Thursday, September 03, 2009

Living on borrowed time and borrowed money. Sleepin' on the street there ain't a damn thing funny.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--We’re getting closer to that time of year when all things fried and refried appear at the State Fair of Texas. Abel Gonzalez has won a couple of times for best new midway food and has given us such delights as deep-fried coke and fried PB&J. This year he said F the BS and is going with deep-fried butter. It’s basically dough wrapped around butter and deep-fried. Oh yeah, he has it in four flavors as well: original, garlic, cherry and grape. I’d like to hear Danny Arnold and Dr. Wolf’s opinion on this. Deep-fried butter’s biggest competition comes from the likes of deep-fried peaches and ice cream, fried stuffed peppers, fried pork chips, and fried peanut butter cup macaroons. Suddenly I’m in the mood for a salad.

--This is VERY promising…Boardwalk Empire, 1920s Atlantic City, Scorsese directed pilot, Steve Buscemi main character, written by Sopranos writer/producer, it’s on HBO. Winner. And I haven’t gotten to a cast that includes Omar/Michael Kenneth Williams and Dabney Coleman. Did you hear me? Omar and Dabney F’n Coleman!
So HBO has that scheduled for 2010 along with David Simon’s new series Treme. And then of course there’s what I’m most looking forward to The Pacific. If it’s half as good as Band of Brothers well, holy sh**, bring it.

Now instead of Brother Mouzone picture Dabney Coleman. Easy to do, right?

--Tony Romo and Candice Crawford?!

--Two words we were bound to see together eventually: Snuggie Sutra

--Soleil Moon Frye has a million twitter followers?! I'll spare you the video of her dressing up as Punky Brewster to celebrate.

--America, you hate the non-stop Favre coverage and yet you make Favre the #1 jersey seller in the land while making a f’n preseason game between the Vikes/Texans the third highest rated program on ESPN this year? Make up your mind. The jersey numbers are from April 1st to now and we find Michael Vick at 4. As you might expect the top rookie is Mark Sanchez at 7. Last year’s rookie quarterbacks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are 17 and 18. At 20 we find Michael Crabtree?! Although I guess it’s cool to wear a Crabtree uniform way before he ever does.

--I caught some of Toddlers and Tiaras the other day because I wanted to see just how crazy these parents and daughters were. Crazy enough to show off a 4-day old in a pageant. Crazy enough to give a 4-year-old a 8-hour trip to the day salon. Crazy enough to utilize fake teeth in the event the child recently lost one. And obviously crazy enough to put fake eyelashes and wigs on all the kids from 7 on down.

--Three episodes in on last season of Dexter and damn did I miss him. I know it’s gonna be a Jimmy Smits-centric season, but I need a button on my remote that allows me to skip every scene he has with Maria. It only took one episode to make me forget Dexter is married to Deb in real life (whatever that is).

--Hung is good, Lenore is great. If Hung wants to be great it’ll have an unfortunate car accident killing those two kids.

Squeeze harder.

--Linda Purl from Matlock is gonna be Pam’s mom?!

--Great list of the 40 most undeserving Starting Lineup figures. Although c'mon Alan Ashby deserved one, right? Hello? This just reads like a who's who of my common Topps cards back in the day from the likes of Tom Brookens to Andujar Cedeno to Jeff Manto to Kurt Stillwell to the man, the myth the Van Poppel...

--There is a reason I don’t drink Diet Pepsi. This isn’t it, but…Fred Denegri was grilling outside a couple of months ago and popped open a can of Diet Pepsi. He thought it tasted worse than usual and then made the mistake of looking in the can where he could see some sort of rodent. It had deteriorated, but he guessed mouse. Someone from the FDA came by to grab the can and run some tests. Turned out to be a frog, so there ya go. Of course Pepsi thinks the frog was put in there by Denegri because squishing frogs into the tiny hole of a can of Pepsi is a fun way to spend an afternoon. Poor frog. Death by Diet Pepsi has to be one of the worst ways to go.

--Rolling Stone has a Colbert cover story. I hope they’re investigating why the F he and Jon Stewart are taking three weeks off. Unacceptable boys.

--Megan Fox hosts and U2 performs on SNL’s premiere? I’m in. is a daily stop for me for its in-depth undercover work it brings to the light of day for the masses. Example #43...Alexander Skarsgard/Eric from True Blood was not only in Generation Kill (which I remember), but also Meekus from Zoolander who had an unfortunate incident at a gas station.

--Your Angry Old Man of the Week comes to us from a Wal-Mart. I’ll pause for the shock to wear off…61-year-old Roger Stephens was trying to enjoy his day at the soulless store, but a 2-year-old kept crying. Roger did the gentlemanly thing and told the mother, “If you don’t shut the baby up. I will shut her up for you.” Fair warning. A little later he heard the toddler again and what did the five fingers say to the toddler’s face. SLAP! A few times just to make sure that punk toddler got the message. He was arrested for trying to maintain the peace or some other charge associated with hitting kids who aren’t yours.

--HD was made for Padma and Top Chef. I thought she looked good in standard def, ho-ly sh**. I don’t know who The Eels are, but putting Padma in a music video is a good idea.

--I love college football, but dear Lord I can't stand Mark Jones even with the stud earring he smartly added. Ugh.

Questions, comments or if the rhymes you were kicking were quite bootylicous…


  1. You forgot to mention that Toddlers and Iiaras also features girls under 6 in 2-piece bathing suits. I didn't realize a show that appealed so obviously to pedophiles would be such a ratings success.

    Also, I admire Padma's commitment to excellence. On this week's top chef, she wore a leopard print skirt and stilettos onto an Air Force base. Talk about supporting the troops!

  2. Ugh, I don't even want to think about how that's the #1 show among pedophiles. Padma's leopard print skirt and stilettos will be tough to knock off for padma's outfit of the year honors

  3. I am surprised that Toddlers & Tiarras isn't sponsered by Chevy Vans and raincoats. It is creepy.
    I have a slightly different opinion of Diet Pepsi, my recycling bin looks like a Diet Pepsi graveyard. Of course I grew up in Ohio, up there Pepsi is bigger than Coke.
    I gave Hing a chance but the kids and ex-wofe are so annoying I quit. Just watched Sons of Anarchy season 1 and liked it a lot. I didn;t watch it when it was on since it came on right after the Shield ended. After that I needed a break.

  4. I liked the first few episodes of Sons of Anarchy but just couldn't find time to finish. I think Henry Rollins is in this season.
    And yeah Anne Heche isn't much more tolerable than the kids. It's an okay show but Sundays on hbo should be better than that


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