Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Cause nobody can do it likeMix Master can

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts
--Man, that was one boring ass All-Star Saturday. After last year’s awfulness whey they brought back H.O.R.S.E. is beyond me. It’s as boring as watching the Astros and Pirates in August. I’d rather watch paint dry, crack, reapplied, and dry again. I’d rather listen to 610, well I may have gone too far.
--Yeah, the Opening Ceremonies were boring, but at least they had a huge technical malfunction that made it fun to watch Steve Nash, Wayne Gretzky et al. wonder WTF while they’re standing there for what must have seemed like eternity. NBC should have just replayed the OC from China. I watched the Olympics periodically including just about all of the 1500m speedskating and yet no Colbert. Suck it NBC. Oh and suck it to whoever thought it would be a good idea to blame the dead luger just a day later instead of the fastest track ever or its designers or the fact Canada wouldn’t allow non-Canadians to practice on that track for as long as possible or whoever decided unprotected steel beams would be a good idea to place at the sharpest turn. Nah, none of those things helped cause the death. Shouldn’t NBC be releasing Chris Hansen on this story instead of just being an IOC mouthpiece? Finally, bravo to the idea of tape delaying the few interesting sports. That makes sense.
--Look people, zone seating is one thing, but when you have assigned seats on a plane why in the hell do you insist on crowding the gate entrance and boarding 20 rows before you’ve been called?! If you want to get on the plane so freakin’ bad then buy seats in the back of it. Ahhh, but then realize you won’t be the first mf’ers off the plane if you’re in back so get the hell outta the way and let the people in front of you leave. Or better yet just do everyone a favor and just stay home. Oh and that backpack bursting at the seams like Kevin Smith’s jeans ain’t gonna fit in the overhead, but you knew that already.
--Worst movie selection I’ve ever been offered on a plane: My One and Only. I had never even heard of this piece of crap until on the plane. At least they followed up that Renee Zellweger crapfest with quality entertainment like Dancing Tweens. Oh yeah, that flight seemed really short thanks to that quality programming. And not that I was gonna eat it anyway, but Continental serves these chicken wrap-tastrophes. The chicken you get is rib meat. Oh yeah, the coveted chicken rib meat. Yum.

--Christina Hendricks in NY Magazine looks kinda good.

--It’s nice to be able to look forward to HBO Sunday nights again. Starting this weekend with Life and Times of Tim and Funny or Die Presents.

--Rubik’s Slide?!

--The Breakfast Club turned 25 years old this week. In other news, I’m old.

--Benjamin Linus on The Soup = Awesome.

--I agree 100% with Jay-Z. The new We Are The World is weaker than New Coke.

--There’s bad news and then there’s Adam Chandler/David Canary leaving All My Children.

--We have to wait until next January, but apparently Adult Swim is going to give us another hour of programming with the block now starting at 9.

--Hey Playboy what’s the hold up? $2.5 million and you get Blake Lively. Done deal, right?

--Drunk of the Week comes to us from Florida, surprise, surprise. Denise Rutledge got drunk off her arse before visiting her boyfriend in jail for a conjugal visit. Good idea. Unfortunately she was late so no visit and then there’s that whole they don’t allow conjugal visits thing. For some reason authorities gave her a Breathalyzer that she failed and so she was charged with DUI for her troubles.
--Worst team name in “professional” sports: Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz. The Dawgz will be in the Arena Football League where apparently spelling doesn’t count against you.

--25 Things You Didn’t Know About Seinfeld sounds like a good way to spend an hour watching TV. I had no idea John O. Hurley actually became partners with the real J. Peterman and together they brought the company out of bankruptcy. Crazy.
Questions, comments or if one your 9-month-old nephews thought it would be hilarious to wait until his wet diaper was off and then pee all over your girlfriend at 3 in the morning and now that it’s in the past he was right…


  1. Yes...a 3 a.m. golden shower was just what I had in mind. Hilarious.

  2. See I knew you'd come around.


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