Thursday, April 16, 2009

You got a dry Martini thinking you're cool. I'll take your place at the bar I smack you off your stool.

Good times.

It's Time....This Time For Real....Wait Where Are You Going? I said, "For Real"

Portland? Fine. Bring it. Of course it'd be nice to not have to go into the playoffs on such a down note after the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad 4th quarter in Dallas, but what are ya gonna do? Since when do the Rockets make things easy on themselves? It would have been nice to have homecourt and play the Hornets, but the Blazers will work too. Everyone is anointing Portland as the second coming and hell yeah that team is loaded with young talent, but this is their first dance. The Rockets have an obvious edge in experience, albeit bad experience. I'm just glad it'll be Oden and Przybilla against Yao and not some athletic 4 masquerading as a 5 who'd successfully front Yao non-stop. Let's be clear about this, fronting is for jerks. Where's the fun in beating the Rockets if you just expose them to their fronting kryptonite night after night? Bo-ring.

C'mon Yao this is your timme to put this team on your back and be the anchor from start to finish. For the love of Ron, stay with the offense my man. You're not a chucker. You're a HUGE part of a team that has faced nothing but disappointment over the last 10+ years. The team needs your will, your grit, your ability to say, "F***, no we ain't losing tonight!"

Knock 'em down Shane. Harass LaMarcus 24/7 Luis. Seriously, start prank calling him now. Steer the ship Aaron, destroy Blake as you see fit. Keep playing tough Kyle. Don't get lost on defense while maintaining that fearlessness on offense Von. Don't get shot Carl. DO NOT SHOOT IT Chuck. Let's go boys, It's Time, For Reals.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Erin Andrews is gonna be a sideline reporter on NCAA Football 2010? Nice.

--As always Jared will have the Brawl Sports Panel Predictions on UFC 97 up soon. The predictions won't be nearly as good as this....

--Nobody watched it, but Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles gave us a helluva season finale. It's set up for a fantastic third season, but likely won't get it. Brian Austin Green bit it and now apparently is trying to land the Green Lantern role.

--Isiah Thomas coaching Florida International? Yeah, that's about right. ROFLMAO at the AD answering a question about that multi-million dollar sexual harassment judgment calling Isiah a "great husband" and a "successful father." Ummm, successful fathering is overdosing on sleeping meds and then claiming it wasn't you who overdosed, but your 17-year-old daughter?!? By that logic Isiah was also a "successful" owner of the entire CBA, "successful" Knicks general manager, and "successful" Knicks head coach. And I'm a "successful" sports talk host.
FIU: The 'I' stands for Dumbass.

--Jennifer Jason Leigh as Nancy Botwin's sister on Weeds next season? Perfect.

--Padres closer Heath Bell saying what every player thinks, "I truly believe ESPN only cares about promoting the Red Sox and Yankees and Mets - and nobody else. That’s why I like the MLB Network, because they promote everybody. I’m really turned off by ESPN and ‘Baseball Tonight.’ When Jake Peavy threw 8 1/3 innings on Saturday, they showed one pitch in the third inning and that was it. It’s all about the Red Sox, Yankees and Mets." And MLB Network has Mitch Williams. Done and done.

--If there's one magazine spread you check out this week make it Allure's. Although putting other women in the issue beyond Padma is mean to them. Almost nothing compares. I've occassionally watched two minutes of Chelsea Lately, but would make it five minutes if she wore her Allure outfit.

--If there are two magazine spreads you check out this week make the second GQ's with Evan Rachel Wood.

--Note to those of you who enjoy shipping marijuana by the pound in television sets. Using Tabasco sauce in between the cellophane does not, I repeat, does not negate the pot smell. It just smells like spicy marijuana.

--You have to be a special kind of di** to get banned at not one, but both Detroit casinos. Congratulations A.I., you're having a fantastic year!

--Do ESPN's BottomLine really need to run the details of Mark Fidrych dying due to suffocation caused by his clothes getting stuck on a spinning part of his truck he was working on?

--Mindless, yet awesome entertainment thy name is Deadliest Warrior on Spike. If you're keeping score at home it's Apache over Gladiator and Samurai over Viking. Next week is strong with Spartan vs. Ninja.

--A-Rod is dating, Bethenny Frankel, a Real Housewife of New York? Yeah, that's about right.

--Um Hulkster I'm not sure you want to be saying stuff like this during your divorce or really ever: "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it."

--More Than a Game centered around LeBron and the other four starters with him at St. Vincent St. Mary is supposed to be very strong.

--Just about everything on HBO is really good. Every sports documentary is gold so obviously Thrilla in Manila is out-f'n-standing! And one thing is obvious, Ferdie Pacheco needs to be back on TV now! He = Krazee.

--John Salley owns a Soul Vegetarian restaurant in Chicago?!

--Will Ferrell on Man vs. Wild next season is very promising. Writing of Will he'll be on the May 9th SNL season finale.

--If you miss Keshia Knight-Pulliam you can catch up with Rudy on her own reality show on Oxygen. I don't see why people are going to watch her and her live-in boyfriend who seem to have a pretty good life.

--Apparently Jack Bauer will heart NYC come season eight. Wait, so he lives?

--Usain Bolt doesn't need no stinkin' dollar bill to roll a joint. He told SI: "In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too -- but I was real young then." He went on to lie and say he doesn't hang out with people who smoke, but c'mon you're in Jamaica so just stop. The reporter met him at some club there and Usain drank Guinness mixed with Red Bull. I don't care how fast that combination may make me the only thing that goes with Red Bull is Jager and vice versa.

Questions, comments or if you can't decide which beer to go with during the Rockets playoff run...


  1. Brock Sampson6:11 PM

    That Gina Carano gif hypnotized me. I think I watched it for 2 minutes straight.

    If you like wheat beer, might I suggest Schneider Weiss. You can probably only find it at Specs, but it is mighty tasty (and don't ruin it with a lemon). Of course if they come back to H-Town 0-2 I'm switching to scotch.

  2. Anonymous6:45 PM

    Im your blog isnt on 1560 the games website its on 610's? whats going on man?

  3. i'm pretty sure that's why gifs were created. before you know it a half hour is gone, not wasted, just gone.
    i have the beer palate of a high school sophomore, but will give schneider weiss a try. back in the day it used to be amstel light because its colors were like the rockets back then. thanks for reading.

  4. the blog is on 1560's home page where all those icons are on the left side. chance spent hours, no days, creating the click-through for it.
    of course it's still on 610's site. they don't exactly have the smartest crew in charge of the website. on the other hand they do have the best program director in houston (at least that's what every other sports station says).


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