Thursday, December 27, 2007

Now What's The Time?

8-8 or 7-9?

I'm not saying we should have a parade if the Texans win on Sunday and finish at .500 for the first time in franchise history. I am saying it's been one wild and for the most part entertaining ride. That's all I was asking for just to be entertained and despite the incredible amount of injuries this team suffered it gave us all it had. The bottom line is this team is still too talent-deficient to have made a serious run towards the postseason. Hopefully another good draft is in the offing along with some smart decisions on free agents. Hopefully Dunta can come back at corner without missing a beat and he and Fred Bennett are a good start at CB. Hopefully Mario can continue to become a monster that doesn't take plays off. Hopefully Matt will have an offensive line that'll keep him upright and hopefully Drayton Florence doesn't get a bitch ass cheap shot on Schaub again. Hopefully Chris Taylor can be the breakaway threat at RB Ahman was supposed to be. Hopefully the Andre Johnson plays 16 games and Andre Davis comes back. Hopefully Jacoby Jones puts this up, but mostly down year behind him and lives up to the promise he showed us in the preseason. Hopefully Amobi Okoye will contribute on a much more consistent basis. Hopefully Travis Johnson doesn't kill anybody in the offseason. Hopefully DeMeco gets some help at LB. Hopefully the Texans get moved out of the AFC South. What I'm saying is they still need a lot of things to go right in the offseason, but there is cause for hope.

Hilarious, on the first offensive play in history Paul Maguire talks about the incredible protection David Carr got.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Jim and Karen are together in real life?!

--Now let's talk Rockets....just kidding...

--Jay-Z is done at Def Jam?!

--Tis the season to get drunk off your ass. This 25-year-old guy did just that the other night in Bremerton, Washington. So dude goes to sleep with his 19-year-old ex-girlfriend and dude wakes up just after 2 AM needing to use the bathroom. Yeah, instead of opening up the bathroom door and relieving himself in the toilet, he opened the closet door and whatever was in there now smells like recycled Keystone Light. Then the guy is so embarrassed he wants to leave, but she won't let him because he's obviously drunk off his ass. So how did she decide to stop him? Yep, she beat his ass. At some point, some of her friends came over and a couple of guys vandalized the ex's car while the ex hid and then the police eventually showed up. The girl was charged with assault, mischief and unlawful imprisonment. She hoped the drunkard would come bail her out because they "always did what's best for their child."

--Jamie-Lynn didn't get pregnant by her 17-year-old boyfriend, but rather a "much older" producer of Zoey 101?!

--Gots to love Tennessee...There are changes afoot in that intelligent state. The Tennessee Judicial Council is thinking about getting rid of the requirement, yes this is a requirement by law, that requires potential jurors' names be drawn out of a hat by a child under the age of 10 or by a blindfolded adult. One word: Tennessee. They are also trying to get more of that Mensa population eligible for jury duty. Right now potential jurors can get out of duty if they are drunk or claim to be a "habitual drunkard." Some people have even gotten out of jury duty by presenting letters from their doctors stating that they're "drug addicts." One judge related a story that a potential juror said he had an alcohol problem and had been recently arrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover cop. The guy said, "I should have known something was up. She had all her teeth." Another potential juror said he was drunk and the judge called him on it and had him blow into a breathalyzer. That judge said, "He should have been passed out. It was so high." Finally, one guy was late and claimed he got lost when in fact he was so distraught because he is the Titans' # 1 fan and the loss the day before destroyed him. So the judge rescheduled him for the Monday after Tennessee's bye and the guy actually showed up. What I'm saying is Tennessee is one f'd up place.

--If there's a bigger waste of five minutes of television than The Hot Seat with Skip Bayless I don't know what it is.

--Next time you're in a bookstore grab The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything and check it out. Great concept for a book. Nothing but brackets for everything you can think of, but there's no way in the Best Jock Films bracket that Hoop Dreams beats Rocky to face Raging Bull in the finals. Of course, Raging Bull does win.

--Don't you wish The Good Shepherd was just a little bit longer?

--Not that you needed to be reminded, but UFC 79 is Saturday.

--If you're so inclined come February the Orange Bowl will have its public auction and you can get your own Orange Bowl urinal. The stadium seats will be sold online.
--When you have money you can do things like this...Christina Aguilera bought the Osbourne's house because she loved the kitchen.

--Your celebrity DUI arrest of the week was Mischa Barton.

--The Coens are working on a violence-filled spaghetti western?! Out-standing!

Questions, comments or if you know you're getting old because you actually like that you got a lot of framed maps and books for Christmas...

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