Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Like Sam the Butcher Bringing Alice the Meat...RIP Sam the Butcher

Some people are taking the Cowboys' loss harder than others...

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Seriously the Patriots are 18-0 and yet I think the Giants have more momentum and are the hotter team. Crazy. Crazy as New England as two TD favorites.
Tom Coughlin wasn't looking so good.

--Mrs. Randy Couture, Kim, is gonna make her MMA debut next month?!

--UFC Fight Night 13 sounds strong. It's coming up on April 2nd before the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 7. Kenny Florian vs. my boy Joe Lauzon is the main event. Stephan Bonnar and Matt Hamill also going at it as well as Karo Parisyan and Thiago Alves. If you forgot Quinton Jackson and Forrest Griffin are the coaches for the upcoming season.

--Since it came out I've tried to keep a running tab on all of the lawsuits Borat was facing. One has been settled by the Alabama Supreme Court. Score one for Borat against the woman he so generously offered a bag of feces to at the dinner table. The justices, presumably all related, overruled a lower court decision saying that etiquette teacher Kathie Martin can't sue in Alabama because she signed an agreement stating only New York courts could hear disputes that arose from her appearance.

--Maybe you remember on Kitchen Nightmares when Gordon Ramsay tried to help out Sebastian's in California. It was the restaurant managed by that idiot who had that ridiculous choose-your-own-adventure menu that had the potential for 10,000 different combinations. Anyway they're closing down and moving back to Brooklyn and supposedly he has some TV offer on the table.

--For the most part I like Rob Riggle, but these beer commercials ain't working at all.

--Biggest upgrade of the year: Ryan Reynolds goes from being engaged to Alanis Morisette to Scarlett Johansson. I mean I'm pretty sure Scarlett was never in a serious relationship with Dave Coulier.

--Fox probably could've worked in the return of 24 with Kiefer Sutherland getting out of jail after 48 days.

--I got free passes for Cloverfield so checked it out and I wasn't disappointed, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone because you might hate it like most of the crowd did. If you go in expecting answers and explanations you've obviously never watched Lost. It's a suspenseful monster movie that comes from one camera's point of view. A camera that is made out of titanium apparently. They could probably do five sequels from five more different point of views. The military's angle would be the one I'd most like to see.

--Kevin Garnett watches an hour of Family Guy before every game.

--Last week's Harris Poll gave us America's Top 10 Television Stars. This week's poll gives us the Top 10 Movie Stars. At #10 we get Bruce Willis (mental note: watch Die Hard 4 already). Number 9 is Sandra Bullock because well, hell I have no idea. I guess I underrated the Miss Congeniality franchise. We have a tie between James Bond the Connery one and Jason Bourne for 7th. Tiebreaker goes to whichever was in Rounders. John Wayne going strong at 6. Uh....I guess my dad voted in this. Will Smith at 5 though I'd thought he'd be top 3. Number 4 is Julia Roberts. Johnny Depp at 3. At 2 we find Eddie Murphy, not really, Tom Hanks at 2. Seriously Eddie your movies are crap and you got married for one whole week recently. Look in the mirror, what do you see? Be honest. The #1 favorite movie star is....Denzel.
One of these guys has an Oscar. The other does the best "Poison" dance ever.

--When you're hungry, you're hungry. In Nawlunz an 11-year-old boy was real f'n famished. Little man used a cell and called Domino's for $35 in pizza, cheesy bread and buffalo wings. So the driver pulls up and sees the boy in a car in the driveway and the boy starts questioning her about the order. She puts the order in her car to double-check it and the boy grabs it and the $250 heating bag ($250?!) and then pulls out a gun to complete the transaction. The cops got him and little man has a full stomach in juvenile.

--Ernest "The Cat" Miller is going to be in a major role opposite Mickey Rourke in a Darren Aronofsky movie?!

--We head to Clearwater, Florida for our little old lady story of the week. 75-year-old Jean Merola was at a McDonald's drive-through window and the workers told her to wait there for her food. Well she had some apparently famished cops behind her. Cop gets out tells the lady to pull her car up and she says no, that she's waiting there for her coffee and fries because that's what Ronald told her to do. Yep, that's an arrest. Disorderly conduct for her. Nice job, police. One more innocent, harmless 75-year-old woman behind bars.

--Pizza Hut is joining Papa Johns in taking orders via text message?! This will help America's obesity's problem.

--R.I.P. Heath Ledger.

Questions, comments or if your little brother suffered a perforated ulcer that ate through his stomach lining because he was popping Excedrin like I pop Altoids...

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