Monday, February 11, 2008

Barack on 8-0 Run; Rockets on 7-0 Run, Kings Realize They Have No Chance

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--You'll never guess which major sport people say is their favorite sport according to the latest Harris poll? Oh wait, you did. NFL first and then MLB followed by college football and auto racing. I assume the NBA is somewhere on the list perhaps behind competitive eating and figure skating.

--Speaking of figure skating a HUGE thank you to Chronicle waste of space David Barron who continues to bash Friday Night Lights for no reason except he's out of touch with no discernible sense of entertainment and humor. It's very simple, entertaining, funny, popcorn television at its finest. Critics love it and hate NBC for mismanaging it (honestly let's put a show about high schoolers on Friday when high schoolers are at football ga...wait). Anyway in his worthless weekly TV/Radio notebook (which rarely mentions radio despite four freakin' sports stations) he pointed out an inaccuracy in a show two weeks ago. Imagine that an inaccuracy on a television drama! Coach Taylor told his team that it'd be the first team in Texas football history to win the championship and not make the playoffs the following season. Thankfully Barron pointed out that Coach Taylor is a liar and Barron used an example from the 70s, which may have well been the 40s. I mean who freakin' cares? Imagine that, television does not always equal reality. Crazy. Soon he'll point out that there is no Dillon, Texas and no Dillon High School and no TMU so how could it offer a scholarship to Smash? Wait has there ever been a Texas RB named Smash Williams. That might be false. Has any school had two world class hotties like Lyla and Tyra along with a hot counselor like Coach's wife? Please clear this up Barron, we need you now more than ever. So petty about a show that he supposedly hates. Stop watching it! Stop commenting on it! Although it was extremely unrealistic that the very religious boy didn't smash Lyla right then and there when she took off her jacket. Ain't no guy turning down Lyla...

--Apparently because of some GM work that Will Arnett once did he can't be the new voice of K.I.T.T. since it's a Ford. So now we get Val Kilmer. I'll watch every week if K.I.T.T. sounds like Doc Holliday.

--Honestly U2 3D IMAX was just as religious experience as any live U2 concert I've ever been to. Just incredible, incredible stuff. If you're a U2 fan and you don't see it, you aren't really a U2 fan.

--I don't know what we're counting down to, but it feels like a Chris Berman advent calendar with a new video coming out each day. Awesome...

Dude knows his wine...

--According to the always reliable Page 6 we're "going to be blown away" with the lesbian sex scene between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen's next movie.

--Just in time for Valentine's Day we have this love story that played out in Italy. In Vicenza a butcher by the name of Antonio de Pascale fell for a 13-year-old girl. They had a love affair for the ages until those meddling authorities got involved. The guy's lawyers argued for leniency from the court because there was a "deep tenderness" between the pair and the guy "had fallen head over heels in love with her." The court agreed and only gave this guy a year and four months and since there's general amnesty for sentences under three years dude probably won't do any time at all. Once again he = 34, she = 13. A judge in Rome actually said, "Every relationship is a relationship and the real maturity, whether physical or psychological, of the minor must be weighed, with the help of experts" and that the law in these cases "must look to be reasonable." WTF?! Sounds like Chris Hansen and Dateline need to take a road trip.

--Remember scrub pitcher Lary Sorensen from back in the 70s and 80s? He used to be a Tigers broadcaster and right now he's likely still drunk from his recent bender. Back on February 2nd, a mere two days from Danny's birthday, Lary was found parked on the shoulder, slumped over the steering wheel. The cop hammered on the window, but shhhhh, Lary (with one 'r') is sleeping. Cop called emergency medical services and finally Lary woke up and unlocked the door. EMTs took Lary to the hospital because dude had severe alcohol poisoning. His BAC was .48. On they have an all-time BAC level leaderboard among athletes and Lary is now #1!!!! and No. 4....and No. 5....and No. 15. Yeah, what I'm saying dude enjoys his alky-hol. This was his seventh, SEVENTH! arrest for drunk driving! He's done some jail time including some boot camp style stuff to only serve the minimum. But obviously guy has a major, major drinking problem. He might get really f'n lucky though. When he was found, the car's engine was off and there was no key in the ignition so there may not even be charges. But seeing how he was still on probation I imagine he's in a bit o' trouble. As for the insane .48...A doctor at the Center for Alcohol Studies at Rutgers said, "That's what we call an 'LD-50' -- a level that's above the lethal dose for 50 percent of the population." That's impressive.

--Grammys....I'm not sure why Stormy Daniels is at the Grammys, but I'm not complaining (remember when Stormy shocked the world and won the AVN Best Supporting Actress Award in Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre?)
E and Stormy

....Because I don't keep up with the kids' music I was unaware of just exactly who Delilah was, but that is a pretty cool story behind the song and having Delilah there was pretty strong and of course, she's hot. Though weird she's not dude's girlfriend or anything, but nice that he kept his promise and took her to The Grammys...Obviously I love the Beasties, but I've heard zero of their Best Pop Instrumental Album The Mix-Up...Icky Thump won so most is right with the world...Vince Gill diggin' at Kanye after Ringo handed Vince a Grammy, "I can't believe a Beatle handed me a Grammy. Hey Kanye, has that happened to you yet?"...Oh hell yeah, it's good to see The Time back at it. How do you not love Morris Day?...Obviously I'm not one for shows or Cirque, but Beatles Love is the greatest live show not involving U2 I've ever witnessed...I cannot wait to watch Across the Universe on Blu-Ray...Yeah, if you combine Kanye and Daft Punk live it's pretty much all downhill from there. I cannot f'n wait to see Kanye and Lupe here in May! You probably don't have a soul if you didn't cry during Mama

...Tina Turner?! Jerry Lee Lewis?! Unless Chris Hansen is interviewing him I'm not interested...You have got to be f'n kidding me...Look no offense to Herbie Hancock, I mean they did do a whole series of movies around his car, but Album of the Year?! Anyone under the age of 50 have this album? I guess this is just to inspire Kanye to create another f'n masterpiece in the hopes the old m'fers on the voting committee recognize a true Best Album.

--Milwaukee is the new Detroit. It had three separate shootings early Saturday morning killing 11 people in all. All that in a span of 90 minutes.

--Karolina Kurkova is your Cover Girl in the G.I. Joe movie which I think literally has a cast of thousands.

--Nice job America, last week I heard none other than Gene Shalit (yes, still alive) absolutely dog Fool's Gold. However, it did score an impressive 10% on RottenTomatoes. Because you won't go to RottenTomatoes, let me relay some of the comments...
Bob Strauss: "The best thing you can say about Fool's Gold is that it gets less bad as you go along."
Peter Sobczynski: "It was co-written by the authors of Anaconda 2..." I'll just stop there...
Elizabeth Weitzman: "Nothing about the movie is memorable, unless you happen to be McConaughey's undoubtedly proud personal trainer."

--Because many times I'm late on shows, AMC has been replaying Season 1 of Mad Men and the first two episodes were good, but I was still wondering about why all of the hype and Golden Globe. That was two episodes ago and since then that show has been absolute money. Who didn't smoke back then?

--That first half of the friendly between Mexico - U.S. last week was great stuff and not very friendly.

--You know you're listening to a story about an obese person when you hear the reporter say, "For the first time in years (dramatic pause) she could wear jogging pants."

--I don't think I've watched since 1984, but HBO is cutting its ties with Inside the NFL. Apparently another network is going to pick it up. Why? I have no idea, but it needs Emmitt. Every pre and post game show needs some Emmitt.

--Only time will tell if Senator Arlen Specter is going to get anything good out of the Spy-crap and the NFL. But in the biggest no-brainer he's introducing a bill to allow churches to hold Super Bowl viewing parties. This is one instance where the league is just being beyond stupid threatening that churches showing the game on big screens would be violating copyright law.

--Our Dallas dumbass of the week comes to us from...well, Dallas. Johnny Marlowe is our sicko. This freak is an admitted polygamist and his legal wife and whatever he calls the other one each had a baby boy back in 2005. Because Johnny doesn't like hospitals he took it upon himself to give the boys circumcisions when they were 8 days home....with a utility knife (expect to see that be advertised as a tool on Swiss pocket knives). He was already in jail for resisting a public officer and now that this information has come out I'm thinking Johnny boy should stay there for a while longer and maybe see how a utility knife wielded by a freak feels to his little johnny. Oh yeah, this was in Dallas, North Carolina not Dallas, Texas. Even Dallas, Texas doesn't have sickos like this guy.

--R.I.P. Roy Scheider.
Absolutely loved 52 Pick-Up and though I never saw Night Game I'm sure I was in the crowd shot at some point it was filming at the Dome.

Questions, comments or if you the best meal you ever had was at The Oceanaire (and maybe part of it was you didn't have to pay)...

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