Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--I'll hate preseason football by the time the 4th quarter rolls around on Saturday night, but right I CAN'T F'N WAIT!!!!
--As we all knew Rex Ryan was made for Hard Knocks. And honestly who wouldn't want to play for this guy after this speech?
And please don't apologize for your language, that's why you're on HBO.
I highly recommend this ESPN piece on Kevin Basped who was an early cut because of his knees. What a story. I hope this guy can get and stay healthy at some point.
--Yahoo! came out with a list of top TV earners and it’s as ridiculous as you might expect. Charlie Sheen getting $1.25 million per episode for that crap Two and a Half Men is just mind boggling and 12x as much as Jon Hamm gets per episode of Mad Men. Hell, the kid on Two and a Half Men makes only $50,000 less than Steve Carell. I’m thinking Jane Lynch ($50,000 per ep) and Matthew Morrison ($30,000 per ep) are due for some big raises. Two of my personal favorites Timothy Olyphant of Justified and Nathan Fillion of Castle pull $100,000 an episode which seems like a lot until you see what the actors on the shows with initials in the titles make.
Two biggest surprises…Jeffrey Donovan at $200,000 per Burn Notice. I like the show, but am shocked USA pays that. I’m even more shocked that E! pays Joel McHale $2 million a season for The Soup although it also pays Chelsea Handler $3.5 million.
--Kim K. and Miles Austin are no more and so we've lost yet another reason to believe in love. As much as she goes through athletes wouldn’t you rather watch Kim K. on a bus touring all the training camps instead of Mort? I think the players would agree with me.
UPDATE: There are still together.
UPDATE: They're not.
UPDATE: They are.
UPDATE: Isn't Kourtney's man, Scott, the biggest douche this side of Spencer Pratt?
--Look, I hate cats, but I draw the line at marinating them. Gary L. Korkuc does not have that line. Buffalo police pulled him over the other day and heard a cat crying from the trunk. So they opened it and found the 12-pound cat marinating in a tasty mix of red pepper flakes, chili pepper, salt and oil. No word on how close kitty was to being ready for the grill or smoker or whatever the sure fire way is to cook cats.
--In news that woulda been cool 20 years ago…Van Halen is recording an album with David Lee Roth.
Along the same lines, Teri Hatcher decided to post photos of her after a bath because, well I don't know what she was trying to prove except that Desperate Housewives has some incredibly hard-working make-up people.
Even more didn’t-you-used-to-be-relevant, Pat O’Brien is getting a show on Fox Sports Radio. What the?!
--Weezer’s album cover using just Hurley’s mug is pretty damn sweet.
--We don't know about when NBC will show it, but DirecTV begins Friday Night Lights its final season on October 27th. Gotta get my “Free Riggins” shirt by then.
--Shedding Trevor Ariza’s not terrible, but not good contract and getting Courtney Lee? Yeah, I’m down with that.
--Jennifer Lopez is out as an American Idol judge and still no one cares.
--Silly me assumed Snooki would be able to get her trademark, but I forgot about the children's book, "The Adventures of Snooky." So the USPTO denied her application because of a "likelihood of confusion." Though that's only for printed matter so she'll still get her Snooki trademarked...and I think Vinnie trademarks Snooki sometime this season. You're still boring as hell Vinnie.
--The latest rumored replacements for Michael Scott are Rhys Darby (Murray!) and Danny McBride (Motherf’n Kenny!). They should just have Murray play Murray and everyone will be happy. And if not everyone then at least me and that works too.
--Deadwood’s Complete Series on Blu-Ray has a release date. November 23rd that c***sucker comes out. Among the bonus features is an audition for Swearengen from that c**t Titus Welliver (Man in Black) who obviously didn’t get the part, but did get on the show. If you’ve never watched Deadwood then you need to correct that ASAP.
--I love me some Sporcle app. I thought I’d do a lot better at getting NFL teams’ last 200-yard receiver, but I only got half. The most recent one I blanked on was freakin’ Jabar Gaffney last year with the Broncos. The oldest one I had no chance of getting was the Bears with Johnny Morris back in ’62. Pissed I couldn’t remember Drew Bennett for Tennessee. Also missed an easy one because I assumed typing “Johnson” had me covered for Dre and Chad, stupid Ochocinco. Could probably win some money by asking someone to name Indy’s last 200-yard receiver. Not Harrison, not Wayne, but Reggie Langhorne in 1993.
--Scammer of the Week comes to us from Baltimore. Andrew Palmer is the scammer who got waaaay too greedy. The fun for him started in late April at Burke’s Café where he had some wings and a lot of Blue Moon beers. How did he get out of paying the tab? By faking a seizure severe enough that he had to be taken to the hospital. He had a nice run in early May at Shuckers on one visit throwing back three glasses of Tanqueray, couple of Coronas, a Johnnie Walker Black, Heineken and a pound of shrimp before going the seizure route and hitting the hospital again. He did this over and over and each time had no ID on him and was unresponsive to personnel and just bided his time at the hospital until he was released. Eventually a Baltimore cop (McNulty? Carver?) recognized him from earlier “seizures” and now Palmer can work on his scam the next 18 months he’s behind bars.
--Apparently Britney Spears is going to be in the Britney-Brittany themed episode of Glee. Not sure how they’re going to get Britney to do a cameo what with her busy work schedule.
Wait, Puck/Mark Salling is releasing a solo album?!
--This week’s Father of the Year candidate comes to us from Florida (shocking I know). Donald Rombough knew UFC 117 was going to be awesome so he decided to check it out at Stevie Tomato’s Sports Bar. Only problem was he had his 6-year-old with him. Thankfully the kid was asleep so his dad could go watch the action. Unfortunately for Donald his son is a crybaby and that attracted some people to his truck and those people called the cops presumably to get that kid to keep it down while UFC was on. EMS actually came out and saw the boy was fine. Then Father of the Year came out and told some nosy people that he had to go back in because he had ordered food. Finally the cops came and Donald got in some trouble since the boy ratted him out and said his dad was gone for 90 minutes and not just that but he did the same thing to him earlier in the day at Hooter’s. That’s where Donald’s biggest mistake was, I mean you can’t take your son into a Hooter’s. Why even have a son? Anyway cops also found some marijuana in the car. Dad left the window down and pot and a pipe in the truck and his 6-year-old still had a bad Saturday night. I think we know who’s to blame here.
--Of course Guy Fieri gets a profile in the NY Times.
--Really Eagles you’re gonna ask a fan at practice to take off his McNabb Redskins jersey? Weak. Don’t Philly fans police themselves anyway in a situation like this?
--There's a Pop Tarts World in New York now and that's awesome. Pop-Tart Sushi?! Yes, please. That's a knock-off brand of Fruit Roll-Up that crushed Pop Tarts are wrapped in. Goodness.
--Apparently Del Taco is joining In-N-Out in opening in Texas, but starting in Dallas/Fort Worth. I can’t imagine a time at 2 in the morning when Del Taco, Cabana or Bell will sound better to me than Taqueria Del Sol.
--The man, the myth, the Billy Mitchell has reclaimed his throne atop the Donkey Kong world record list. He also took down Donkey Kong Jr. in the same night. If you have not seen The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters then I don’t think we can be friends.
--Caught five minutes of the Brazil-U.S. friendly and that was about four minutes and 59 seconds more than I needed to see to know the U.S. was getting run off the field. 2-0 does not indicate how much better Brazil was. At least Bob Bradley will be gone soon enough, right?
In more pleasant soccer news FIFA 2011 will have Landon Donovan and Carlos Vela on the cover. That comes out next month.
Wayne Rooney’s brother, John, is on trial with the Seattle Sounders. Because it’s soccer “on trial” is a good thing. If the 19-year-old shows well he’d likely get put into the MLS SuperDraft which is just like a regular draft except, you know, super!
--How many former Real World stars does it take to fix Congress? Hopefully two. Sean Duffy was in the Boston edition. Duffy wants you to roll (he’s a log roller or something) with him to Congress out of Wisconsin. Kevin Powell was from the first season also known as the only season I watched. He's running for Congress out of Brooklyn.
--If you like Johnny Carson, and how could you not, then you'll love this news about all The Tonight Shows being digitized and eventually searchable by the public. Johnny was the absolute best.
Questions, comments or if you think this is the year you actually go stud QB instead of waiting until the middle rounds…