Friday, July 29, 2011

Hip-hop, body rockin' doing the do. Beer drinking, breath stinking, sniffing glue.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Optimism is not a familiar feeling to Houston sports fans, but it’s the strange new feeling that best describes how I feel after the Texans’ first week of doing business. Nnamdi would have been great, but I’d rather have the combination of Johnathan Joseph and Danieal Manning. Joseph is such good value and younger than Nnamdi while not all that behind him in skill set. It’s so weird to have a real safety back there now too. Not to mention Manning’s return skills. I mean damn what the hell are the Texans doing when the city, the national "experts" and talk show hosts all pretty much agree Thursday was a great day to be a Texans fan? Never thought I'd see the day. If you don't mind I'm going to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can before it gets tested on a weekly basis every Sunday.

By the way, this compressed free agency period has been insane fun to watch play out on Twitter.

--I could watch Louie try to put his arm around Pamela Adlon all day. Just another painfully uncomfortable amusing day in the life of Louie. Helluva declaration of love though.

--Wilfred’s best trick yet has been bringing Chris Klein back from the dead and giving him a perfect Chris Klein role. I really like this bizarre little show. Best line was when Ryan questioned the mustard stained Wilfred about eating his sandwich and Wilfred responded with, “Oh I get it. Because I’m a dog, right? I can only imagine what you would say if I was black.”
If you ever stumble across Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li or whatever the hell it’s called you need to watch some of Chris Klein in that. I’m not sure if he won a Razzie, but that was some of the worst acting in one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

--Patricia Clarkson as Tammy One will probably work out fine though I was a little let down when I first saw her name.

--The It’s Always Sunny promos are outstanding.

--Oh yay a Sex and the City prequel being discussed.

--The Chew looks as awful as it initially sounded. No more Erica, Kendall, Ryan, etc. on ABC for this!

--Writing of “awful as it initially sounded.” The trailer for the Battleship movie. Ridiculous. They should have killed two craptastic movies with one stone and just called it Cowboys & Aliens & Battleships.

--So The Walking Dead fired its writers after the first season, almost went completely with freelance writers for the second and now showrunner Frank Darabont is leaving? Ummm, is David Gow executive producing?

--“What I teach is pole fitness – nothing else.” Yes, “pole fitness” to 7-year-old girls. Nice job England. Suddenly Toddlers & Tiaras doesn’t look so bad. I watched a little of T & T the other night because NOTHING was on and I had 30 minutes to kill. In just 30 minutes I heard a mom complain, “I do believe the pageant is maybe fixed” after a 20-year-old beat out a bunch of little girls to win. Why are 20-year-olds competing against 5-year-olds? How the hell should I know? Another mom complained about her daughter’s eczema screwing up her beauty career. Another little girl reminded me of Arya who hated getting her hair and makeup done. So of course she’s being forced to compete in pageants because that’s what good parents do. Moms were full of compliments like this one, “We all call her the ‘little turd’ because she does act like a little turd. But for the most part she’s a very sweet child.” We also got to see the mom of the year who is pitting her daughters against each other in a pageant. Mom can’t understand the older sister can’t convince her younger sibling that getting spray tanned is fun! That was about all I could tolerate.


--I like Anthony Bourdain, but does he really need another show that sounds pretty much like No Reservations except less food-centric?

--Community = an embarrassment of riches. Seriously, Martin Starr is joining Greendale as well?! Quite a faculty between him, Michael K. Williams and to a lesser extent John Goodman.

--From “All that Sofia Vergara knows about Modern Family Season 3 is She’ll be Horseback Riding.” Of course she will, hopefully while stirring chocolate milk.

--Mad Men is now streaming on Netflix in case you want to see a real Don in action and not some weak ass Tropical Storm Don.

--I have seen exactly zero Morgan Spurlock documentaries, but his five-part series on Current, 50 Documentaries to See Before You Die, sounds interesting. He does some where are they now things with the likes of Mr. Brainwash and Billy Mitchell. If I have to tell you what documentaries those guys are in then you probably don’t need to watch this. Some of the documentaries will also air on Current after each of the five parts of the show.

--Wait, so at school it’s frowned upon if a teacher and principal smoke meth?! Even in West Virginia? Yeah, apparently so. Weird. Heisenberg wanna be.

--The lovely Emma Stone interviewed in Vanity Fair. Yeah, she's pretty f'n cool. She loves oysters and used to bake dog cookies for a living. What's not to love?

--Pretty disgusting list of ingredients of everyday foods that Buzzfeed put together. I don’t think I’ll be having anything red or pink for a while. Wendy’s Chili sounds delicious what with day-old burgers and yummy sand.

--If you have $80 and you’re craving a hot dog you’re in luck! The Brockton Rox independent league team is selling an $80 hot dog the rest of the year. Guinness is recognizing it as the most expensive hot dog in the world which is obviously very important. What goes into an $80 hot dog? A 1/2 pound all-beef dog that is deep-fried then rolled in truffle oil and porcini dust before getting some white truffles shaved onto it. Then comes some crème fraiche, caviar and fresh roe. Boom $80.

--Sunday November 6th AMC will give us Hell On Wheels. In case you forgot why you should be looking forward to this…

--Because I’m slow I didn’t realize the same director, Davis Guggenheim, who directed Waiting for Superman also directed It Might Get Loud as well as the new U2 doc.

Questions, comments or if you can’t believe the Texans made you happy for a change…


  1. Bourdain's new show may be a little redundant, but No Reservations has been killing it this entire new half. Loved the Cuba show, especially the focus on people making an independent living under Communism and all the time spent on Cuban baseball. The next two shows are El Bulli with Jose Andres and the California desert with Josh Homme. To steal a line from Drew Magary, Fuck and Yes.

  2. medinatime5:27 AM

    Nice 1560 reference. BTW...what will happen on August 1 over there? Is it going completely national? Is Southbound dead forever or will it ever comeback? Good show that needs to find another home

  3. The Cuban baseball game was pretty cool. Not exactly a Minute Maid crowd there. I liked the Macau episode too. I had no idea the Portuguese influence there. El Bulli ep will, I'm sure, be great.

  4. I have no idea what August 1st is, as long as it's not giving that guy who filled in for Travis all week a permanent show I don't think it'll be anything too stupid. Then again...
    Southbound is up in the air.


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