Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I said I'm charming and dashing I'm rental car bashing. Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Can’t complain about going 3-1 without the man, the myth, the overtrained beast. That’s a strong start even if that one loss had to be to Dallas. Better lose to it than to Indy which looks less and less dangerous by the week. And Jim Caldwell’s use of timeouts is probably more infuriating to Colts fans than Kubiak’s use is to Texans fans.

--Nice debut for Bryan Caswell on Next Iron Chef. Not among the tops, but more importantly not among the bottoms. I know Caswell is uncomfortable being critical of another chef’s food so I know that first sandwich challenge was going to be weird, but complaining about too much bread in Ming Tsai’s sandwich seemed innocuous enough. But noooo, Ming had to throw the same criticism back at Bryan. So yes, Bryan is going to have to dick punch Ming Tsai at some point.

--Whatever the complete opposite is of “the cooler” at a casino that’s what Les Miles is.

--I can’t wait to see what happens these final two episodes of Rubicon since everything escalated this week to the point where a “cleaner” was needed. Everything is all tying together and I’m assuming Kateb has something to do with Spangler and Atlas Macdowell. Strong episode and I’m so excited about everything really picking up that I’ll forgive the terrible sloppiness of Bloom in his attempt to kill Will. Uhhh, you couldn’t have set up the stuff around his apartment until after you killed him? You are a trained killer like Kale, right? Because I like Will, but Kale would take him out in two seconds. Can’t wait to see where we go next.

--Nothing like a Sunday where you grill some food, the Texans win big, all your fantasy plays pay off, you hit a parlay, etc. You’re on that natural high and feeling happy then you sit down and watch Mad Men and sometimes you’ll make it completely through the opening scene without wanting to slit your wrists. This season has been one depressing albeit engrossing ride.

--Thankfully my man love for Kyle Orton started to grow before fantasy drafts and it’s only continued to grow during the season. Especially when he says stuff like this about the Titans, "You always hear about how tough they are and all that stuff," Orton said. "I don't think they're tough, I think they’re cheap. And it was one of the cheapest games I've ever seen out of some of those players."
By the way only Kurt Warner has thrown for more yards through the first 4 games of a regular season than Kyle Orton has already. No RB, no stud WR, a sieve of an offensive line, unreal what Kyle f'n Orton is doing.

--Remember when Chris Johnson was supposed to win your league for you?

--Man, oh man, I thought Bryan Cranston might make SNL watchable. Uhhh, negative. Seriously, Miley Cyrus is your first post-monologue sketch?! Let’s take a girl that annoys anyone past the age of 13 and let’s accentuate those annoying characteristics and let’s dress Bryan as Billy Ray, that’ll be hilarious, right? Wrong.
Kanye, on the other hand, killed it. Wow.

--Saturday morning was my first time hitting Urban Harvest farmer’s market. I sense a Saturday morning tradition in the making.

--Lone Star got cancelled pretty quickly, but it’s not like that show was 10 years in the making and then got axed before it could air three episodes. No, that’d be the fate of ABC’s My Generation. But then anyone could have told you that was going to fail.

--I don’t remember the destinations of a lot of school field trips, but I know we didn’t go to a mortuary. So I also know I never saw a brain in a jar at a mortuary, which means I know that I never saw a brain from a classmate of mine in a jar at a mortuary. Some students at a Staten Island school crossed that off their bucket list. This insanity happened several years ago, but is being brought back up because of a lawsuit. It all began when the class took a field trip to the mortuary then saw a brain in a jar labeled, “Shipley, J.” Jesse Shipley was a 17-year-old classmate who died in a car accident a few months before the trip. Jesse’s girlfriend was part of the trip which probably didn’t help her sleep for a while. The icing on this cake of insensitivity is the jar was under a sign reading, “This is what happens when you drink and drive.” Jesse’s accident involved no alcohol and he wasn’t the driver. Whoops.

--Weed dating isn’t nearly as much fun as it sounds. First clue: Vermont.

--Do we really have to have an NFC West representative in the playoffs? I know the Rams are improved this season, but really Seattle you can’t cross the 50 until the 2nd half against them?!

--Paula Deen does not have her own brand of butter, but will soon have her own brand of fruits and vegetables. Huh?

--Writing of Paula Deen, here’s Rowdy Roddy Piper trying to edumucate the masses…

--Seems like you shouldn’t be able to buy a year’s supply of food from Costco. If you’re interested it’s $800. Let me know how that works out for ya.

--Kenny Powers’ “Real American” entrance was every bit as good as you’d expect it to be. Watching a naked Stevie going to town on a prostitute was every bit as disturbing as you’d expect it to be.

--Boardwalk Empire picked it up this week as we finally got some Chalky White time and the first time a white person heard the word “motherf******.”
I don’t know the specifics of the treatment Lucky Luciano received for his gonorrhea, but it looked like the most painful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. In the 20’s I imagine a billboard showing the tools to treat gonorrhea would be the best argument for abstinence.
I’m not particularly interested in Ms. Schroeder’s role in all this yet, but I am interested in her outfitting Nucky’s girl, Paz de la Huerta, more.

--T.O.’s 222 receiving yards vaulted him to #2 on the all-time list passing Isaac Bruce.

--I believe in setting good precedents. So I like this headline from Drudge:
Cops: Memphis man shot teen after boy refused to pull up saggy pants.

--America, Perez Hilton is now starting a fitness website. I hope you’re happy with yourselves. No? Not yet? Well how about now that we know Kourtney and Kim Take New York is coming to us in January.

--In a fun world Oregon and Michigan would meet in a bowl where first to 100 wins. Wouldn’t even need a second half for that.

--I have a feeling Caprica is going to join Terriers in my library of DVR’d shows to be watched at a much later date.

--I know people on Twitter were complaining about ESPN2 holding up showing the Miami/Clemson game because of soccer, but that’s nothing compared to showing a freakin’ horse race during a college football scoreboard show. Yeah, it wasn’t breaking into live college football, but who the F cares about horse racing?! That being said congratulations to Zenyatta for beating those 1 in 5 odds of winning. Is it a “horse race” if only five horses run? Wake me when it’s time for The Kentuc…actually just let me sleep.

--50 Cent and Chelsea Handler?!

--What’s the greatest distance you think you can get between yourself and a McDonald’s? Thankfully someone figured it out for us. 115 miles. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had McDonald’s, maybe when the McGriddles first came out.

--Gotta love the honesty from Ken Whisenhunt on which QB the Cardinals will go with next weekend, "To be quite honest with you, I really don't think New Orleans is scared with who we play there at quarterback."

--There’s fall down drunk and then there’s so drunk you don’t wake up when someone uses a box cutter to cut the word “hoe” into your chest. Long, crazy story short a 22-year-old met a guy in hotel room after initially meeting him on a phone chat line, which apparently still do exist. She does the French thing (as Jimmy from Boardwalk would call it), but he wants more. She says no. He leaves. She finishes off a bottle of alcohol and passes out. Maybe or maybe not the same guy comes back at 4 am and starts calling her a hoe. She passes back out and wakes up 5 hours later with the scarlet word on her chest.

--Lara Flynn Boyle in a reality show?! Yeah, good luck with that.

--Okay DVR and Netflix, you win. First year I haven’t bought either Madden or NCAA and FIFA 2011 has been out for a week and I’m pretty sure I’m not getting that either.

Questions, comments or if you’re hitting LCD Soundsystem on Friday and Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros on Saturday…


  1. I don't really get the point of Ming Tsai being on the show.

    As far as SNL goes. If you make Seth Myers your head writer, you get what you deserve.

  2. I can see having Ming Tsai on for his name alone. I think John Besh was on the 1st season that Symon won. Should be interesting.


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