She chased me out of class she was strapped with a ruler. Went to the bathroom - rolled myself a wooler.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Really nothing to say about the Texans. 4-4 is 4-4. Besides Lance and Sean did all the work for me.
Lance with a dead-on State of the Texans that somehow doesn’t contain one single curse word. Bonus: Brian Cushing's father in the comments.
Sean breaks down the many ways Bob McNair is apparently going senile.

--As if the Texans aren’t enough to deal with we have last Friday’s Rockets/Spurs game. Between that and the Lakers loss it feels like the Rockets have played more than just six games this season.

--Double-elimination usually means two people get eliminated. Unless it’s on Next Iron Chef where only Bryan Caswell was eliminated this week. He seemed to be in the middle again and didn’t seem to have what any judge considered the worst dish so I’m not sure how he goes home instead of someone with a worst dish vote. Either way if you took a shot every time he said “Gulf” or “Houston” you were drunk by 8:30 the last six Sunday nights and that’s a good thing. He represented himself and the city of Houston well. Obviously he’ll share his thoughts with the class Saturday morning at 10 AM on Southbound Food.
I think it comes down to Canora and Tsai and like most everyone I’ll be on Team Canora.

--U-verse did the impossible. It quite nearly (not really) made me miss the Neelys, Sandra Lee, Ina Garten, Sunny, Marc Summers…let’s just put that all that ugliness behind us.

--Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky no more?!


--Rebecca Mader/Charlotte from Lost going to No Ordinary Family?! Best cast for a show I’ll likely never watch.

--I finally started catching up on Bored to Death and oh hell yeah this season was much better than last. Good things happen when you give more time to Ted Danson and Zach Galifianakis. Bored >>> Eastbound.
“I like visualizing delusional things and believing in them.”
“Just know, one day I’m gonna almost kiss someone you love.”
“I never dream. I smoke pot before bed. Shuts down dream part of my brain.” – Truer words.

--There’s no way I can make it until next summer without watching Friday Night Lights’ last season. I won’t put anything spoilery in here, but I will say I’m going to miss the hell out of hearing that theme song.

--Just like we all thought at the beginning of the season, Michael Vick and Vince Young are 1, 2 in QB rating going into Week 10.

--Arian Foster has three times as many rushing TDs as Ray Rice and MJD combined.

--If there’s a bigger sonuvabitch than Nelson Van Alden on television this year I don’t know who it could be. That last scene with the letters to his wife and Jimmy’s wife was the dickest move of the year.
I loved the historical aspects with the Black Sox and Harding. Good stuff and Mrs. Harding sure is great at parties isn’t she? If you want to learn a little more about Harding’s mistress, Nan Britton, click away. Nothing really spoiler-ific on her Wikipedia page, just an interesting story. Here’s Warren G. Harding’s and Harry Daugherty’s if you want a little more history with your day. Boardwalk Empire gets better and better and raises the stakes every week.

--Robert Downey Jr. is going to voice Mr. Peanut?! Mr. Peanut should remain quiet. The world would be better off if more of its commercial pitchmen would just shut the duck up.

--‘Tis the season for Turducken and now it has a bastardized dessert version. Wall Street Journal outlines the “cherpumple” as, “a three-layer caked with an entire pie baked into each layer – a cherry pie baked inside a white cake, a pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake and an apple pie baked inside a spice cake.” Cream cheese frosting finishes off the cherpumple. Believe it or not the cherpumple is actually good for you…wait, I’m being told that’s not true at all.


--Things I Did Not Expect Tom Cable To Say…“The fans were off the hook…”

--Quote of the Week though belongs to Miami LB Channing Crowder on the ineptitude of the referees, "They didn't see Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank. Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller . . . I don't know who the f--- Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. F--- it. I'm not as swift as I usually am."

--You’re going to be hard pressed to find a team with a more impressive back-to-back set of wins than what the Browns did to the Saints and Patriots before and after their bye.

--Rafael Marquez and Juan Manuel Lopez put on a show last Saturday on Showtime while everyone else was watching Texas or A&M. Rafael couldn’t answer the bell for the 9th round, but it was a helluva fight up to that point. I feel safe in guaranteeing it was much more competitive and entertaining than Pacquaio/Margarito will be this Saturday. I know for sure that it’ll cost less.

--Can’t get enough of Tron: Legacy.

You’re watching Tron Legacy - Trailer No. 3. See the Web's top videos on AOL Video

--It would be hard to come up with a Top 10 Food Network Shows list that is as bad as this one from TV Squad. $40 A Day at #2?! Are you f’n kidding me?! You must be because Good Eats isn’t on the list, but The Neelys are. Is Emeril Live still even on Food Network?!

--A pre-paid Kim Kardashian Mastercard?! What took so long? I assume novelty-size Mastercards will feature Khloe.

--Besides having everyone from Party Down in it and having good dialogue I’ve been trying to think what really made me a fan of the first season of Veronica Mars and it's really just how sexy Amanda Seyfried makes head wounds look.


--Depressing Texans stat that I decided to delete.

--Do you have to click on an interview with Paul “Mr. 1derful” Orndorff? No, but why wouldn’t you?

--Karina Smirnoff from Dancing With The Stars pretty much went from Slater to Zack and is now engaged to Brad Penny. I’d expect an announcement by the end of the week on a reality show tie-in for the wedding.

I know I don't watch much baseball, but Brad Penny's beard makes him look a lot different than when he was dating Alyssa Milano.

--Really Steelers? Four straight seasons starting 6-2? F’n showoffs.

--Chuck’s ratings were better than what George W. Bush’s interview pulled? Maybe it was because within the first five minutes NBC gave us the fetus story. Everyone in television knows you save fetus stories for the last 10 minutes so people will keep watching.

Questions, comments or if you started Ajirotutu last Sunday…