Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about. I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This took longer than I thought it would..

--The T.O. Show is kicking ass in the ratings….oh wait, 798th place probably isn’t considered to be kicking ass. On the other hand it was a tie for 798th with a 5 a.m. airing of Fresh Prince on Nickelodeon. So T.O. has that going for him.

--If you haven't watched Assault in the Ring on HBO. Do it. Now. I'll wait until you're done....
Could Panama Lewis come off as a bigger scumbag? Craziness.

--Christina Hendricks in Esquire is a good thing.


--I don't know why new Lions coach Jim Schwartz had to offer this up, but it's pretty funny:
"If I find an author -- David Morrell, Mario Puzo, John Grisham or any guy I hear is good -- I'll read everything he did. I don't read books by women. I've tried to, but their perspective is different, so I stick with what I like."
Schwartz also was in front of the team the other day when he said, "I thought I had a fun vacation - until I saw these." At that point he showed the Matthew Stafford/bikini girls pics.

--Just when you think you've seen it all on Hell's in walks in the likes of Drew Lachey, Kristy Swanson, Dwight Freeney, Kid of Kid n Play, John O' Hurley and Tom Green.

--Seriously ESPN, the Mort Goes to Camp segments are bad enough, but a Steve Bartman documentary?! Why? Apparently ESPN wants to help answer the question, "Can Steve Bartman ever forgive Chicago?" Ugh.

--If you were wondering and I'm sure you weren't. Little Britain USA not coming back to HBO.

--James Harrison drives a SMART car? Sure, why not?

--'Tis the season for fantasy football and what fantasy owner who had him doesn't feel like Fred Taylor still got to pay what he owe for those injury-riddled seasons? You've probably heard of his son, Kelvin. If you haven't, well last year for a high school team he rushed for over 1,700 yards, 34 TDs and made the all-state first team. Not bad, for an 8th grader.

--A 10th inning to Ken Burns' Baseball documentary covering the last 17 years? Nice. If only there was something controversial to focus on.

--Season finale of Burn Notice this week with a reunion of Cagney and Lacey in store. That and short dresses on Fiona, just guessing.

--Sylar/Zachary Quinto in a Funny or Die video is promising. Especially if it's so good the cops called twice.

--For the fifth time this year it's Shark Week. In a given year more Shark Weeks or Buick Opens?


--Oh the money you could have made betting on Melissa after the first couple of weeks of Next Food Network Star. Apparently Food Network changed her format from the finale to Ten Dollar Dinners with Melissa D'Arabian. Catch it Sunday at 11:30 before she and the show fade into oblivion like every winner not named Guy has done.

--Wayne Brady is gonna have to choke a bitch? No, but he will have to host a new version of Let’s Make a Deal. I'd watch one of those on TV.

--The NFL may not have liked how Playmakers portrayed the league, but it was more realistic than the league would like to admit. Baltimore may not have liked how The Wire portrayed it, but it sounds damn realistic. Last week it was the 17 people getting shot on a typical night.
This week it’s a convenience store robbery gone wrong, well depending on the point of view. This 51-year-old guy is attempting to rob the place when police get there. Policeman thinks the guy has a knife so he shoots him in the head (in the head in case he’s a zombie I assume). EMTs arrive at the scene and pronounce the guy dead. By the way, the guy was holding a screwdriver and not a knife. Anyway, 30 minutes later the guy starts moving, which was apparently unexpected. So the EMTs were recalled and I guess they said “our bad” and took him to the trauma center where he remains in critical condition.

--There are beer pong tables in the NFL Shop? Oh, wait there’s a net for ping pong because you know how popular playing ping pong on metal tables is. My mistake NFL, for a second I thought you were being hypocritical with all the Fan Code of Conduct while trying to sell beer pong tables. But clearly these tables weren’t meant for that, but instead those popular paddle ping pong games that are sooooo popular with tailgaters.

--Fan-freakin'-tastic, the iPhone is gonna stream Netflix?!

Questions, comments or if the one thing you're most looking forward to this week is Buffalo Market opening and that's just a little sad...