Thursday, August 19, 2010

Which came first the chicken or the egg. I egged the chicken then I ate his leg.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Chank and Co. are the cool little brothers of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. This is my personal favorite from their commercial collection. Shots of sanitizer. We’ve all been there, am I right fellas?

--Kenny Chesney and Jenn Brown?! Good for Kenny. Wait, Kenny already has a serious girlfriend of two years? Well then great for Kenny.

--Weeds is back and it’s debatable whether that’s a good thing since it already smoked its best stuff 4 or 5 seasons ago and has just been getting by on seeds and stems since. I just can’t get into the whole Shane is Dexter without the introspection thing. Just don’t care for him as an actor or it could just be the way the character is written. And if I can’t get into that then I probably won’t get into this season again and merely watch because, well, hello Mary Louise Parker. I can do without Alanis Morissette’s character, but her verbal smackdown of Nancy was pretty strong and dead on.

--I’ve played fantasy football for quite a few years now and I can’t recall a draft as wide open as this one. So many directions you can go and really it’s all about where you’re starting. I don’t see how you can screw up your draft if you start with CJ, AP, MJD or Rice. Andre Johnson and Frank Gore are just behind that first tier. In non-PPR leagues I think Michael Turner is pretty much a sure thing as well. Beyond that there are potential land mines everywhere. Michael Turner? Steven Jackson? Deangelo? Moss? I’m definitely not going to be the guy who drafts Larry Fitzgerald or Reggie Wayne. I expect Leinart to crash and burn. I expect Wayne to put up aight numbers, but Peyton just has too many options right now so Wayne’s second half of last season I expect to become the norm. Do you go stud QB route and go ahead and lock down that position early with Rodgers or Brees? How long can you try to wait on Kevin Kolb especially around here where everybody expects great things? I’m entering these drafts with as much dread as I’ve ever had. The only thing that can help? Yep, sweet, glorious alcohol.

--Finally the mainstream media is reporting on the stories we, as a nation, need to be told. The Wall Street Journal on the Sun Chip noisy bag crisis. I mean, really? We’re complaining about a new bag that is environmentally friendly and won’t take a hundred years to degrade? So what if it makes a little noise? Seriously we’re going to use sound meters to measure how loud the new Sun Chips bag is compared to other bags of chips? For the record Sun Chips rule, Garden Salsa or French Onion please.

--If you haven’t seen the behemoth NY Pizza Burger from Burger King, here ya go. This bad boy is only available at the Whopper Bar in NYC. It checks in with 4 quarter-pound patties topped with mozzarella, marinara and whatever a Tuscan Herb Mayo is on a 9.5 inch bun. All that is just under 2,500 calories so it’s pretty healthy. 2,500 calories would, frankly, be overkill.

--Chelsea Handler to host the VMAs? Interesting, not that I was going to watch anyway.

--Good to see FX showing Wild Hogs this weekend. Good primer for Sons of Anarchy.

--Black Swan has Darren Arofonosky and Natalie Portman, so uh, yeah, I'm all in.

--Because we can’t escape our past…Blondie is releasing an album next year.

--Honestly no one could have rightly expected Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood to last even this long.

--Did not expect Kanye to be all the way down at 10 in Forbes’ list of Top 20 Earners in Hip Hop.
Also did not expect Bow Wow to have enough money to where he can bet $100,000 on a game of Madden with the Game. WTF?!

--Dammit Top Chef why are you moving your show to now be opposite Tosh.0 and Hard Knocks? I mean I’m kind of interested in what Angelo and Tiffany are cooking, but I’m also very curious what’s on the menu at Café Ryan’s too.
Oh and WTF was that Angelo?! You got lucky that Alex was still going all Alex in the kitchen. I’m glad we’re waiting until next week to start interviewing Top Chef losers because I have no idea what to ask Alex beyond the pea puree incident. Angelo, Tiffany and Kelly are the front-runners in what is becoming a closer race by the week.
Also I watch Rubicon so I’m pretty sure I know how the government really runs so don’t give me this I have “business calls” excuse CIA Director Leon Panetta. Will Travers had all that under control. Who gets up from lunch with Padma? A big, fat jerk that’s who. Admittedly I didn’t get the “disguise” part of the challenge because I assumed on a cooking show CIA stood for Culinary Institute of America. I know the show is in Washington, but I’m slow like that.

--Hard Knocks had its first pop quiz last night and man it was a tough one for Antonio Cromartie who was asked for the names of all 8 of his kids. Joe "Drop Your Nuts and Run" McKnight also had a bad episode.

--Peggy/Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are no more.

--There are Oreo Blizzard Crème cookies? Like Oreos. Like Blizzards. Yet never ordered an Oreo Blizzard. I don’t think I’ve ever strayed from Snickers or Heath.

--January Jones to X-Men as The White Queen?! Not a stretch from her role as The Ice Queen on Mad Men. Didn’t miss her a bit in last week’s episode.

--Sadly the latest Dead Wrestler of the Week is very recent in the form of Lance Cade. Excellent read as always, but more so because of the issues that have and always will plague wrestlers and the WWE until they are seriously addressed.

--I get a little too excited about Hatch Chile Festival time at Central Market. Hatch Pepper, Corn and Cheese Rolls are freakin’ addictive.

--If you’re keeping WAG score at home, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch are back on.

--Samkon Gado is with the Titans now?! I assumed he was in a hospital working by now. Good luck to one of the nicest guys in the league, I hope you find a team not in Tennessee.

--An all-vegetarian Iron Chef America this Sunday? I’m in. And when the hell am I going to see that one dude from here who has that seafood restaurant compete?

--I hate going to movie theaters as much as anyone else who manages to survive past their teenage years. But I’ve never hated going because I got bed bites sitting in the seats. An AMC in Times Square is having that problem and it’s not because they’re taking Piranha 3D to the next level.
Note to Piranha: If you’re going to consume Kelly Brook please start by gently nibbling off the strings in her bikini and then start from the bottom and work your way up. I think the piranhas would agree that Kelly Brook’s chest would be the ultimate challenge on the piranha competitive eating circuit.

--Tell me this “KFC Skinwich” is just a joke. No way they’d really sell a sandwich that is nothing more than 5 layers of fried chicken skin, right? Right? Who am I kidding? They probably added a piece of skin since I started typing this.

--The Auto-Tune the News crew is getting a shot at a pilot on Comedy Central? Nice. Can’t be any worse than Big Lake.

--It doesn’t get much better than working in sports radio. Having said that it doesn’t get much worse than having to sit through a 14-inning game in mid-August between two also-rans. What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger KJ and Will.

Questions, comments or if you’re gonna pull an old school Madden all-nighter this weekend…


  1. I ran my first fantasy football league in 1992. We will have the draft for our 19th season next Friday. I'm picking 8th and I have no idea what is going to be left when I pick.

    funny thing is I've never strayed from the Oreo Blizzard although the whip cream on the Sonic Oreo Blast makes it formidable competition.

    Weeds is terrible now. The best thing on that show was Doug, Dean, Andy and Conrad. Good decision to continue eliminating or minimizing them.

  2. 8th is where I expect to pick. Terrible spot.
    More Doug always works for me. Conrad was gonna be a big loss and was never replaced.

  3. Everything went downhill once Nancy started marrying and having federal agents killed.


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