Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Got Arrested at the Mardi Gras for Jumping on a Float

Better Than Nothing

The Texans didn’t have a lot of money to throw around because of that Charley guy so it was nice to see they didn’t waste any on Ashley Lelie. That would have been a huge mistake. Also nice to see that as they’ve stated they wanted to get younger and did so by bringing in 30-year-old Ahman Green, so yeah, that makes sense. Anyway, Green was strong last year and only missed a couple of games. Hopefully Chris Taylor or in fantasy land Adrian Peterson can help shoulder the load because I’m thinking 90% running plays next year is the only chance this team has to win. Still nothing new on the quarterback front after all the craziness with Jake Plummer over the weekend. As someone who will never forgive the franchise for being so egotistical and just flat out stupid I’m really hoping they try and sell David Carr to the team and the city for one more year. How hilarious would that be?

--A new season of Arena League kicked off last weekend and the New York Dragons scored all of 7 points against Dallas to lose 60-7. I’m pretty sure you should get kicked out of the league is you only score 7 points. By the way, Rohan Davey is third string for NYC and threw its only TD.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I wasn’t too excited about the UFC PPV last weekend, but holy sh**, as always, it came through with that incredible Randy Couture domination of Tim Sylvia. Wow, 43 and still a bad, bad man. Seriously 25 minutes of total domination that no one saw coming. Yeah, because he’s Randy f’n Couture you gave him a shot, but I don’t know of anyone who gave him a shot to completely dominate over 25 minutes. The Matt Hughes and Rich Franklin bouts were okay. The other ones on the card were great.

--For 8 rounds Israel Vazquez and Rafael Marquez (Juan Manuel’s brother) gave us the fight of the year. Then Israel’s broken and battered nose forced him to stop, but apparently a rematch may be made in August and that would be a good thing and if it doesn’t get stopped prematurely will be the fight of the year. Thank you Allan Green for not giving us anything in your “fight” against Edison Miranda. Vic Darchinyan and Jorge Arce need to get in with each other sooner rather than later.

--Congratulations to the Chris Henry/PacMan Jones of the MTV reality world. Jason from Laguna Beach has been arrested three times in the past seven months.

--For some reason Forbes thought it could come up with a formula to rank the top general managers in pro sports. It came up with the formula, but it probably needs tweaking if Kevin McHale of the Timberwolves is # 1 and Scott Pioli of the Patriots is # 20. No Houston guys made the top 20 although if that Charley Casserly guy was still around I’m sure he’d be in the top five for all of the fantastic work he got done down here. Thanks again Charley. You aren’t the dumbass idiot most people or everyone says you are.
The first Houston GM to check in is Carroll Dawson at 95th one spot ahead of Matt Millen. Huh?!

--The best news I heard on Monday was that The White Stripes have finished up album # 6. I’m not sure where Jack finds the time, but I’m sure the album will be fan-freakin-tastic! It drops in June and apparently the title track, “Icky Thump”, is liked by both humans and skeletons alike. I’m not sure if that is Johnny from Karate Kid or La Parka – international playboy luchador.

--The worst news I heard on Monday was that Heroes won’t have a new episode until April 23rd.

--Hell hath no fury like David Feltmeyer scorned. The 33-year-old Richmonden? Richmondonian? Richmondite? guy from Virginia didn’t take his girlfriend’s break-up all that well. Unbeknownst to her during their relationship he taped them having sex. Out of the blue after the break-up she started getting calls from strangers asking for sexytime. Turns out David made a best of sexytime DVD featuring them and put it on car windshields for everyone to see (on YouTube yet?). Yeah, he’s in trouble.

--Speaking of “Little Boy Blue…..he needed the money” is Dice Undisputed worth the time? It can’t be nearly as horrific as Shooting Sizemore.

--A Dutch gym is going to introduce “Naked Sundays”?!

--24 picked it up some this week and thankfully there weren’t any moments showing Jack caressing his dead brother’s wife’s cheek so that’s nice. But Jack is in the freakin’ Russian embassy, takes the Russian consul hostage, clips off one of his fingers, gets his information, and then Jack thinks he can walk right out the door?!
Stay away from Jack, woman.
--A G.I. Joe flick with Mark Wahlberg as Duke?! Jet Li and Ken Watanbe as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and we got something. I’m thinking Gary Oldman as Cobra Commander. I want the guys who play Vorenus and Pullo on the Joe side. Timothy Olyphant as Zartan. Damn I could do this all day…

--Seriously rodeo, deep fried coca-cola?! If you hadn’t heard first you freeze the coke, then break it up into bits, then batter it up, deep fry it, and top it off with pure coke syrup.

--I finally got off my ass and got The Departed. Of course, it lived up to the hype. Jack Nicholson is so money and everyone knows it.
Yeah, these guys are pretty good actors.

--This week’s Mother of the Year candidate comes to us from Maryland. There 31-year-old Amara Eden had left her kids alone. The kids ranged in age from six months to six years and were apparently hungry and so attempted to make dinner for themselves. Yeah, they burned it and set the house on fire. That probably didn’t smell too good considering when firefighters got them out of the house they discovered, well, "The smell of urine, fecal matter everywhere, and then plus water and then plus old rotting food on the counters and in the refrigerator, kind of, I guess it all blended together." Listen moms and mothers-to-be your children’s fecal matter and urine belong in the toilets. I cannot stress this enough. Please do not adopt the “go where you wanna go” restroom philosophy for your children. It will only present them with awkward and possibly embarrassing moments when they enter school.

--Props to the NAACP Image Awards for handing out Best Actor in a TV Drama to Isaiah Washington who had that little habit of tossing slurs towards gay people. I’m sure Isaiah deserved the Image award much more than Cerrano/President Palmer/Dennis Haysbert from The Unit.

--Tricia Tanaka probably agrees with this...

--A HBO documentary on Barbaro?! Oh boy!

--I’m not sure how baseball does it, but when an MVP makes all of $900,000 the following year that’s crazy. Philly may regret not stepping up to the plate and taking better care of Mr. Howard.

--If you like lists and you like crimes then you’ll like Time’s list of the top 25 crimes of the last 100 years.

Questions, comments or if you’re loving Barbarians Week on The History Channel…

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