Rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables. Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--"There's always a choice, brutha." - Desmond Hume
What a freakin’ episode! So much going on and so much forward movement and so much Des and Penny and that’s always a recipe for a classic Lost. Toss in an enlightened Charlie and Daniel FaraWidmore and you get an all-timer. I’d like to watch a video of every second Eloise has ever appeared. She’s such an interesting and complex character who seems to be the architect of the Sideways timeline we’ve gotten flashes of this season. Zap2it has a really strong review and a great explanation for Eloise’s actions. I especially like the idea that she and someone else (fake Locke) created the Sideways so she could have her son Daniel in her life and erase that whole shoot him dead thing. Whoops (shrugs shoulders).

--To the Astros credit they did get a walk in the second game. And they came as close as you can to homering. And it only took to the third game, but they did score off the opposing starter pitcher. And too many people are focusing on the 17 at-bats the Astros failed to do anything with runners in scoring position. Hello, 4 for 21 means there were 4 times the mighty Houston bats delivered. And maybe most importantly Kaz Matsui hasn’t been placed on the disabled list yet!
I have a feeling seating at MMP is going to revert to the way it was at the Dome in the lean years. Just buy the cheapest ticket and sit wherever the hell you want. Or just don’t buy a ticket at all. It’ll be fun to see what Drayton is going to try to do to get butts in the seats.

--That didn’t take long. Tron is already getting a sequel to the sequel.

--Apparently we get Mad Men back in July, which is nice.

--Fred Armisen was pretty much made to play Brainy Smurf. Anna Farris for Smurfette?

--I’m not sure how much it costs to have a dead body flown from one place to another, but I guess it’s expensive enough to try to get away with a Weekend at Bernie’s plan. In this case Bernie was a 91-year-old man while the roles of Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman were played by the man’s widow and daughter. They put him in a wheelchair and slapped some sunglasses on him. Yeah, airport security wasn’t fooled. Not even when the women said he was just soundly sleeping to explain his lack of movement.

--Wow what a championship performance from UConn. I mean to score 12 points in a half is just amazing!

--Ain't no way the Mets do something more entertaining this season than this...


--Really Tiki, dump your wife who is pregnant with twins for an intern?! Stay classy Tiki. By the way, love the job you’re doing on Today or whatever it is you’re fooling yourself thinking you’re good at.

--The Angels outsnuggied the Cavs and now own the Snuggie record. Your life feels complete now, doesn’t it?

--The Cake vs. Pie bracket on Jezebel finally has a winner. No complaints about the final pitting Red Velvet vs. Cheesecake. Winner: Cheesecake. This is a bracket where there really were no losers, well except for you Fruitcake. You suck. Take Sweet Potato and go home.

--Tina Fey looking pretty good on the April cover of Esquire. Fantastic quote about her favorite doughnuts in Brooklyn:
"The best doughnut? That's Peter Pan doughnuts in Brooklyn...It's a white-cream-filled powdered doughnut. And I really believe, when I first tried it, if I had a penis, I would put it in this doughnut. I finally understand what you guys are thinking about and what motivates you guys."


--Writing of Brooklyn, apparently five businesses were recently busted for selling pot. The restaurants were nice enough to either sell it to you in a to-go bag or make your food with it. What better place to deal than a restaurant where you get the money for the smoke and the money for the food?

--Pay-for-Pee?! I hate you airlines.

--Damn, missed Minka Kelly on Parenthood. In other former FNL casting news, apparently Taylor Kitsch/Riggins is going to be in that Battleship movie. Still have no idea how you make a movie out of Battleship unless you have Samuel L. Jackson deliver a, “You sank my mf’n battleship!”


--I’ll take the Rochester Institute of Technology to win the Frozen Four.

--Maybe it was just me, but that seemed like a weak start to Top Chef Masters though spicy Cheeto Mac with sautéed Slim Jims sounded interesting if not, you know, edible. I’m pretty sure Monica Pope has this thing in the bag. You can hear our interview with her on Southbound Food at 11AM Saturday.

--It’s not the biggest deal in the world, but look Tiger if you want this craziness to die then maybe doing a Nike spot using your dead father’s voice wasn’t the best choice. I’m not sure what purpose that commercial was supposed to serve.

--How in the hell does Kate Gosselin get yet another show on TLC?! I mean everyone does hate her, right? The entire cast of Dancing with the Stars is hoping she literally breaks a leg, right? And this new show has her travelling around America seeing how other families work and live? Are all 8 of the kids grown up and off to college already?

--There are worse choices to have to make than between Alice Eve and Hayley Atwell for Captain America’s girlfriend. Hayley was great in the mindf*** known as The Prisoner.


--Interesting read on Daryl Morey’s assertion via twitter that the Rockets are the NBA’s best team ever without an all-star, although we all know it’s just a matter of time before David Anderson is representin’.

--Dammit Nova, I wouldn’t have put your asses in my Elite 8 if I had known Corey Fisher had gotten Scottie Reynolds’ girlfriend pregnant?!

--I was a big Kanyon guy back in the day. I even appreciated Mortis, which is saying something considering how undeniably stupid WCW’s rip off of Mortal Kombat was for a time. One word: Glacier. Ugh. Anyway, Kanyon was always fun to watch especially for not being a giant, muscled up freak or an acrobatic luchadore. He was just a damn good, inventive wrestler. Long story short, Kanyon was gay, sued the WWE and likely took his life last weekend. Deadspin details the life and times of Chris. As an aside, remember when David Arquette was WCW’s champ? Seeing that it was like finally being put out of my misery. I watched for so long, paid for so many PPVs, suffered through some God awful angles and as the ship is going down…boom…David Arquette is the champ. No need to ever watch again.


--Bad weeks are currently defined as weeks without new episodes of Modern Family, Community and Parks and Rec. Although Tosh.0 makes up for those losses a little.

--Colbert killing it in an interview with David Simon about 'Treme...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
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--Chuck and Sarah 4evs.

Questions, comments or if you really just want an ambien and a chance to sleep in this weekend….