Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Had a chance to run. He pulled out his shotgun.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Alexis Arguello, Arturo Gatti and now Vernon Forrest. Unbelievable.

--A live-action Akira?! I must've seen Akira ten times back in the day and I don't remember much except I had no idea what the hell was going on, but it sure was pretty.

--Your Mastermind Criminal of the Week comes to us from San Antonio. 'Twas there that Christopher Carolan was working security for Tony Parker's house, compound, estate, whatever while a gym was being built on the grounds. So Christopher had access to things like an autographed Michael Jordan jersey that's valued at $20,000. Master criminal Christopher swiped the jersey and the very next freakin' day put it up for sale on Craigslist. Yeah, he used his real name and sold it for a whopping $120. So yeah, it didn't take long for him to get busted especially since dude left his fingerprints all over the letter of authenticity which he smartly left at Parker's gym.

--Mila Kunis is joining Natalie Portman in that Darren Arofonosky ballet movie?! Out-freakin-standing!

--Maybe you heard about the guy in Philly who was beaten to death after a Phillies game. That was part of a 5 murder night in Philadelphia which I thought was kinda high. Then I remembered where The Wire was set. and saw a Baltimore Sun headline: At least 17 shot, 2 fatally, in spate of violence on city's east side. What the hell Proposition Joe?

--Reggie fumbled Kim Kardashian?!

--G-Force capitalized on the recent surge in popularity of talking, armed guinea pigs and garnered itself the #1 spot at the box office last week.

--Susie from Curb has a book out?! It has to be in all CAPS right?

--I don’t care if it’s because of his girlfriend Miranda Kerr or whatever just as long as Orlando Bloom doesn’t want to do yet another, unnecessary Pirates movie.

--Two words that DO NOT belong together: Fizzy Milk. No thanks, Coke.

--Our Pissed Off Employee of the Week comes to us from Jeffersonville, Indiana. ‘Twas there that janitor Stephen Thompson had a crush on the court clerk at the Clark County government building where he worked. Then something about inappropriate hugs and calling her “sweetheart” prompted her to file a complaint against Thompson. So the janitor got back as only a janitor can. Urination. For about two months Thompson would relieve himself on the court clerk’s chair, but since he wasn’t a complete jerk he’d wipe it up with a paper towel. Still it left a bit of a stench and also left a little residue. Nice. So they couldn’t figure out what was happening until they put in a hidden camera and then it became easier to see what the problem was. The janitor is facing two counts of attempted battery by bodily waste. “Attempted” because the clerk never sat in the chair and never came in direct contact with the pee in question. But since she’s an employee of the Clerk Circuit Court the crime is considered a felony. Ouch.

--WarmingGlow.com titles it "The Most Preposterous TV Scene of All-Time" and yes, yes it is. It's from some ABC Family show about gymnastics or some such called Make It or Break It.

--Of course Shaq thought he might just roll up unannounced to the White House for a one-on-one with Barack. And of course he only got as far as the gate when he was told, “Shaq we can’t do it.”

--Legal system: FAIL. Joel Zellmer up in the Seattle area is charged with first-degree murder. This sweetheart of a guy allegedly drowned his 3-year-old stepdaughter and tried to cover it up to look like an accident. He’s got a $5 million bail because he’s considered a flight risk. So yeah, he’s staying in jail through his trial, well unless he’s got a toothyache. He didn’t like what the jail dentist had to say so his lawyer argued the tooth pain was so severe it would hinder his defense. So without so much as a guard, Joel was entrusted to his father to go to his own dentist. His dentist was less than three miles away from the 3-year-old’s mom who was none too happy about any of this. The alleged piece of crap spent four hours at the dentist, who had no idea he was treating an alleged murderer, and requested future visits. Finally the judge did what she should have done the first time and turned down the requests in large part because Joel’s dentist agreed with the prison dentist. It’s a crazy story in that this drowning took place two years ago and was ruled an accident. His story was that his stepdaughter went outside for a piece of cake and fell in the pool when she tried to wash her hands in it. Then it was reopened recently once McNulty (I assume) found out Joel asked the girl’s mom to buy a $200,000 life insurance policy three months before the death. Oh and there were also lots of “accidents” involving the children of women Joel dated over the previous 15 years. Not that this guy has a screw loose, but when arrested he was armed and wearing a bulletproof vest.

--I hate the kid whose mom put this in his room...

--Great Forrest Griffin interview with Fanhouse’s Michael David Smith. I’ve always been a Forrest guy, but mentioning both Kenny Powers and Party Down puts him in my Hall of Fame.

--Silly me. I figured when Arena Football shut down for a spell that Arena 2 would as well. But apparently not. Although the money situation in af2 doesn’t sound all that good since playoff teams are being decided using financial reasons. The Florida Firecats qualified for the final seed, but they owe the league $200,000 and the league isn’t exactly cool with that. So Florida out and the Albany Firebirds in. Good for Albany though its celebration may be short-lived. After all on Saturday it faces the dreaded Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Pioneers.

--The Marvin Harrison story continues to get crazier. ESPN the Mag with all the details. A bystander who was shot last year in whatever the hell happened filed suit against Marvin. This guy claimed to know nothing initially and then several days later said it was Marvin shooting up the street. The police believed him enough to put him in protective custody for a couple of weeks last spring. Anywho the guy Harrison was alleged to be firing at last year in that incident was murdered last week. Dwight Dixon was in his car a few blocks away from the car wash that Marvin owns and where last year’s shooting occurred when someone put 6 bullets in Dixon and the car. Somehow Dixon is still alive, but slipping in and out of a coma. He managed to tell police that he thinks this shooting is linked to last year’s, but there’s no proof. Yet. I mean something has to be up, right? Harrison admitted he and Dixon got into a verbal altercation before Dixon was shot at last year and Harrison’s rare gun casings were found at the scene and now this? Good luck finding a team Marvin and good luck escaping the wrath of Goodell.

Questions, comments or if you're considering Starz because of Party Down and this Spartacus: Blood and Sand...

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