I'm the king of the classroom - coolin' in the back. My teacher had beef so I gave her a smack.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Look U-verse, you get your sh** together with Scripps Networks and y’all figure this out before Next Iron Chef on Sunday and I’ll forget about this whole little episode.
Complain here.

--I still can’t decide whether or not I like the direction Dexter is going this season. I can understand not wanting to even try and top a bad guy like John Lithgow’s character, but on the other hand Dexter’s main arc this season isn’t really doing much for me yet. The Fuentes brothers and their killings have potential, but the Batista/La Guerta, cop looking into Dex, Deb/love interest stories are so tired at this point. I think Batista or La Guerta need to go this season.

--Apparently Peter Petrelli/Milo Ventimiglia co-created a comic book that he wants to adapt for television. Bad news is he wants to star in it.

--Mad props (we still give “mad props” right?) to The Daily Show for averaging more viewers in the 18 to 49 demographic than either Leno or Letterman for the month of October. Very nice. Damn shame that Conan and Daily Show/Colbert now go head to head. Looking forward to Conan on Monday.

--Community wins Thursday night. How could it possibly go wrong with a Mean Girls vibe and, of course, a trampoline garden run by a racist who had the start of a crazy maze tattoo on his chest? Abed crushed everything in his mean girl role and I don’t care what gender you are when Alison Brie wants to “boob bump” you, you boob bump back.

Britta: “Men like sports so they can seek out and destroy their sensity.”
I liked seeing a relaxed, at peace with the world Jeff after he and Troy discovered the trampoline. Donald Glover is probably my MVP of this season. Troy singing, “You just lost. You just lost a gaaaaame. You just lost. You just lost a gaaaaaame…to Troy” was classic. As was his exchange with the Joshua, trampoline garden keeper:
Troy: “At first I was just jumping…
Joshua: …then you started bouncing like a baby on the knee of a Goddess.”
I think this was probably my favorite episode of the season and whatever that wack show was that Fez hosted on MTV would have done a lot better with Ken Jeong as host. Best reactions to slams ever. Now someone double-bounce me dammit!

--The League gave us “fear boner” and as long as it gives us something every week along the lines of fear boner and a Taco song I’m happy.
Taco: “Whoa, whoa, washing your hands is healthy? I did it because it felt good. I have so much to learn.”

--For the first time I didn’t even try to tolerate an entire episode of The Office after watching the first 10 minutes.

--Community may win Thursday, but Melissa Lee Williams wins West Virginia. The 41-year-old lives at a motor inn about four doors down from her estranged husband. Apparently Melissa need some oral loving so she knocked on her husband’s door with one simple request, “eat my pus**.” Husband declined, but he had a friend in the room who apparently had zero standards. So she undresses and he (incredible police report quote alert!), “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” So that stopped that guy in his tracks. Then things got weird. Melissa broke out a knife, pointed it at her husband and said, “Somebody is going to eat my pus** or I’m going to cut your f’n throat!” Yeah, she was arrested without the benefit of first receiving what she was looking for.

--98° can’t feel good about being left out of The Backstreet Boys/New Kids on the Block tour?


--Paste Magazine put together a list of the 20 best shows you can watch on Netflix Instant. I’m working my way through Veronica Mars which is a lot better than I expected it to be. Next up maybe the only thing cuter than Kristen Bell, Pushing Daisies. Didn’t know Louie was on Netflix so I’ll definitely revisit those. BBC’s Survivors sounds interesting, but one apocalypse at a time for me.

--Reminds me of Stone Cold's fans back in the day...


--The streak is now at two. Two straight years someone dressed as a breathalyzer for Halloween was arrested for drunk driving. This time in Nebraska and this time he was underage and this genius 19-year-old was driving around with vodka and beer as well. Pic goodness here.

--It’s early, but it looks like I’ll have to curb my enthusiasm for the Rockets this season. Hell, I was already checking NBADraft.net during the Hornets game. If you’re interested Houston is projected to pick some guy whose name contains every letter in the alphabet. Exciting, isn’t it?

--Jessica Lowndes is apparently on 90210, but is definitely in FHM.


--Bank robbers, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. When leaving the scene of your heist make sure your wallet is secure or don’t take your wallet at all if you’re fleeing on foot. Jorman Sampaio, I’m looking at you.

--Charlie Murphy f’n rules! The fun starts about a minute in.


--What happened to Kobe being hurt and the Lakers getting off to a slow start? 6-0 and averaging more points than any other team.

--How did I not know until now that Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel were married? That actually seems like a perfect match.


--Neil Rackers was on Southbound Food with us this Saturday at 10 AM. This was my favorite of all the Fantasy File spots the NFL did a couple of years ago.



Questions, comments or if Daft Punk made your Friday fly by, except for that whole U-verse thing…