No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder. 'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Ah, Jessica Alba bikini pictures. Seems like generations have passed since these were weekly occurrences.

--Three down, two to go. I would rank season three of The Wire as the best yet followed by one and two. I want a movie featuring Omar and Brother Mouzone. Awesome, awesome stuff.

--Dumbass of the Week comes to us from Reno. 'Twas there Kent Boedicker decided to get his carjack on. He picked out a woman who approached a Hyundai in a Borders parking lot. He showed a gun and she showed him the keys. Dumbass got in the car and realized it was a stick. Of course, dumbass can't drive a stick so he got out and handed the keys back to the woman. The police handed Dumbass handcuffs.

--Roger Mayweather arrested and charged with coercion with force and battery strangulation. Wow, that's unexpected.

--Sookie and Bill are engaged though I'm not sure how Bill's maker is going to take this.

--What's this? A Texan getting some commercial love? Crazy, I know.

--A Colbert Bump cocktail. It was only a matter of time.

--Crazy Woman of the Week come to us from Florida. Shocking I know. Dalia Dippolito arrived home the other day to police cars, police tape and all that. The cops informed her that her husband was dead. She started crying and the cops comforted...for a bit. Then they busted her hitman-hiring ass. Apparently Dalia Dippolito didn't care for how things were going with her new husband. So obviously it was time to get in the market for a hitman. A friend of hers alerted the police to this possibility and they set her up with all the bells and whistles including, of course, putting her husband under protective custody. Coincidentally Cops was filming with the Boynton Beach cops and so we should have all this goodness on the air sometime.

--I haven't gone to Radio Shack in years, but now that it's The Shack, well...

--Adama has joined the cast of Green Hornet. Katee Sackhoff should too, unless she’s going to continue to lay around on the couch. That, well that I'm all right with...

--Finally got a date for V and it’s November 3rd on ABC when the lizards return.

--How crappy was UFC 101? Ugh, not that I was expecting greatness, but at the very least some entertainment, but that wasn’t really happening. Anderson and BJ are kind of good. Apparently Marv Marinovich can train a fighter for MMA though who’d a thought that fighter would be BJ Penn who isn’t exactly known for pushing it during training. Anderson and Forrest got Fight of the Night. That’s how bad the card was.
On the other hand, Natasha Wicks was brilliant in her debut. She took the place of Edith Labelle who was apparently too hungover to walk around the ring at 100. That’s a serious hangover when you can’t muster up the energy to walk around an octagon with your hands over your head.

--Shane Victorino ringside at UFC 101 in Philly on Saturday night. Shane Victorino thrown out of the Phillies game from Sunday….while in centerfield?!? Coincidence? Yes? Oh, okay.

--Excuse of the Week comes to us from...Florida. Didn't expect "Florida" did you? Keith Griffin was minding his own business downloading some music when his evil cat decided to frame Keith. How? By downloading child porn of course. Bastard. For whatever reason cops arrested him anyway. Meanwhile the cat roams free to download children's porn on computers all around Florida.

--Deadspin with the frontrunner for image of the week…


--Snuggies for pets. Of course.

Questions, comments, or if you're glad Sundays are really, really close to being about football and Mad Men...