Friday, September 17, 2010

Well I'm a freaky streaker like Winnie the Pooh . T-shirt and no pants and I dance the bugaloo .

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I’ve been waiting a long time to see anything regarding the Micky Ward movie that Mark Wahlberg put together and now we have a trailer. Cannot wait to go see this. It also reminds me what a terrible ending Arturo Gatti’s life had. The fact that we will never truly know what happened to him is infuriating.

--One more boxing item...Sugar Shane Moseley and Sergio Mora on PPV Saturday. PAY-PER-VIEW. Give me a f'n break. I'm not sure there's another sport that makes it so hard for you to enjoy it.

--Um, Sunny, yeah, I like you a lot so I ask as nicely as possible, what was that for your season premiere?! It basically felt flat after the great start with “alley almonds.” I was sick of the Dennis marriage angle as soon as we saw them step out of the courthouse. HD isn’t very kind to Dennis either, his eyes looked all weird or maybe it was all the show prep I did before this and….

--The League was its usual awesome self. I wasn’t sure how Ochocinco’s appearance was going to work out, but throw in some “child please” and an “I’m in Me” rap with Taco and any worries went away. Jenny’s try to get into the league hit close to home since my girlfriend wanted in a league I commish and that didn’t happen. Rafi is the 5-hour energy new owner and he managed to get some blasts off including his subtle threesome proposal, "He's rich. I've got a huge d*ck. Let's do this!" Also liked when he was asking Chad Ochocinco if he knew his friend Mike Ochocinco because it’s rare you find a guy with the exact same Spanish numerals as a last name. Next week’s episode is supposed to one of the best yet so we have that as a reason to make it through to next Thursday.

--It’s about time we got some Doug Wilson on Weeds. He, Andy and Silas are the only guys who can keep this in my rotation, along with any scenes of Mary Louise Parker in various states of undress.
I haven’t liked Shane for a while now and his foray into the moms club at the park isn’t helping. Oh how funny, Shane is talking to the girls about Kegels. Once Agrestic burned down the suburban satire that was such a big and effective part of the show went up in smoke with it.

--I watched the last two minutes of America’s Got Talent this week which was just long enough to see Prince Poppycock. Winner.

Adrian Street approves.

--Which old man ends up with more rushing yards this year? Fred Taylor or Clinton Portis.

--And Kevin is your Top Chef winner. I believe you could have had him for +750 for just about all of the competition. He was just so ordinary for so much of it while Ed and Angelo had a lot more ‘wow’ moments. Kevin won 1 Quickfire as part of a 4-chef team and 2 Elimination Challenges (including Finals) while being in the low group 5 times. Never saw this coming, yet when we talked to Kelly on SBF she said Kevin’s food consistently impressed her the most. Either way this was one boring season that provided little entertainment. Next season’s Top Chef All-Stars is a great idea and it’s the perfect time for it. I’m pretty sure Angelo is in it as well.

--In the first 15 minutes alone Top Chef: Just Desserts provided more entertainment than the entire 7th season of Top Chef. As soon as the first guy said, “I’m gonna cut you…with my flavor” and that guy wasn’t the guy nicknamed Snow Queen well I knew this is what a dessert show on Bravo should be. Just all kinds of awesome. There’s one Johnny Weir look-alike, but just about all the guys are Johnny Weir act-alikes. Like I said, this is gonna be awesome.

--Charles Oliveira is good, very good and only 20-years-old?! The way he tore into Efrain Escudero after the shot to his junk was incredible.

--Finally Don Draper is snapping out of it and we can all go back to asking ourselves WWDDD. I didn’t really care for the voiceover narration from him though. I get that he was turning over a new leaf, but the narration just seemed like overkill. I understand we’re supposed to see Don realize the times they are a-changing, but I think we could have gotten that in other ways. Soberer Don now has his choice of Bethany or Faye (and probably Betty by end of the season). Bethany shows herself to be quite a lady in the back of the taxi, but Faye does offer herself up in the privacy of his place. Decisions, decisions. Was that a smile on Betty’s face? Wow. And F off Henry with your little games before Don forces you to eat some of that lopsided mess your wife calls a cake.
As for the office stuff I was hoping Joan would ask Joey, “What did the five fingers say to the face?” Didn’t happen because Joan knew her words could do far more harm. Nice little Vietnam blast from her to the boys even though I think we all expect her husband to be a Vietnam casualty.

Elizabeth Moss/Peggy is just knocking it out of the park this season.

--Congratulations to the Raiders on their 8th straight blackout. Also props to the Chargers for getting blacked out in their home opener. Although honestly in this day and age local blackouts are b.s. I think the NFL and its owners are doing just fine. People would gladly fill the stadium they usually funded if they could afford the tickets.

--I know it’s just my TV’s crappy sound system, but I needed subtitles for every Irish conversation on Sons of Anarchy this week. The more and more I see Titus Welliver the more and more I wish The Man in Black had defeated Jacob. Favorite scene? No doubt it was when Tig turned all the miniature dolls around so they wouldn’t be looking at him.

--Another season of True Blood has come and gone and it was my least favorite even though it involved the awesome Russell Eddington. The vampire storyline was fine although the swerve with Bill at the end seemed out of character, but hell, he’s a vampire. I honestly fast-forwarded through every non-vamp storyline for about the last 4 episodes. I have no idea what Lafayette and his male nurse friend were into, something about black magic? The Merlottes? Yawn. Tara somehow managed to grow more annoying. Jason had a great storyline last season, but this season was stuck in a terrible one. I’ll be back next season, but I’ll probably be cutting it down to a 20 minute show again.

--Want to know which new shows are worth a DVR much less an actual watch? Look no further than Alan Sepinwall’s full rundown. I think the only two newbies I’m going to give legitimate shots are Lone Star (Adrianne Palicki, enough said) and Running Wilde (Will Arnett, enough said). Maybe No Ordinary Family because hey Michael Chiklis, Romany Malco (Weeds misses him) and the lovely Julie Benz.

Tyra, is that you?

--I tried making it through Unmatchable, the new 30 for 30 with Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert, but couldn’t even make it through the first Natalie Merchant song and their evidently hilarious drive.

--Coolest map you’ll see all week breaks down the country by soda, pop, or Coke. I’m Team Coke.

--Whoa, Stringer Bell is going to be on The Big C?! That’s still not enough to get me to start watching again.

--Bye bye High Fructose Corn Syrup and hello Corn Sugar. What’s in a name?

--Did Rush Limbaugh really describe Ines Sainz as “bootylicious?”

--Sasha Grey going to be in Playboy next month? Umm, at this point, what’s the point?

That Adrian Grenier, quite an actor.

--My last meal request is as simple as can be…a six-pack of Lone Star and a dozen (or as many as allowed) Gulf oysters. The most I’ve taken down in one sitting is 8 dozen back when I was working for Pappas and didn’t actually have to pay for 8 dozen oysters. So I salute one Ken Orndoff of Mobile, Alabama. He wanted to set an oyster eating record at Wintzell’s Oyster House which was obliged since it wanted to show how safe Gulf food is regardless of that little ol’ spill. The 7-year-record he was tasked to beat was 402 oysters in an hour. If he could do it he would get his meal comped, name on the wall and a HUGE cash prize of $25. Twelve minutes in my man had thrown down 300 oysters. Then his stomach realized it had 300 oysters in it and his whole body started to revolt a little. Yeah, he threw up in a trash can. The End, unless Ken actually wants to eat vomited trash can oysters and lo and behold Ken does. He pours his puke into a cup, downs that and marches on to finish 422 oysters. If you need video proof and I’m not sure you want that, here…
Oyster sets record -- you won't believe how

--Platoon was on HDNet the other night and I watched the first half for the first time in probably close to 20 years. Who wasn’t in that movie? I had no idea Dr. Cox was in it and totally forgot about Johnny Drama’s role as Bunny. It was also one of the first roles for Duck/Mark Moses from Mad Men. From those guys to Johnny Depp to Forest Whitaker to Keith David to Tom Berenger to Willem Dafoe to the once likeable Charlie Sheen. Always love the drug scene when Chris gets high as a kite thanks to Sgt. Elias, King, and Big Harold all to the sounds of Jefferson Airplane’s drug anthem “White Rabbit.” Such a great movie.

--I also watched Papillon after @SteveintheKT and @fidoz recommended it. It’s a freakin’ epic at two and a half hours, but it’s 150 minutes of 70’s cinema goodness. Franklin Schaffner who also directed Patton and the first Planet of the Apes directed this prison escape craziness. Steve McQueen was Papillon and I’m not going to pretend I’ve seen every Steve McQueen movie, but I can’t imagine he puts together a better performance than what he showed in this one. Dustin Hoffman also damn good as Louis Dega. Cinema is never going to have another decade like the 1970s.

--Sacha Baron Cohen as Freddie Mercury in a Queen movie?! He'll look waaaay too much like Borat for it not to bother me if I watch.

--Because probably doesn’t have a lot of projects it picked eight fall shows that are likely to expand your vocabulary. Number 1 – Glee. Huh?! Next Daily Show which is obvious. Fringe and Top Chef follow and those are good choices followed by Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba. Probably scary to think watching Sesame Street as an adult can expand my vocabulary. True Blood and Mad Men round out the list. It also selected shows that won't help expand your vocabulary one bit. But it puts Jersey Shore atop that list and if Jersey Shore does one thing well it's expanding your vocabulary.

--I’m not sure at what age starting cheerleading is okay, but I’m thinking it’s not age 6. In Michigan the Teschs’ little girl, Kennedy, was booted off the cheerleading team because mommy and daddy didn’t care for one particular chant that went a little something like this:
“Our backs ache, our skirts are too tight, we shake our booties from left to right.”
Uhhh, yeah I wouldn’t condone my 6-year-old daughter chanting about shaking her bootie either or my 13 or 18-year-old daughter for that matter. What kind of cheerleading chant is that anyway? Just stick with, “U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi, you ugly. Yeah, yeah, you ugly.” Classic.

--Corliss Williamson is now the head coach at Central Arkansas?! Loved Big Nasty.

--Southbound Food has moved to 10 on Saturday mornings. This week we talk to Ricky Craig from The Hubcap Grill and Katherine Shilcutt from the Houston Press. We spend a good portion of the time with Katherine discussing a column she wrote about the term “foodies” and, well, just read it. In it I also did something I very rarely do and that’s comment on the Press or Chron.

--Boulder, CO named “foodiest” town in America by Bon Appetit. Not surprising considering it’s also most marijuana-iest and potato chip-iest.

Questions, comments or if they put you in the mix…

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