Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Like Fred Flintstone Driving Around with Bald Feet

Rule # 1 - If you see Chris Berman stand f'n still, moron!

My Favorite Basketball Player

David Harrison is a Pacer who likes his mar-a-ja-uana. Dude just got back from a 5-game suspension due to his third failed drug test. The other day he was on 1070 AM and Indy Cornrows was good enough to pull the best quote of this year and perhaps any other from an NBA player.

"I made a mistake and if that mistake costs me my career, then that's where we need to look. Look at what I did and look at what I lost. You know what I'm saying. Does marijuana, is it that bad? That's the question I really want people to ask themselves sometimes.Following rules blindly, doesn't mean you're right just by following those rules. There needs to be a just rule. I mean, a long time ago George Washington sat around, didn't want to pay taxes to the crown. There's other things going on, but the rudimentary part of our American revolution was we didn't want to pay taxes. And we broke that rule and we have America today. You know, if we would've lost that war, George Washington would be Benedict Arnold.You know, it's whoever wins, you get the praise. Nicotine won, the tobacco industry won. That's the thing, they wouldn't want marijuana to be legal. It causes less cancer and actually, I've read studies where in cities with very bad air polution like in Indiana, it helps protect you from lung cancer."

Hey Big Tobacco! Stop keeping good, all-natural, healthy marijuana illegal. Jerks. And honestly I know you can get medical marijuana for illnesses like glaucoma, but do doctors know it protects you from lung cancer?! Hell, that sounds like we all need a minimum of 3 bong hits a day just to make sure our lungs stay cancer-free. Makes sense to me. C'mon American Medical Association when are you gonna learn that High Times contains valuable, well-researched studies? Granted, David's points about the medical benefits and society's view of marijuana would ring hollow if not for the history lesson he also provided. George Washington was this (bring your index finger and thumb as close as possible without touching) close to being Benedict Arnold. Way to educate David.
This musta taken some time.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Gilbert Arenas and Mya?!

--Your hot piece of ass whose ass will now be expanding due to pregnancy is Gwen Stefani.

--David Harrison has to be loving any Pacers road trip to California now that it puts cannabis in vending machines.

--If you didn't know Jerramy Stevens is a piece of sh**.

--Your Dallas dumbasses of the week paid dearly for their dumbassery. Andreous Robinson was drinking with some friends when he decided to show off his pistol. Andreous went outside and shot off a few rounds in the air. Then he came inside and presumably thought he went through all the rounds so then he went back inside, put the gun to his head, and pulled the trigger. Yeah, he stopped being alive at that point. Probably a big downer at the party too. That was early Saturday morning in West Dallas. Early Friday morning four dumbasses were drinking vodka and smoking crack when one dumbass accidentally shot another one to death.

--Our non-Dallas dumbass of the week comes to us from Independence, Missouri. There Robert Macklin repeatedly asked his roommate to kill his friend's girlfriend. Why? Well because Robert likey his guy friend and they used to be together until that biyatch entered the picture. So the roommate alerted police and an undercover cop got in touch with Robert. Robert, apparently, doesn't have a lot of money so he offered the cop 90 Oxycontin pills to kill the girl. To show he was serious Robert put down a massive down payment of $5.

--Hottest female bodyguard ever...R.I.P.

--Congratulations America, Meet The Spartans is # 1. Sociey's downward spiral shows no signs of letting up.

--Finally Lost is back.

--Pros and Joes on Thursday night has Ricky Williams and Arturo Gatti. Crap, I may have to watch.

--The next Bond movie title will be Quantum of Solace. How could you have gone another day without knowing that? It comes out November 7th and this is one of the ladies, Olga Kurylenko.

--A good thing: AMC started rerunning Mad Men Sunday nights.

--I'm all for having FNL have Tyra jump up and down more, but please no more volleyball.
You da man Landry.

--Now there'll be something to visit in Milwaukee. They're putting in a statue of The Fonz. He'll join other bronzed TV legends residing in the cities who were the settings for the shows. Mary Tyler Moore's statue is on the exact spot where she threw her hat in the air in the opening. I never watched Bewitched, but Samantha has her statue in Salem, Mass. Newhart, Kramden and Andy Griffith have statues as well. Where will the statues of Street, Riggins, Saracen, Smash, Landry, Tyra and Lyla reside?

--The latest Fox abomination The Moment of Truth offered Roger Clemens $500,000 to go on?!

--Tell me Bobby Brown isn't gonna be in his own reality show chronicling his bid to become a country music star.

--To continue with awesome reality news apparently National Geographic is set to produce a reality show to show the rehabilitation process for the dogs Michael Vick owned. That'll be uplifting.

--Your life imitates art story of the week comes to us from Indiana. There two fourth grade boys were bored on flag duty and they must've just seen A Christmas Story. Victim # 1 Gavin Dempsey, "I decided to try it because I thought all of the TV shows were lies, but turns out I was wrong." Yeah, the boys went to the nurse and she asked them who double-dog dared who and they went with "we bit our tongues." Yeah, nurse wasn't buying it. She knew they unsuccessfully tongued the flagpole. So yeah, they lose a few layers of their tongue, but do get to eat a lot of ice cream so there ya go kids, sounds like a perfect plan to insure an ice cream diet. And hey kids, if you try it please make sure you get it on YouTube for everyone to enjoy.

--College Gameday = good. College Gameday commerials = distrurbing.

Questions, comments or if you need a drink...

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