Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg. He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Best part about my trip to New York besides the halibut belly I had at Mario Batali's Esca was getting to interview Bernard Hopkins. You never know what he's going to say next and if you heard the interview you've gotten confirmation that, "Humans can't fly." I'm looking at you Peter Petrelli. Nice effort from Roy Jones Jr. who lost to Joe Calzaghe. Never seen Roy bleed before and never seen a bad cut so poorly attended to.

--Support MMA. Vote UFC ring card girl Arianny Celeste as Maxim's Hometown Hottie. UFC 91 is gonna be on!

--And January 21st is when Lost returns with a two-hour premiere as well as a one-hour recap before the new episodes.

--Now that the divorce is done who (besides everyone) doesn't want to see Danny in dating reality awesomeness like The Next Mrs. Bonaduce?!

--Damages is back on January 7th. I can't imagine this season being better than last.

--On Black Sunday nothing was worse than the Dynamo being eliminated from the MLS playoffs. Let's celebrate a fun two year reign as champs with a look at Brazilian WAGs...


--Mickey Rourke and Evan Rachel Wood?!
She was outstanding in Across the Universe.

--Some politicians had good weeks last week. Some didn't. Falling into that category is Jersey City councilman Steve Lipski. He was at a Washington D.C. club listening to a Grateful Dead cover band. So to show his appreciation of the Grateful Dead cover band Lipski (standing on a 2nd floor balcony, mind you) proceeded to douse the below crowd with the goldenest of showers. Yeah, you get arrested for stuff like that.

--Nothing better than athletes trying to steal from Wal-Mart. We had that one basketball player last year who tried to rip off douche from Wal-Mart and on his getaway an old lady's thumb was severed. This particular story comes from Malik Alvin of the Binghamton basketball team. Malik decided he needed 36 condoms so he took two boxes and went into the restroom. He emptied one of the boxes into his front pockets, was confronted by security and chase ensued. Short chase that made it to the foyer before Malik ran into a 66-year-old woman sending her into a concussion I'm sure she enjoyed. To top things off Malik is a cousin of Walter Payton.

--Gilbert Arenas got the words Change We Believe In tattoed on his fingers on his left hand? Yeah, that's about right.

--Needless to say Jenaveve Jolie was the best thing about Entourage last week. You might remember from such films as Chop Shop Chicas, Latin Adultery 6 (why did 5 go away from the story 1-4 set up?), Internal Injections 4 and that's just cinematic classics from this year!
This looks like a funny scene.

--Watch for the Jaguars to go off on a long winning streak now that Jack Del Rio has banned MP3 players from the locker room.

--Your Creative Punishment of the Week comes to us from Alabama. 'Twas there Shawn Rider a pitcher for his Bevill Community College team missed a practice. Big mistake. Then he initially lied to the coach about his absence. Bigger mistake. The coach, Ed Langham, allegedly (and I use that term loosely since teammates back up Rider) told the kid to put on a catcher's mask, chest protector and kneel down 45 feet away from a pitching machine. Oh yeah, no gloves. Gloves are for sissies. So the coach loaded up the machine and repeatedly fired 80-90 mph fastballs. You'd never guess that there's now a lawsuit involved.

--Alicia Sacramone is gonna get a reality show?!

--I gave Little Britain America a shot and it sucked. I gave Summer Heights High a shot and it was fairly good stuff. Every scene with Jonah is going to be gold. Chris Lilley does a helluva job with his three characters.

--Anybody have $350 million Jerry Jones can borrow? Anybody have a good football team Jerry Jones and/or Bob McNair can borrow?

Questions, comments or if you ate at Mario Batali's Esca and Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill in New York last week...