Wednesday, May 16, 2007

We're gonna turn this motherf'n party out!

I Call Shenanigans

I’m still fuming about the b.s. suspensions the league handed down against Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw. C’mon NBA you’re not only screwing over the Suns and their fans, but you’re screwing over fans of the NBA at-large and that number isn’t going to be growing this postseason unless Phoenix pulls of a huge upset. Your letter-of-the-law ruling is crap. This is the postseason and they didn’t do anything wrong. Hell, they didn’t even walk onto the playing court. They were parallel to the bench and walking in Steve Nash’s direction. Robert Horry was on the other side of Steve and I don’t think they were ready to step over a fallen teammate to take a shot at Horry. And what a f’n cheapshot it was. Nice job NBA you rewarded the dirtiest and whiniest team in the league by punishing the most entertaining and most watchable. Great body check Horry you’re only 8 inches taller than Nash so way to pick on someone your own size. You think you know somebody. We had a couple of callers on Tuesday night say that they wouldn’t be upset if they get pulled over and received a ticket for going 56 in a 55 because the law is the law. First off you’re a more understanding man than I. Second off you’re a liar. Nice cover job by the NBA telling the Jazz/Warriors referees to take the heat off the league by giving Game 5 and the series to the Jazz. One terrible decision deserves many others. The NBA is the hardest league to ref and it’s also the worst officiated. I’ve seen more logical rulings handed down by Vince McMahon. Hell, Vince Russo making David Arquette the WCW Heavyweight Champ made more sense than this decision. Okay, maybe I’ve gone too far, but so did the league.

--In That’s So Gay news regarding That’s So Gay…A California judge correctly ruled against awarding monetary damages to Rebekah Rice and family for ridicule she faced in high school after using TSG (I think that’s the way the kids text it) in response to rude questions about her Mormon family history. When the teacher heard Rebekah, it was off to the principal’s office she go (underrated Young M.C. song). Rebekah also got the dreaded school note placed in her permanent record. The family sued the school for allegedly violating Rebekah’s First Amendment rights. De-nied. Back to the permanent record, I remember once in high school I was told by Principal Ben that he would take me to see my permanent record as long as I killed my father. Well, I really wanted to see my permanent record and get the answers I’ve been waiting for since I crash landed at that school, but kill my father? So I got this long-haired con man named Sawyer (same name dad used as an alias, small world) and he apparently had some grudge against my father so he strangled him. I took the body to the principal, beat up the Russian exchange student who wanted Principal Ben to take him somewhere, and off Principal Ben and I went to see the Permanent Record. After crossing what appeared to be a circle of black sand (deconstructed Smoke Monster? What the hell is a Smoke Monster?) we came to a small cabin and went inside. Principal Ben sat down and started reading from my Permanent Record except I didn’t see anything on the table that Principal Ben could be reading from. So I started calling him a phony and a liar and then as I was walking out of the door I heard someone, some thing say in a desperate, slightly-muffled voice, “read me.”….wait that was last week’s Lost, not my field trip with Principal Ben. Hell, there never was a Principal Ben or a Smoke Monster. Boring ass life I lead. Shoot me now. Sorry for all of you who don’t watch Lost and simply think I’m losing it. I am, one TV show at a time.

--You know how much trash gets tossed into containers designed specifically for recycling? Well, not shocking the Japanese baby box (yeah, drop it in and it’s no longer your responsibility) got more than just an infant the other day. Yeah, Japanese drop box do y’all take 3-year-olds? The country is outraged although police say the dad who dropped him off won’t be charged because he didn’t leave the child in any immediate harm, which sounds like the biggest loophole ever.

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