Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Lookin' for a girl I ran into a guy. His name is M.C.A., I said, "Howdy" he said, "Hi"

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Natalie Portman makes a Top Chef appearance next season and that's a very good thing. As is her leading female role in Thor.

--Hong Kong Phooey the cartoon = great.
Hong Kong Phooey
the live-action movie = oh dear God


--I’m just about to wrap up Season 2 of The Wire so I guess I’m step closer to being introduced to Marlo Stanfield. Apparently the actor Jamie Hector and friends are well known to certain people in Brooklyn who shot up Jamie and his wife’s baby shower. Following a guy you shot to the hospital to finish the job is so very Wire.

--My only complaint about UFC 100 was we didn’t get to see enough of the fights that weren’t on the televised card. Especially since there were a ton of names and by all accounts the fights were strong. I can’t believe Stephan Bonnar got beat down by Mark Coleman. Bye, bye Bonnar. I think that’ll be the last time for quite a while that Jon Jones isn’t part of the televised card. Although we’d have to wait a long time for this, Brock v. Shane Carwin would be freakin’ awesome. And okay GSP we get it, now move up in weight.

--Vanessa Hudgens is getting her stripper role out of the way early because you're not really an actress until you've stripped. Am I right Ms. Lohan? Ms. Biel?

--Wait, Lauren Conrad has been atop the NY Times best seller list for two weeks in a row?! What the hell did I miss?

--I can’t stand people who walk and text….if they suck at it. 15-year-old Alexa Longueira sucks at it. She was in Staten Island texting a likely life-changing message when she took a step into an uncovered sewer manhole. Apparently workers were in the process of getting some cones to put around the hole because the fact that it was a gaping hole in the sidewalk wasn’t warning enough. She suffered some scrapes and that’s about it. Of course, the parents will be filing a lawsuit because of this atrocity which Mom describes, "Oh my God, it was putrid. One of her sneakers is still down there."

--If Tony and Jessica can’t make it what hope do the rest of us have?

Better days.

--After the Home Run Derby we know one thing for sure, no one, and I mean no one, likes Chris Berman on that broadcast. The only guy who has been more unlikable over the past week is Brock. What I hate more than anything? That stupid ass ball tracker tail type thing. That and the eight hours it took. HR Derby is on life support.

--There’s a reason there’s not a Sex Games Tennessee show. Rebecca Bargy and her husband decided to get a little freaky so she tied him up and gagged him…and then left him alone in their mobile home (shocking I know). Husband suffocated. Wife went off on Internet date and didn’t come back for 20 hours. Boom, 18 months is jail for wifey.

--This six fighter super middleweight tournament that Showtime is putting together is a damn good idea and hopefully starts a trend in boxing. The boxers will initially go through a round-robin group stage a la The World Cup. Points for a win and bonus for a knockout as the group gets pared down to four who will fight a single elimination tourney to determine the super middleweight champ. The six who are in are Mikkel Kessler, Carl Froch, Jermain Taylor, Andre Ward, Andre Dirrell and Arthur Abraham.

--Your Crazy Wal-Mart Customer of the Week comes to us from Port Angeles. ‘Twas there that 37-year-old Teresa Dumdie was a little upset at a cashier who accidentally sold her the wrong kind of ammunition for Teresa’s Sweetness. So Teresa started cursing at the cashier and, in general, being a loud bitch about it all. So some customers tried to tell her to calm down. BIG mistake. Teresa got a refund on the ammo, walked out to her car, grabbed her .22 and waited for those customers to tell her to calm down now. For some strange reason the police were called and Teresa was arrested. Hopefully this won’t prevent her from legally owning a gun because she gives gun owners a good name.

--So it’s Jackie Chan joining Will Smith’s son in the Karate Kid remake? Just another in a long line of unnecessary remakes. Twenty five years later it holds up on its own greatness. And good luck trying to match that soundtrack.

--Someone named Jessica Raffa was dropped during rehearsal on Australia’s version of Dancing with the Stars, which must be far superior to our version since Jessica’s partner who dropped her is, you know, blind.

--I may stop dry heaving at the mention of Jon & Kate if Jon is going to start doing things like date Kate’s plastic surgeon’s 22-year-old daughter.

--Fallon “Slow Jamming the News” = ehh.
Auto-tuning the News = awesome.


--You thought Michael Vick mistreated dogs, holy crap Vick ain't got nothing on David Santuomo. Dude is a firefighter in Ohio who was going to go out on a vacation, but couldn't afford to board his dogs. So what to do, what to do? This piece of crap tied his two dogs up on a pole and promptly emptied 11 shots from a .22 caliber rifle into them. Then a-hole wrapped the carcasses in plastic and dumped them behind his firehouse. Classy. David was so classy that he actually bragged about doing all this which disgusted his fellow firefighters and prompted an investigation. He tried a lie and that didn't work so he faces a few months in jail (to be served in 10-day increments over two years?). As you might expect the fire department has received a ton of complaints wanting him fired immediately, which for whatever stupid reason hasn't happened yet.

--RIP Arturo Gatti...

Questions, comments or if you think you think the combination of Huynh to-go and NCAA 2010 is going to occupy the rest of your week…

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:48 PM

    Well I am not sure what Sean's problem is...but the Wire is far superior to the Sopranos and I like the Sopranos. You have so much more to go on the Wire...and you haven't even gotten to the best season. You need to lock it down on the weekends and watch as many seasons as you can before football starts...

    And real quick...I read the dog story...and uhh...where is the public outrage and PETA on this?? I mean firefighters are put up there on par with police officers in terms of receiving love from the public...so how is it this guy still has his job and not had PETA camped out on his front lawn???

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  2. I'm gonna easily whip through all The Wire by football season.

    As for PETA, well this guy's front lawn isn't covered by television cameras so where is PETA supposed to grandstand and who for? How that guy remains employed is just beyond me, but I assume it's union-related.

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  3. I can see why a live action remake of Hong Kong Phooey is in the works. Look at how successful and entertaining Alvin & the Chipmunks and Underdog were. just more proof that cocaine use is way too prevalent in Hollywood.
    My favorite complaint about Brock is seeing sports writers upset because Brock says he is going to have sex with his own wife. Really?? In the age of Steve McNair, Travis Henry, and countless others, there should be a parade that an athlete is boning his own wife. Plus, Sable is still pretty hot.
    Like Arn Anderson so wisely said, Shane Carwin be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

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  4. Brock may have offended Marc Mero. The beer thing was hilarious.

    What's sad is Chipmunks was even deemed sequel worthy. For shame David Cross, for shame.

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