Friday, March 02, 2007

But Now I've Got To Pass The Mic To Yauch...


Are you f’n kidding me Rockets?!?! I mean losses to three Eastern Conference teams in your last four games?!?! Thank the good Lord you have a two-game break from those Eastern Conference bullies. The freakin’ Celtics!! Boston shot 34 f’n %. 34%!!! The C’s had more turnovers than assists!! Honestly I think a left handed Dikembe Mutombo can do better than your 1-22 effort from beyond the arc. Ridiculous. The Raptors just came in and beat your asses on Red Rowdy night. Great. The fans haven’t been there and you’ve played strong and then on a night you try to get the rowdiest, craziest fans in there you lay an egg and not one of those nice organic eggs, but one of those nasty ones with a chicken embryo that’s a little too far along in the process. Just ridiculous. Get it together because after Saturday you have three straight against the East and they don’t screw around, hell right now they’re counting you as Ws. How’s that taste?

--Until that embarrassment at the hands of Toronto the Rockets had held a lead in each game this season. The Suns had to until the Sixers beat them Wednesday. Now the only team to have held a lead in every game it’s played this season? The Spurs.

--There are bad officials and then there is Violet Palmer who deserves her own category. During the Celtics/Rockets game the other night Boston announcer and former NBA veteran Cedric Maxwell didn’t like Ms. Palmer’s officiating. So he busted out a “go back to the kitchen” blast and added, "Go in there and make me some bacon and eggs, would you?" Very nice, although he’ll be apologizing on the air in 3, 2, 1, now.

--He went 0-fer against the Rockets, but Gerald Green scored 10 of his 21 points in the 4th to help Boston beat New York.

--Comcast in Chicago tried something new for the Bulls game it broadcast Wednesday. If you hit the SAP button you got to hear the producer and director call the shots for the broadcast.

--Seriously I don’t even feel comfortable with shooting around on a court after watching Shaun Livingston’s disgusting dislocated knee injury.

--Congratulations to the Knicks who went 6-5 in February for their first winning month after 13 straight losing ones. The Blazers have the longest losing month streak at 15.

--Tyson Chandler has 17 straight double-digit rebounding games. That a big reason the Hornets have outrebounded their opponents in their last 13 games in a row, which is the longest such streak in three seasons.

--Tell me Ron Artest is writing an advice column for Dime magazine and tell me this exchange didn’t take place.
“Ron, I’m thinking about popping the question to my girl. How should I do it? – CalvinFirst you gotta have sex one last time, you know, and tell her you love her. You should probably take her out to a simple dinner, nothing too crazy. Keep it simple, because a lady is looking for the little things. If she wants to be with you forever, she’ll like that.”

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Big Pussy is, well, a big pu*** and dropped out of Dancing with the Stars.

--There isn’t really a bad ass junior linebacker in Florida with the name Yourhighness Morgan, is there?

--To put the rumors to rest Jake Tsakalidis is not, not, Sloth from the Goonies and he doesn’t scream “hey you guys” when he wants the ball. Let’s stay with the Goonies theme and throw some Chunk and Jack Bauer together…

--The highly anticipated “Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam” comes out this week and it has a laundry list of celebrity names and accompanying stories. Whether they’re true or not, they’re hilarious and that’s all that matters. For example Sports by Brooks had this on what Tommy Lasorda likes to do with his dodger dog. Allegedly Tommy boy was on the phone with the madam or madam assistant or order taker or whatever and Tommy picked out a girl. When asked what he wanted Tommy responded, “I’d like to have some porn for me to watch while she sucks my (expletive). I’m into watching two gals together in a movie. Can she have that there?" There’s much, much more where that came from including Tommy playing some five on one while the girl on girl porno was on and the prostitute gives a report on Tommy that’s interesting/disturbing. I know I’ll never look at the Baseball Bunch in the same way.
What exactly are you trying to do there buddy?

--Honestly, if you didn’t watch Heroes from the beginning this is one DVD set you must own. This first season rivals and probably surpasses the first season of Lost.

--Peyton Manning is going to host SNL?!

--Ghost Rider must be doing well as for some reason Nicolas Cage just bought a second home in Sin City. Seriously how many homes in Vegas do you need?

--More of Desmond and less of everything else and we’ll be okay Lost. Because when I look more forward to Friday Night Lights than Lost you’ve got to pick it up!
Donald Faison is a lucky, lucky man.

--Posh Spice reality series on NBC = worthless.

--Apparently the new Krispy Kreme wheat donuts are good.

--ABC is developing a Cavemen sitcom?! Took long enough.

--Boise State’s Jared Zabransky is the NCAA ’08 cover boy?!

--There’s stupid and then there’s the U.S. Postal Service…Apparently the clocks in 37,000 post offices have been taken down because as a spokesman put it, "We want people to focus on postal service and not the clock."

--Drudge Report headline of the week: Hotels with no condoms get fined in China.

--If you saw Eric Byrnes on ESPN or Fox last year in the playoffs you know he has a future in broadcasting. So how does Eric Byrnes go about choosing from the pool of entertainment agents that were all over him in the offseason? Well, he saw Kelly Ripa give a shout to her agent and, "I love Regis and Kelly. So I figured if he was good enough for Kelly, he was good enough for me."
Kelly? Is that you?

Questions, comments, or if you got a new job this week and it’s in an actual office and you wonder which character you’ll be and if some guy will dub you “Tuna”….

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