Saturday, August 01, 2009

He was quick on the draw I thought I'd be dead. He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--After seeing more and more clips I think it's safe to say G.I. Joe is going to be one helluva bomb.

--Apparently Timothy Olyphant is not coming back to Damages, but is staying on FX with something called Lawman.

--Dexter the show = great. Dexter the game = ehh.

--Wait, People got the Saved by the Bell reunion and not Jimmy Fallon? That's just wrong. Though Funny or Die gave us some Tiffani Amber Thiessen and who doesn't want some Tiffany Thiessen? I'm guessing Screech wasn't in on the People thing since he's got that tell-all coming out later next month.

--911 calls, when not ending in death or physical abuse, are usually funny. Erin Andrews' 911 call about a-holes stalking outside her house is freakin' sad even when she busts out "I did nothing wrong and I'm being treated like f'n Britney Spears and it just sucks."

--I haven’t watched this week’s True Blood, but I’m pretty sure there will be lots of blood, Bill and Sookie will have sexy-time and I’ll be hot for preacher’s wife. I have, however, found that HBO’s online store is selling Tru Blood. A 4-pack of the blood orange juice will set you back $16.

Still waiting on Evan Rachel Wood.

--If you’re looking for a one-way ticket to somewhere then try the homeless route in New York City. Apparently the shelter system it employs costs close to $40,000 for a homeless family. So instead of that if homeless families find a relative who will take them in then NYC will buy them a one-way ticket to wherever. They’ve already sent families to 24 states and five continents. Officials say none of the relocated families has returned, although maybe just maybe that’s because they don’t have enough money to fly back or whatever state they’re in isn’t cool like New York.

--Is it me or does District 9 look promising?

--Burn Notice was renewed and that’s a good, if completely unsurprising, thing. Gabrielle Anwar and Co. were the highest rated cable program last week.

--If you friended Jamal Anderson on Facebook and recently received a message from him detailing his planned porn name of Axel Steelcock.
It wasn’t him.

--Is there anything so romantic as star-crossed lovers? Rodell Vereen has a neighbor who can only be described as a hater seeing as how last time Rodell visited she prevented his exit using a loaded shotgun. I mean, sure Rodell was coming from the stable. The same stable in which he had sexy time with a Mrs. Ed a month ago. And yeah he was visiting the same horse that led to his being registered as a sex offender at that time. But I’m sure they were just talking. What's that? Do I want to watch the surveillance camera tape to make sure it was just talking going on? Uhh, no thanks.

--Competing for Disgusting Story of the Week is Doggie Lover Doll….

You can imagine what the rear view looks like.

--Epic Hell’s Kitchen meltdown this week. Between that and a guy fracturing his wrist and another guy who severely rolled both ankles all in the first three episodes, I think I’m back in for this season.

--Quote of the Week comes to us from Portland. Donald Fite III and his girl broke up and Donald wanted to get back together. So he visited said girl and it ended up with Donald throwing her into the bathtub before she escaped and called 911. When she went back she found her pet fish in the middle of the room with a knife stuck through it. Donald told the cops, “If she can’t have me, then she can’t have the fish.” Man - 1 Fish – 0

--History Channel gonna bring us WWII in HD?! What took so long?

--You figured we were never going to find out the truth since we were talking about Brazilian authorities, but Arturo Gatti suicide? No f’n way. Apparently Gatti friend Mickey Rourke agrees, "Now they're trying to say it was suicide? That's such a bunch of bullshit. A man like that is the last [bleepin'] person in the world that would commit suicide." Lou DiBella in agreement with that, "God knows that Arturo Gatti never quit in his life. Arturo Gatti did not quit in Brazil."

Questions, comments or if you can’t decide on going to Hubert Keller’s restaurant or Michael Chiarello’s when you’re in San Francisco next month…

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