Friday, June 20, 2008

And Now I'd Like To Pass The Mic To The A

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Weeds' Season Four season premiere set a ratings record for most watched Showtime premiere ever. Sorry Season Two premiere of Dexter, you're # 2. Also apparently some talk about a Weeds spin-off featuring Conrad.

--Note to NBA marketers: Loved the "Where _____ Happens" spots all season long. How could you not? But showing a bastardized version after the Celtics win was stupid. I didn't need to see a bunch of staged pictures of Boston fans celebrating a title. Weak.

--What the f*** did you do Jesse?! What an absolute meathead. And yet I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Oh well, I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Jesse. How awesome and resilient was Amir against CB? Great stuff from one tough m'fer in Amir. I was a bit surprised how much trouble Tim gave CB in the semifinal. CB v. Amir - Part 2. I'll take Amir. Other fights on the card include Tim against Cale Yarbrough. Dean Lister v. Jeremy Horn. Loser Leaves First Name match between Matt Brown and Matt Arroyo. Matt Riddle opposite Dante Rivera. Diego Sanchez takes on Luigi Fioravanti. The main event gives us Kendall Grove and Evan Tanner. The veteran Tanner has lost three of his last four matches. Kendall is looking to bounce back after two straight losses including a disappointing one last time out to Jorge Rivera.

--Megan Fox spoke with MTV about what Transformers director Michael Bay says to her for direction, ""His main note to me is just to look hot; so I try my best." That, my friends, is a director who gets it.

--By the way, Friday at midnight Spike will show a preview of the UFC 2009 game.

--I've never been a fan of mixing events with music groups except when Nitro would put on The West Texas Rednecks and they'd do "Rap is Crap." Ah I miss Barry Windham and Curt Hennig RIP. Where was I? Oh yeah, Megadeth is gonna perform at the Affliction PPV.

--The American Film Institute comes out with lists like well....something that comes out with a lot of lists (seriously start using your own analogies, i'm sure they're much better than anything I could come up with). At #10 we get Jerry Maguire, which I never saw and don't consider a "sports movie" though I have a feeling that'll often be the case for this list. Checking in at 9 is National freakin' Velvet. I have no idea what that's about, but I think a horse is involved and it took place in 1945 so yeah, this list sucks. And yet we continue with # 8 being Breaking Away. I've only seen bits and pieces, but I can't dog on a movie with the likes of Dennis Quaid and Jackie Earle Haley. Caddyshack is 7, but I don't think of it as a sports movie. At 6 The Hustler, great movie? Love Bull Durham at 5. In case you forgot what Crash believes in:
"Well, I believe in the soul, the co**, the pu***, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." At #4 we have the legend known as Jimmy Chitwood and Hoosiers though any scene involving Barbara Hershey shoulda been cut, no disrespect. #3 we find The Pride of the Yankees. I'm not gonna complain about anything involving Lou Gehrig. I think boxing makes the best sports movie and we have two at the top. Number 2 we get Rocky...the first one not IV, which is simply my personal favorite. And the Number 1 sports movie of all-time according to AFI is....wait for it....Raging Bull. What an awesome, awesome movie. I didn't see it until last year, but was blown away. Just great stuff from everyone from De Niro to Pesci to Moriarty to Coach from Cheers.

Just taking a look around at some of the other genres The Searchers checks in at # 1 for Westerns. Love The Searchers, looks phenomenal on Blu Ray, but what doesn't? I probably would have had Unforgiven at #2 instead of 4. The Wild Bunch is strong and was 6th.

In the Animation category there's no Akira so I'm guessing no anime is gonna knock off Disney. #1 was Snow White. Am I crazy for putting Finding Nemo (10) over Shrek (8)?

Back to the Future checks in at 10 in Sci-Fi. Love Blade Runner at 6. At #4 A Clockwork Orange, which is kinda a crazy movie. ET at 3 with Star Wars at 2. The #1 Sci-Fi movie of all-time is 2001: A Space Odyssey.

--Because if you take Anne Hathaway add in a little Steve Carell and toss with Stephen Colbert you get quality entertainment...By the way anyone else heard the rumor that Colbert would guest on The Office as the Gould in Jan Levinson-Gould?

Woohoo sideboob! (grow up danny)

--Every once in a while we hear about some expensive ass burger that's topped with gold flakes and truffles and blah, blah, blah. But I wasn't expecting one of these burgers to come from Burger King. A BK in London has a $200 burger. Here we go: Japanese wagyu beef, white truffles, with onions fried in Cristal (how has a rapper not done this already), and it's topped with Himalayan pink rock salt. And because you just spent $200 on a freakin' burger you also get a complimentary glass of wine. Wait, Burger King has wine?! On the plus side The King is giving all the sales of the burger to a children's charity.

--Those of you with daughters should probably stop reading now. Those of you with daughters in the Gloucester, Mass. area, well good luck. At Gloucester High 17 girls are pregnant with none of those girls being over the age of 16 and most of those girls getting pregnant on purpose. Apparently these girls made an agreement to get pregnant with one girl going as so far to be impregnated by a homeless guy. For some crazy reason these girls who lack any type of love in their lives think that by having a baby they'll have someone to love them unconditionally. Yeah, this is not good.

--Really? Roger Clemens sold a Bentley to Bret Michaels?!

--Your Dead Dumbass of the Week comes to us from the Dallas area. Shocking I know. Cameron Sands who was all of 19 years old so maybe he missed that day of crime school when the teacher told the class to be careful in a home invasion that once you kick in the door use extreme caution in taking the gun out of your waistband. Cameron broke down the door and as he was taking his gun out of his waistband he shot himself in the stomach. Yeah, chances are that hurt because Cameron stumbled outside and police found him dead a few houses away.

--If you somehow played extremely close attention to the Astros and Orioles Wednesday night maybe you noticed when Kevin Millar came up to bat the awesome stylings of "Ice Ice Baby." Apparently he lost an NBA Finals bet with Jason Varitek with the loser coming out to ' that's a punishment.

--Our Attempted Pet Attack of the Week comes to us from Bridgeport, Connecticut. It was at an apartment complex there that a girlfriend didn't take kindly to her boyfriend's threats. Granted her boyfriend's threats were along the lines of, "my albino python is gonna squeeze your fat ass until you don't make so much noise that I can't hear my Rock of Love" (I'm just guessing here). But yeah, the whining girlfriend called the police (seriously just leave him). So the police were let in the door by the landlord and the boyfriend, Victor Rodriguez, decides it's a good time to introduce the cops to his albino python. So Victor yells at his python, "Get him!" Yeah, turns out, pythons don't play that sic 'em sh**.

Questions, comments or if you wish it was socially acceptable to punch the jerk who insists on getting on the elevator before everyone inside gets out...

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