Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless. Sometimes drunk and he's always phoneless.

Oh, that one counted?

So it is possible to get close to Mark Sanchez.

Well that was fun. Rookie quarterback, rookie head coach, missing two if its best defenders, just one proven receiver, on the road so yeah of course they’re going to stomp all over a team that is/was considered playoff material. The Jets look like they’re going to be a lot better than people thought. The Texans? Well, who the hell knows, but barring an injury to Andre Johnson that was the worst possible start they could have. Pathetic. Matt Schaub played like crap, in large part due to the defense, but in larger part he just didn’t have it. Bouncing balls, overthrown balls, bad decisions they were all on display for him. It could have been worse, Jake Delhomme could have been the starter. The running game wasn’t much better as there weren’t many holes and when there were Steve Slaton wanted to dance a little bit longer rather than do what he did last year. The defense got it handed to them from that rookie quarterback. The running backs did what running backs do against the Texans so not much has changed there. Not much more to say except try not to get embarrassed next week in Tennessee. Oh and wipe your f’n shoes off Dunta. I don’t know who you are, but the Dunta Robinson I used to know wouldn’t have dreamed of pulling crap like that.

We all knew this football season was going to be about the Coogs anyway. Thanks Kevin Sumlin, thanks Dave Maggard for hiring Kevin Sumlin, thanks Art Briles for getting out of the way for Kevin Sumlin. What a fantastic win for the program. People can dust off their diplomas now and hang them up with pride for the time being. For that team to battle back like it did on the road against that offense spoke volumes about the players and coaches. Robertson is going to have its best atmosphere in years when Tech stops by for a loss in a couple of weeks. Eat ‘em up!

--Don’t you wish you had a dollar for every time you’ve heard Gary Kubiak say he didn’t have his team ready to go?

--Brad Childress going with an onside kick to start the season against Cleveland was brilliant. Why not onside kick…on the road…against an awful offense…not allowing your defense to get it right back for you in good field position? It’s not about Brett Favre getting this team to a Super Bowl. It’s about Brad Childress being a bad enough coach to screw up a great D and the awesomeness of Adrian Peterson. Another one of his smooth moves was getting Bobby Wade to agree to a pay cut and then just cutting him.

--We have four sports stations in Houston and not one could carry the Packers/Bears game Sunday night?!

--And I thought the national media had a crush on Tim Tebow. Geez Matt Barkley is just a freshman and it’s already on a Tebow level. That game-winning drive was more Joe McKnight than Matt Barkley anyway. Can’t we get somebody other than Musberger on? Please?

--Don’t you wish we had a Hard Knocks this week to see the Cincy locker room after that punch in the junk finish from Brandon Stokely?

--Last season Miami turned the ball over a mere 13 times. After one game that turnover count sits at 4.

--Keyshawn labeling Joe Flacco “a bum” = dumb. Derrick Mason saying “Keyshawn Johnson is the bum” = hilarious and dead on if talking about Key nowadays or Key during his NFL days.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Far be it from me to denigrate the WNBA for some targets are just way too easy. But really Atlanta Dream? You played all season to get home court and in Game 1 you can’t play at home because Sesame Street Live is booked at your place? David Stern the league has been waiting for its kill shot for years now. Put it out of its misery.

I'd put the guy with the tie on at center.

--Serena Williams is 200 pounds of twisted steel and ass class. Lots of class.

--If you're keeping score at home Sean Salisbury is out of yet another job and yet again it may be because of his rico suave ways. Thank God we no longer have Salisbury and Clayton killing the world with Four Downs.

--You've probably already seen the awesomeness of this Cris Collinsworth video from back in the day. It didn't take long for present day Cris to apologize for it.


--I watched about 15 minutes of the VMAs. Fortunately it was the first 15 so I got to see Madonna’s touching, heart felt speech about herself and her struggles and her fame and her music and I think she mentioned Michael Jackson in there somewhere too. As for Kanye, if someone was surprised by that they've never seen Kanye in public before. That's who he is.

--Nothing about Brazil surprises me unless it’s that someone hasn’t been murdered in over 5 minutes. The number of personal armored cars has doubled in the past 3 years in Brazil. Apparently Brazil’s economy is doing good and those who can now travel in armor to protect themselves from the likes of the Runts, Lil Zee, the police, etc.

--All right Community, you’re right after The Office premiere, you have Joel McHale, you have Chevy Chase. Deliver.

--Kimbo on Ultimate Fighter starting Wednesday. Now we see if the rumors about Kimbo’s early exit ring true.

--All this Glee, Ultimate Fighter, It's Always Sunny, Community, Dexter, Californication seasons just beginning. I think all everyone really wants to know about is when Joe Buck Live returns. September 22nd is when you want to organize your Joe Buck Live watch parties.

--I know some are falling off of Mad Men and want more direction. Me, I'm down because of nuggets like “You’re a housecat. You’re very important and you have very little to do.”

--Christoph Waltz/bad guy Hans from Basterds as the bad guy in Green Hornet?! That is a very good thing.

Questions, comments or if you’re off to San Francisco and Vegas for a week of family, food and heavy gambling…