Girls - to do the laundry. Girls - and in the bathroom.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Fantasy Football Insurance. Brilliant.

--Jordan Palmer is creating OchoCinco, among others, his own app?! Writing of Chad, good luck with your "fight" against Andre Berto. I don't think you want any of that.

--Big Lead with an all-WAG team that is worth a click and a look. Any reason to look at Abbey Clancy and Cheryl Cole…

--Not to ABC 13, it's pathetic enough you're not showing any games in HD this preseason. But out of any Texan who scores if it's David freakin' Anderson then don't take the camera off of him for a crowd shot. Stupid.

--Another Spawn movie? Thankfully one not related to that bastardized version 12 years ago. HBO should rerun Spawn just for fun. That was appointment television.

--"118-110 was Gale Van Hoy d*cking it to me. He bent me over and he f*cked me. Boxing has no f*cking integrity left. It's been happening for years. That's why this sport has no popularity left. That's why nobody watches this sh*t because every year there are decision like this and probably even worse than this. I don't really know how close this fight was. People get f*cked constantly."
I wish I knew how Paul Malignaggi felt about the state of boxing. Did he deserve to win? Maybe. But he didn’t deserve 118-110. Gale Van Hoy should never, EVER be allowed to “judge” a fight again nor should his children or his children’s children. Brutal. Close fight and it just depended on if you liked the harder punching of Juan or the pitter patter of jabs Paulie was throwing.

--The guy who played Sol Star on Deadwood is gonna join Lost?! Nice.

--Helluva job by Rick Bayless in taking home Masters honors. From beginning to end he deserved it more than anyone else. By the way, I’ve seen his awesome Frontera salsas at Kroger and Buffalo Market. $4 for salsa is a rip, but they are freakin’ awesome. Buffalo Market has his Frontera pizzas as well. Less than a month before I visit both Hubert Keller and Michael Chiarello’s restaurants in San Francisco and Napa not that I'm counting down the days and saving the pennies.

--As for this season I’ll take the MIT guy, Beardy/Kevin. Jen looks damn strong too.

--Congratulations go out to our alcoholic friends in Ohio. Liquor sales continue to increase, this time by over $32 million compared to last fiscal year. If you were wondering the top liquor seller was Kamchatka Vodka. Jack Daniel Black a close second. Third is Bacardi Light and then we finally get to my boy Jager.

--David Carr update from Giants QBs coach Chris Palmer who worked wonders with David down here of course:
"I'm not pleased with David right now. He's got to be more consistent. He's a quarterback. He's got to prove that he's a winning quarterback and there are certain things that he has to improve on. And I've told him that."

--It's surprising that a media organization hasn't decided to do this yet, but I guess you have to have some money (ESPN?) and motivation for all that is right (ESPN). SI is going to use the Freedom of Information Act to force coaches at public universities to publish their Coaches Poll ballots. Good idea. I want to know who to thank for tossing a vote UH's way.

--One Top 25 UH isn't going to find itself on is the 25 Most Douchiest Colleges. I thought Texas would be higher than 24th. I woulda picked Notre Dame for #1 (Sorry Sean), but the Irish are 15th. Brown alum John Harris should be proud to find his alma mater at the top. By the way, that link is a f'n slideshow and I hate f'n slideshows.

--Teacher/student sex stories have become so typical that it takes something extra now to set it apart from the rest. This one takes place in the land of dirty basketball players – Salt Lake (like you needed me to tell you). A junior high, special ed teacher, Melissa Andreini, had a relations relationship with a 15-year-old boy. Boy’s mom found out and confronted teacher who admitted sexytime. Turns out she also paid the boy on three separate occasions after she and him knocked boots (shout to Candyman) at her house. So the boy got paid around $1500 in all to keep quiet or because he was just that good. Cops still don’t know why she paid him. This was at Helper Junior High which also has another sexual misconduct investigation going on with another teacher. Are we sure this isn't Tilghman Middle School?

--If you were wondering Stefania Fernandez is our new Miss Universe making it 87 straight victories for female earthlings. The cylons will run this contest once they come back. You need to know that this is the first time a country, in this case Venezuela, has won in consecutive years.

--Congratulations to Green Bay which in year 2009 just hired its first black police officer.

--So Roger’s daughter’s wedding day is November 23, 1963? That should be a rather memorable couple of days. If you remember correctly that’s when Dr. Who debuted on BBC. If you were alive at that time I think you remember where you were at when that happened. This just in….Mad Men is a damn good show. All the Madison Square Garden/Diet Pepsi-Patio stuff was just great. Although enough talking about Jane, when do we get to see her lovely self again?

--Megan Fox to host Saturday Night Live’s season premiere?

--Jon Gruden on MNF is a good thing.

--PC virus thy name is Jessica Biel? She overtook Brad Pitt for celebrity most likely to F up your computer according to McAfee. Apparently when you go Biel you have a one in five chance landing at a site that has tested positive for PC-STDs. Beyonce has finished second two years in a row now.

--Can we get some Evan Rachel Wood on True Blood already?

Questions, comments, or if remember the first quarter of the Mug Awards and that’s about it…