I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star. Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Okay Texans you’ve shown us a lot these first two weeks and everyone is starting to pay attention. Beat the Cowboys and you’ll be the most impressive AFC team through three weeks. And just as satisfying, Dallas will be 0-3. For the first time at Reliant since 19-10 Texans fans will have more swagger than Cowboys fans. Let’s not swagger so much we fall over. It’s just another week in the NFL. Nothing to it, but to do it.

--Running Wilde needs more David Cross and less Keri Russell. Not liking her at all and can see why people have been lukewarm on something that has a lot of Arrested Development ties. But Cross and Will Arnett will keep me tuning in…I think.

--Never such a worry with Modern Family. I can’t fathom anyone not loving this show. Classic lines left and right.
Mitchell: “But I’m a man and I want to be able to look out in the yard and say, ‘there’s a little bit of me in that princess castle.’”
Cameron: “If an accident does happen. I hope it kills me, cause I don’t think I’d be a very inspiring disabled person.
And man if you see Sofia Vergara’s salt in chocolate milk stirring as a .gif send it to me. 30 minutes of that would’ve cinched another Emmy.


--My personal favorite comedy, Community, started where it should have ended last season. The season finale was a major letdown, but the premiere picked it right back up and finished what the finale started and finished it in hilarious fashion. It was probably the first time I liked Jeff and Britta having a “relationship” storyline. Hilarious and Abed going for a wedding episode? Well played sir.
Loved Chang with, “Is there any room in this pocket for a little spare Chang?” Can we still call him Senor Chang or is that incorrect now?
Betty White was good and I’m not sure how many TV moments this fall will be better than Betty White, Danny Pudi and Donald Glover giving us Toto’s “Africa.” Wow. The most consistent gold on TV is the last minute of Community while the credits roll.


--It’s not that Outsourced used race to get laughs it’s that it just wasn’t funny. Like, at all. NBC is run by f’n morons. Who would throw this crap against the wall when you have Parks and Recreation on the bench?

--I’m a firm believer that Nadine Velasquez needs more tied up in bed wearing lingerie scenes. High-larious end to The League this week and Raffi looks like a keeper.

And you think Ruxin is overachieving...

--Not the strongest two opening episodes for Sunny, but at least we’re done with the marriage angle.

--As for 30 Rock and Office, well 30 Rock was better than it was for most of last season. Of course anytime you mention The Barefoot Contessa and her relationship with her husband, well, that’s gonna be gold.
Office just wasn’t very funny beyond the open of “Nobody But Me.” If that’s the best it’s going to come up with then the slide into oblivion continues. I mean everyone complained how last season sucked and this is the premiere they came up with?

--I don’t know what it is about the name Tara that makes TV characters act a fool, but Sons of Anarchy’s Tara was acting quite the fool this week. For a street-wise doctor who spends a lot of time with crazy Gemma Tara sure has a lot to learn.
Hal Holbrook, on the other hand, has nothing to learn about playing an old man with dementia. He crushed it this week with, "Days like this -- when I can remember everything I usually forget - these are the worst days.” Wow.
Stephen King is no Mr. Wolf when it comes to the cleaning business. It was fun seeing him, but it was more fun seeing Tig, Gemma and Tara’s reactions to his weirdness.
All in all a nice take-a-breath episode.
Best exchange of the night:
Stephen: “I’m in the mood for some music. 80’s.”
Tig: “I can make that happen.”

--The Big Lead had this Roundup pic the other day. I don’t know what brought Minka Kelly and Sofia Vergara together and I don’t care.


--If you’re keeping track of white guys who were supposed to be good in the pros…Adam Morrison is now a Wizard while Joe Alexander is a Hornet.

--$400,000 for J-Woww to appear in Playboy?! Did she even ask for money? Is Playboy run by NBC?

--I finally got around to watching a couple World of Jenks episodes and yeah that’s some quality television on MTV which is weird to say. "The Street Queen" episode where Jenks befriends a homeless girl in San Francisco was really good. Though I didn’t like that they used the production van as a safety net to get the rest of the way to her mom’s house in Oregon. If you’re gonna do homeless and helpless you gotta see it through.

--I like single malt scotch, but I don’t think I like it enough that I’ll drink it knowing it comes from the urine of elderly diabetics.

--As someone who spent many a high school weekend at Fitzgerald’s watching Sprawl, Bouffant Jellyfish and Fishbone I enjoyed this little trip down memory lane.

--Best part about Top Chef: All Stars starting up in December? Anthony Bourdain and Gail Simmons alternating weeks on the judging panel. They put together one helluva cast with my favorite two a-holes from the first two seasons Stephen and Marcel. Unlikeable a-hole Tiffani Faison. Both of the Dales. Tre who got screwed over as someone always does in restaurant wars. Casey Thompson from Dallas is easy on the eyes. Richard Blais and Spike from Season 4. Fabio, Carla, Mike Isabella, Jennifer Carroll, Angelo and Tiffany Derry round out the notable names. Two names I didn’t mention that I expect to be the first cuts – Antonia from Season 4 and Elia from Season 2.

--I assume All-Stars starts after Top Chef: Just Desserts ends. In all the seasons of Top Chef I’ve never seen anyone breakdown emotionally like Seth this week. When he started talking about his mom I knew it was going to be one of those episodes. He’s bawling his eyes out and says, “The Red Hots are for my mommy.” Dude, you’re 33 – mommy? He lost it to the point where the Quickfire guest judge had to come around the table and console him. Embarrassing. So of course they didn’t kick his ridiculous ass off. I’m on Team Zac. That guy is freakin’ hilarious and he was cutting fools left and right with his flavors.

--I mentioned the other day about Andre Johnson only looking up at Jerry Rice on the list of career games with 10+ catches and 100+ yards. Randy Moss’ sick TD catch against the Jets gave him 150 in his career. The only other players with 150 TDs are Mr. Rice, Emmitt Smith (Cowboys suck) and LaDainian who looks much better this year than I thought he would.

--An Inception video game?! Yes please, I’ll take two.

--I had no idea Smallville was still on, but apparently Teri Hatcher is going to play Lois Lane’s grandmother mother.

--Sesame Street used to be cool, but possibly pulling Katy Perry’s appearance because her Katys were out there bouncing around? How are you supposed to pull in the 18-34 year-olds with just Elmo?

Apparently True Mud is more their style.


--I’m confused. Why would the Saints ask and then why would Ronnie Lott even agree to speak to the Saints before their Monday night game in San Francisco?

--I’ve never watched Idol anyway, but isn’t their target demographic a little young to know or give two sh*** about Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler?

-- 7-1 with a 1.76 ERA for Roy with Phillies is pretty good. But not nearly as good as the new iPhone app in Philly so if you’re at the game you can use the app to order and pay for concessions that’ll be delivered to you.

--Yeah, if I’m a Kansas football player I’m telling Turner Gill where he can put everyone’s cell phones. Seriously taking up player’s phones the day before the game and giving them back after the game is beyond ridiculous.

Questions, comments or if you would do that, but your secretary is dead…