Friday, November 14, 2008

Which came first the chicken or the egg. I egged the chicken then I ate his leg.

Oh Boy, Look It's The Colts!

The Texans open up their second round of divisional games against Peyton and Co. at their stadium named after some oil company which bought the naming rights (where they found the money I don't know. I mean gas is so cheap they can't possibly be turning a profit). It's as much fun talking about gas prices as it is the Texans about now. The only thing the two have in common is they are both trending downward. For gas prices it's a welcome relief. For the Texans it's just business as usual. After all you can't play the Lions and Bengals all the time. If you forgot what happened to Houston in its first trip through the division let's recap: L, L, L. I think we all remember that 'L' to Indy at home. But hey Sage Happens. It happened all over Reliant last Sunday against the Ravens as he turned the ball over four times. Of course, the defense wasn't going to help out with a forced turnover themselves. The Texans have a horrific turnover ratio reputation to uphold. Houston is back on top or bottom of the AFC turnover ratio category with an impressive -12. There's really nothing positive to say about the club after an embarrassing home performance like that except at least they got garlic fries back at the stadium.

On the other hand there aren't a lot of negatives regarding the Colts after an impressive 24-20 win at Pittsburgh last Sunday. Peyton Manning tore up the Steelers for 3 touchdowns through the air including the game-winner to Dominic Rhodes with just over a couple of minutes to go. Not only was Peyton not picked off he was only sacked twice by the team that leads the league in sacks. Indy's defense has had Bob Sanders back the last couple of weeks and not surprisingly the rush defense has improved drastically. Indy stuffed Mewelde Moore three times at the one-yard line forcing a field goal before that final Peyton TD. The secondary picked off Ben Roethlisberger three times. What I'm saying is the Texans are well on their way to another winless season in the division. Yay.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Family Guy spin-off Cleveland is being pushed back and won't debut this season.

--Just two more Shields left. How in the hell is Vic gonna get him and Ronnie out of the sh**? And dammit Corinne tell Vic what you've been up to!

--Ummmm, this is just a little disgusting and yes that's a real wildcat for that Kentucky fan who is always hard to shop for...

--Another day another WAG getting hitched. Page 3 girl Amii (because one 'i' is for ugly girls) Grove married Liverpool player Jermaine Pennant. They used to date before she busted him cheating on her via his closed circuit tv at his mansion. So how did they meet up again? Over her brother's grave, of course. Amii explains, “We went to visit Lee’s grave and I was kneeling down laying some flowers when Jermaine bent down next to me and asked, ‘Do you want to get married to me?’. I told him straight away that I did and asked, ‘So are we engaged?’ - and he said ‘yes’!”

--And you can now way goodbye to Mad TV.

--Did I really just see Guy Fieri on

--Showtime and Stan Lee are coming out with a gay superhero show?

--I don't think I've watched Inside the NFL since the 90s, but apparently Warren Sapp likes running his mouth. Shocking, I know. First he talked about the rumors that he's a diva ass on Dancing with the Stars.

SAPP: "I’ll tell you what. I have to be honest about the diva thing. I am a little eccentric at times. I like cold water and in California they like it room temperature. And as a 300-pound man I needed a little cold water. So they gave me a big cooler and they put “Warren’s Water,” so I guess that’s where they get that from. If a big fella needing cold water is being a diva, then diva I am."

Then he was asked about watching Keyshawn's A&E reality show about interior design (somehow not using Wex's title of Keys to the House):

SAPP: "Me, watch Keyshawn on an interior decoratin show? Keyshawn, I knew you were a bit**. And thanks for making it all clear."
Warren's dance partner the lovely Kym Johnson.

--Jeffrey Tambor says the Arrested Development movie is in fact going to happen. Not that we haven't heard this before. Either way it's better than him saying it's not going to happen.

--I missed Cheech & Chong while they were here a few weeks ago, but apparently a concert film is going to come out sometime.

--One thing the spate of dance-related movies in recent years has taught us is dance teams are kill or be killed. Along those lines we head to El Paso where Chapin High School's dance team made their traditional baked goods to exchange with Andress as is custom. Except Chapin laced their cupcakes and brownies with rat poison and bleach. I guess they were busted when all the dessert were white from the bleach. They were nice enough to include some laxative because if you've never tried to ummm, pass rat poison, well a little help is nice. The girls of Andress never ate the killer cakes.

--Michael Scott and Deputy Clementine Johnson/Winnipeg concierge?!

--Because you want to know who the top 10 hottest college football girlfriends are...although that picture of Tebow's girl has been around forever, so nothing new? Obviously Sam Keller is a lucky Arena baller...

--I've tried to get into 30 Rock before, but after a Night Court reunion and Scottie Pippen to Houston reference I think I'm in por vida.

--I wasn't down with the Tara/Mom/Voodoo storyline on True Blood until Tara took a knife to her demon. Damn that show is good.

--Holy crap, I'm so old that Chris Elliott has a daughter, Abby, who's going to be an SNL regular?! Call me stupid (again), but I liked Get a Life back in the day.

--As if the time change wasn't shock enough to the system now it's about time to deal with college basketball back...seriously, Kentucky and North Carolina on Tuesday.

--Gee what a surprise Desperate Housewives wants Sarah Palin to be a guest on the show.

Questions, comments or if you're not the killer, you're a shape-shifter...

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