Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear. I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This Breaking Bad was for all the haters because if you didn’t hate Sklyer before this episode I’m sure she had you screaming at her through the screen tonight. What with her stubbornness about the car wash which was kind of cool to see how she slyly appealed to Walt’s pride to get him on her side. Her freaking out over the black eye was a little much for me though. It’s a black eye. It happens. Especially if you’re cooking meth for a living. And you’re really going to pitch a fit over a bottle of champagne paid for in cash while you’re somehow paying for Hank’s exorbitant medical bills?! Look I’m not nearly as anti-Skyler as most viewers, but she was working my last nerve this week.
Ladies’ Night continued with Marie who went back to her klepto ways. I’m not sure if in the past they included such elaborate lies, but her breakdown was coming. Clearly she’s lost it if she’s confusing the ch-ch-ch in Cheetos with the fr-fr in Fritos. Besides what sane person would want Fritos over Cheetos anyway? Not Hank that’s for sure. I think every fantasy football player smiled when Hank chastised her for buying a “useless” fantasy football magazine when the draft is still two months away. Oh the magazine days of fantasy football.
I’m not sure what’s left to say about the road Jesse is going down except to say I’m scared and those must be some hella sound proof walls if the neighbors haven’t called the cops once.
It sure was nice to have Saul back, “Can Huell use your bathroom? He’ll be quick. He’s got a stomach thing.”

--It sounds like the Coach and Mrs. Coach-centric Friday Night Lights movie is a go. I keep going back and forth over whether or not this is good thing.

--The Strikeforce card didn’t do much for me Saturday until Dan Henderson and Fedor Emelianenko met in the center of the cage. I’ve always been a Dan Henderson guy and was happy that Fedor was whiffing on his big punches early while Dan was countering. Then Dan got caught slightly and also sort of lost his balance. How Hendo managed to get up off the mat with Fedor on top of him and get behind Fedor to unleash a fight ending back to belly uppercut is beyond me. Crazy finish.
At what point can we get someone, anyone else to announce Strikeforce cards. I like Gus Johnson, but he’s terrible in MMA and always has been except in the past he used to somewhat acknowledge his newness. Now he’s trying to be authoritative and it ain’t working. Mauro Renallo has never not been annoying on broadcasts.

--“11 Amazing Radiohead Remixes”? I’m in. I'm partial to Mojib's take on "Videotape."

--Parks and Recreation paper dolls?! Breaking Bad?! Gimme.

--“Two things about Big Dog you need to know. I am clean and I am fair.” – Big Dog
Not the best Curb this week and nothing close to last week, but I did like Harry Hamlin and the “sorry window.” But no Leon and no Funkhauser was not cool. You have to have one or the other one each week.
Nice to see Steven Keaton who sometimes goes by the name Michael Gross.

--The best show I watched all weekend was the new Thundercats. Seriously. It was an hour premiere an it actually had a damn good plot to go along with the biggest breast implants you could imagine on Cheetara. Snarf doesn’t talk which is nice. Wily-Kat and Wily-Kit are juvenile delinquents. This isn’t your childhood’s Thundercats and that’s a good thing.

--I had been wanting to watch The Source Code and liked it a lot for a while and then we got to the end. Ummm, no.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Michelle Monaghan were very good.

--If you were wondering whatever happened to Samaki Walker. Apparently he drives around with 10 grams of marijuana, prescription drugs and liquid steroids for fun now. At least until he gets pulled over and then he frantically tries to eat said 10 grams of marijuana.

--Samaki not quite good enough for Dumbass of the Week. No, that goes to Micah Calamosca of Pittsburgh. A police detective was sitting in an unmarked car looking for a suspect in an assault when someone decided to open his passenger door and join him. That someone was Micah who told the plain clothes cop to beat it. The cop opened his door to allow himself room to draw his gun since Micah resembled the assault suspect. Micah was quick on his feet though as the cop later explained Micah’s excuse, “[Micah] said that he was just filming the movie [Batman] and that him taking my vehicle was part of the script.” Well done Micah. After the cop’s laughter died down Micah was arrested. This never gets old.

--Gotta find what channel Current TV for the multi-part 50 Documentaries to See Before You Die that starts tonight (Tuesday). Also looking forward to these Hall of Fame inductee docs on NFL Network this week. I like hearing Bunk/Wendell Pierce narrating the Sharpe one.

--I really want to see this Being Elmo doc. Grover rules the street known as Sesame even if my nephews won’t acknowledge how awesome it is to have "The Monster at the End of This Book" on iPad.

--Drunk of the Week comes to us from Louisiana. Billy Joe Madden was driving from Mississippi to Dallas over the weekend, but dumbass got hammered during the drive. Like most responsible drivers he had a designated driver on hand for such an occasion. Sure the designated driver was his 8-year-old son, but what would you have him do? Ask his 4-year-old daughter in the backseat to drive?! Pssh, we all know how women drive (joke ladies, just a joke). Clearly this was the best option as Daddy passed out and son drove over 100 miles before the cops pulled the summer vacationers over and Daddy got in big trouble. I assume the 8-year-old got some kind of award for driving 100 miles without crashing at some point.

--That’s a good father, but Billy Ray Cyrus is a GREAT (if not delusional) father. Here’s what he had to say about Miley Cyrus covering Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.
“I saw Miley's cover of "Teen Spirit" in South America. The crowd just went crazy. And I thought, "How beautiful, man," because I do believe Kurt's spirit is very much still on this earth, through his fans and his music. I did have a very surreal moment watching my little girl do their song, realizing, "Wow, these kids are singing along to this in English, every word. And I'm sure that Kurt loves it”

--Good little preview from Maureen Ryan on the next edition of Spartacus. It’s a long f’n wait, but hey we have a trailer!

--Heylia James was dropping one-liners on Weeds this week like Galileo dropped the orange.
Heylia – “Get your ass off my counter. This ain’t Family Ties.”
Martin Short got the other good lines. The one after Nancy’s sappy voiceover montage was nice, “What the fu**? That’s not even a story.”

--Listen Cameron Crowe, you can’t be teasing about a Say Anything sequel. Just make that m’f’er already. We need more rhyming down at the Gas and Sip.
Lloyd - “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”

Lloyd – “I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.”

--Jeremy Schaap had a nice little E:60 piece last week on the rise, fall and attempted rise of Kelly Pavlik. This week Kelly is dropping out of his Saturday fight because he doesn’t like the $50,000 he’s due to make in a fight against Lucian Bute later this year. This Saturday’s fight was going to be against Darryl Cunningham in Pavlik’s home of Youngstown. Weak, weak, weak.

--Despite his balls fetish in the middle of the season Jeff looks like a lock to win Food Network Star and have his own show that will run at least 4 or 5 Saturday mornings. Either way it’s a joke for Food Network to once again have Penny and Mary Beth as teammates next week. I’m just supposed to think that was just by chance?

--30 years of MTV in three minutes. Worth the click.

--The El Bulli episode of No Reservations this week was pretty f’n cool.

Questions, comments or if your P90X Plyo DVD is missing and your top two suspects are your right leg and left leg…

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