Friday, May 09, 2008

If You Can Hear What I'm Dealing With Then That's Cool At Least

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Hey WTA stop f'n around with Miss Sharapova! The WTA want Maria to participate in a photo shoot before The Italian Open next month. She doesn't want to because one of her rules to live by is not to participate in a shoot so close to an event. So what does the WTA do to its most marketable player? Threaten a $700,000 fine of course. Good move WTA, piss off one of your few stars who is saying what the other stars have long been thinking. So in summary the WTA sucks and Maria Sharapova is hot.

--Ryan Seacrest is closer to taking over for Larry King?!

--If you've been thinking about buying some Super Bowl ad time for 2009 the price is expected to be $100,000 a second for a 30-second spot. I'll do the math for you, that's $3 million. Last year it was $2.7 million a spot and what a colossal waste of money those ads were.

--I think Food Network has waaaaay too many new shows and please stop with the Next Food Network Star shows. Those people make the Hell's Kitchen cooks look like Top Chefs. Having said that Food Network MUST pick up Charles Oakley's cooking show he's been shopping around titled "Cafe Oakley." Who doesn't want to know the recipe for Oak's Smothered Steak and Rice.

--As soon as the next writer's strike happens I'm definitely buying The Wire Season 1 and starting from there. Those of you who have seen it the kid who played Michael is the male lead on the new 90210. That's right a black guy on 90210 which originally was nearly as white as Seinfeld.

--Eko as Heavy Duty is a good thing. Whether or not the movie will be good Some other Joes and Cobras there.

--If you're keeping score at home Jonah Hill and Teresa Palmer now off of Transformers 2.

--Speaking of sequels, one that seems unnecessary especially considering how they're looking to pull it off. Donnie Darko (my hands down #1 movie of all-time) will be without Donnie and without Richard Kelly and so without me. This story apparently will begin 7 years after the original ended with the youngest daughter, Samantha now 18,ditching Sparkle Motion and heading to Vegas with a friend when she starts getting some visions. From the original cast apparently Samantha will be the only one reprising her role.

--Jayde Nicole is your 2008 Playmate of the Year.

--Your f'd up stoners who give stoners a bad name come to us from Humble. There three idiots had a great idea for a bong....a human skull. So these dumbasses went to a Humble cemetary, dug up someone's grave, decapitiated the head and allegedly made a bong out of the skull. Sick f****.

--If you haven't seen the outstanding Eva Mendes pictures in Vogue Italia you really need to brush up on your Internets skills.

--Reason #52 why you should take your lunch to school....At Winfield High in Kansas some punk ass senior wanted to act like a punkass freshman. On a Wednesday, the 30th of April, the punk went into the boy's room and came out with his pee in a cup. Then he dumped his pee cup into a school ice machine. Thankfully the ice machine was only used by teachers, students, and the athletic department which used it for a tennis tournament the next day. It wasn't until the following Monday that some students who saw the punk senior do this came forward.

--Your piece of crap college football player of the week comes to us from Florida. Jamar Hornsby was busted for credit card fraud and theft. This jerky was using the credit card of a female student, Ashley Sonnina, who passed away last year in a motorcycle accident. Same accident also claimed the life of Gator player Michael Guilford. Apparently Jamar got the card because he was one of the people who cleaned out Ashley's apartment the day after her death. He started using Ashley card that day and continued using it for months.

--The cast of Heroes continues to grow...Bruce Boxleitner (Scarecrow and Mrs. King, he was the Scarecrow I presume) will join the show as a Senator.

--In a decision that was easy to make, but still took forever AMC is giving Breaking Bad a full thirteen episode second season. Bryan Cranston = Emmy.

--I never watch, but Steve Carell hosting the SNL season finale is very promising. Office finale next week. Is Andy getting close to Schrute status?

--Note to LeBron: When keeping a restaurant open until 3:45 AM with your dining party and you rack up an $800 tab you must leave a minimum, a MINIMUM of $160 tip. Not, I repeat NOT $10.

--Antonio Pierce interned at Howard Stern's show in this offseason?!

--This summer VH-1 will be bringing us I Love Money which will feature some of the skanks from Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, and I Love New York competing in various challenges.

Questions, comments or if you remember that night you dropped and scaled the Miller Outdoor Theater...

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