the show and isn’t that the real prize this year? Full recap on Ape Donkey.

--Anyone who is criticizing Toddlers and Tiaras for dressing one of the girls in Julia Roberts’ prostitute outfit has clearly never seen the show because this and worse is pretty much a weekly thing.

--Arturo Gatti was murdered? No sh**.

--Way to f it up Nick Diaz.

--When I see the trailers for Warrior I think eh. And yet 82% on Rotten Tomatoes.

--How is Childish Gambino just now getting a record deal? Seems like this could have been sewn up a while ago. Either way November his new one comes up or drops or whatever the term is these days.

--Real quick run through how the NFL season won’t turn out because it’s how I predict it.
AFC North - Ravens
NFC North - Packers
AFC South – Texans (10-6)
NFC South - Saints
AFC West - Chargers
NFC West - Rams
AFC East - Patriots
NFC East - Eagles
Wild Cards – Steelers, Jets, Falcons, Lions
Packers beat Chargers to repeat as champs.

Questions, comments or if you now go into convulsions upon the mention of conference realignment…


  1. I would love a SD v GB Super Bowl since I have futures bets on both of them.

    I loved the evil Ryan stuff on Wilfred this week. The bubbles distraction technique never got old.

  2. I'll never get tired of Wilfred's irresistible addictions like bubbles and the tennis ball trick

  3. Anonymous8:08 AM

    Wilfred is freaking brilliant. Although I must say I am extremely curious about what the heck is going on.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.