Wednesday, September 26, 2007

She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door


You cannot give enough credit to the players and coaches for battling through all the injuries and adversity to still give themselves a shot at the end of the game to beat the defending Super Bowl champions. But it was just too much to overcome. Now the tough part…going on the road and beating a team you are expected to beat despite all the injuries. A loss to the Falcons and that feel-good 2-0 start would be a distant memory. Nothing to it, but to do it.

--Hopefully Atlanta forgets for one more week that Jerious Norwood is its best back. Jerious is averaging 4.8 yds a pop while Warrick is at 3.5. Dunn has 55 touches for 203 yards. Norwood has touched the ball just 26 times, but has 166 yards. The Falcons D is 28th against the run, but 8th against the pass.

--I didn’t think the Titans were bad going into the season, but I didn’t think the defense would look this good. Those hillbillies have won 5 straight road games.

--I probably have two or three more weeks to feel good about my Super Bowl pick, the Steelers, so let me point out they’ve gotten to 3-0 by an average score of 32-9.

--The Chiefs have two touchdowns – not a surprise. The Rams have two touchdowns – WTF?!

--Back in the day the Eagles based those hideous looking uniforms and colors on the Swedish flag because???

--Tom Brady made it three straight games with just 6 incompletions in each. 10 TDs, 18 incompletions and a completion % of 79.5. Stoopid. The Patriots have scored points in 31 straight quarters dating back to last season.

--Seriously we’re going into Week 4 and LaMont Jordan and Jamal Lewis are 2-3 in rushing.

--Only one player in league history has gotten to 100 career receptions faster than Reggie Bush. That would be Anquan Boldin.

--He missed a week and yet Andre Johnson still has more receiving yards than either T.J. Housh@#$^ and Marvin Harrison.

--24 of Chad Johnson’s 25 catches have gone for first downs. The only player with 10 catches or more who has gotten a first down on every one? Calvin Johnson with 10 catches for 10 first downs.

--Rex Grossman and Tarvaris Jackson are the only QBs whose passer ratings are lower than their completions percentages.

--Ahman Green basically missed all of Sunday’s game and yet he’s still above LT and Larry Johnson on the rushing list. LT is averaging 2.3 yds a pop while LJ is getting 2.8.

--Maybe you’ve seen his drunken pictures around online, but no one takes a picture like Jeff Reed

--Note to Marshall Faulk, Howie Mandel is a germaphobe so when he offers to give you a fist bump instead of shaking hands take it and don't be a f'n jerk and touch him in the crotchal region.

--I’m sure you’ve seen it by now or heard it, but we're in overtime in a Saturday night SEC game between Georgia and Alabama and Bama just got a field goal and now Georgia is taking the field when Mike Patrick busts this out to Todd Blackledge...

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--“You cannot change the stripes of a leopard.” – Really, Emmett?! You meant to say that…three times?!

--A Meg White sex tape?! Apparently not.,0.jpg
--John Mayer and Minka Kelly?! Bret and now John have got it going on…

--Heroes is back, baby!
--Vince, Fred Claus? Really?

--Yeah, they can’t make a chip that doesn’t stain your fingers, but Collisions is the best Doritos idea since Cool Ranch.

--I had never given thought to how great my life would be if I was Matthew Modine and then a rain-soaked Mary Louise Parker sat on his desk, put a leg on each side of him and off went the panties. Yeah, she’s just a little hot as opposed to the freaky skeleton known as Mary-Ashley (it’s easier than figuring out which one is actually on the show).
--Not that it matters one bit, but Maya Randolph is out on SNL, oh wait she’s back in, oh wait it doesn't matter. LeBron and Kanye in this week for the premiere.

--Your The Children Are Our Future, So We Must Crush ‘Em Now story of the week comes to us from a study by The Meth Project. Nearly 25% of teenagers said it would be “very or somewhat easy” to get a hold of meth. And what’s really promising is that one in three believe there is only a “slight or no risk” in trying it once or twice. And now the cherry on top of the meth sundae, one in four punk teenagers believe that there are BENEFITS to using meth. More good news that kids today are intelligent beings, 22% say not only does meth help you lose weight, but it also helps you deal with boredom. Of those kids who have used 77% say they first tried it at the age of 15 or younger.

--The Daily Show has diagnosed Rudy Giuliani with 9/11 Tourette’s. True that. In that same vein two of Rudy’s supporters are holding a fundraiser for him and requesting a donation of $9.11 a person.

--Jessica Biel as Wonder Woman in that Justice League movie?!

--There are loser fans and then there are Cubs fans. Paul and Teri Fields have waited 15 long years to have a baby and so what do they name this little boy blessing? Wrigley, yeah, Wrigley Fields. They were cool enough to acknowledge that if he gets teased he can go by his middle name, which is Alexander of Alexander’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day fame.

--Family Guy stopped being must-see TV for me a while back, but the Star Wars episode was must-see and it delivered except for the Obi Wan “I’ve Had The Time of My Life” waste of two minutes.
“What are we paying by the laser now?”

--Unfortunately I think Floyd will win, but gotta love Ricky Hatton combined with live television…

--Dancing With The Stars is back…yawn…I’ll take Kelly/Jennie Garth. Cuban gets the pleasure of playing with Kym.

--Stop the presses!!! The release date for Transformers 2 is…wait for it…no, really you’re gonna have to wait for it a long, long time. June 26th 2009 to be exact.

--One word: Oklahoma. The first line from the AP story sums it up nicely: “The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.”
So Doug Sauter is the coach and when he saw one horse break free from its reigns thereby spooking other horses Doug knew what to do, "That's how you stymie a horse. You bite as hard as you can, and it won't move."
Now you know…

--Old people like their Matlock, but in Mahopac, New York they looove their doughnuts. Some group donated doughnuts and desserts to the senior centers in the county, but the boss man in Mahopac isn’t letting his seniors have them because it sets a bad nutritional precedent seeing as how they have long lives in front of them that makes sense. So yeah, some of the seniors are striking, not that 80-year-old Rita Jorgensen cares, "It was disgusting the way people went after them. I think the senior center did them a favor by taking it away." Center for Science in the Public Interest guy Michael Jacobson has a solution, "Senior citizens can walk down to the store and buy doughnuts. Nobody's stopping them." Why not add, “They stormed the beaches at Normandy so why can’t they storm the shelves at the Qwik-E-Mart?” Let them eat cake…and doughnuts.

--Your dumbass of the week comes to us from, you’re never going to believe this, but Nashville. Arcarlos Barbour was pulled over Monday morning because he was tailgating another car on the road. Kinda weak, but dumbass was gonna go down for something eventually. So a police dog starts a sniffin’ and the driver admits he has some smoke and so he gives the cops a dime bag, but that meddlin’ dog kept a sniffin’. Whoops, Arcarlos musta forgot about the 72 pounds of weed he had smartly hid the last place anyone would look…the trunk.

--A couple of months ago The NY Post came out with a list of the 100 greatest cover songs ever. Shall we take a look? At 100 we find Bill Murray/Nick Winters’ version of Star Wars…

At 87 Johnny Cash’s “Hurt”, which shoulda been higher. U2’s version of “Helter Skelter” at 82. I’ve never heard Radiohead’s version of “Nobody Does It Better”, but it’s 64. Whitney’s cover of Dolly’s “I Will Always Love You” is 59. Another Dolly cover at 56 for The White Stripes’ “Jolene”. Sonic Youth’s “Superstar” (Karen Carpenter) would’ve been in my top 10, but checked in at 47. I don’t think of it as a cover, Jimi’s “Star Spangled Banner” is 34th. Jimi at 24 with Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower”. Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” apparently a cover and at 10. My # 1 is their # 8…

Good one at 7 with “Personal Jesus” from Johnny Cash. I’m all right with Alien Ant Farm’s “Smooth Criminal” at 6. At # 4 we find Sinead’s “Nothing Compares 2 U”. The Bangles with “Hazy Shade of Winter” at 3. At 2 we get Jonathan Coulton’s “Baby Got Back”. And the # 1 cover song of all-time according to The NY Post is…Dolly Parton’s “Stairway to Heaven”?!

Questions, comments or if you wanna wish Brianna Toro a happy 4th birthday…

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