Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill

Fun While It Lasted

This month the Rockets could just about do no wrong. Every single player contributed to wins and the team was more than just treading water without Yao. Then games against the Mavericks and Suns came and predictably those were losses, but losses that made you appreciate the heart and tenacity the Rockets had played with every night. That went out the window Saturday when the Nuggets visited and now Houston is staring at a three-game losing streak with San Antonio up next. After that the rest of January has the Blazers, Sixers and Sonics visiting so that better be a sweep. Right now January has brought 6 wins and 4 losses. When February 1st rolls around that January record better be at least 9-5. Now go get it done like you know you can.
Is that you 12-year-old Skip?

--Tell me they aren’t seriously considering a movie featuring The Lebrons.

And Then There Were Two

Watching the Colts and Patriots will never get old. Just incredible stuff. I was hoping it would come down to a 52-yard Adam Vinatieri field goal attempt, but that was about the only thing missing. What a grab by Jabar Gaffney and what a b.s. personal foul on Tully Banta-Cain for allegedly smacking Peyton upside the head on that last drive and before that a b.s. no call on Nick Harper who was all over Reche Caldwell in the end zone, not that Reche would have caught it anyway. How about an offensive lineman on each side with a TD? Crazy, crazy, crazy. Colts favored by a TD over the Bears. Tough call.

--A note up in a Minneapolis paper says that if the team can’t get Jeff Garcia that David Carr might be had for a third round pick. Really?! I’d change “might be” to oh, hell yes!

--Using the cumulative 2006 records of teams the Texans have the 14th toughest schedule next season. Buffalo and Oakland face the toughest schedule. Good luck with that Raiders. Arizona has the easiest.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--So last week I put that little bit about The Big Bopper and Big Bopper Jr. with son exhuming father to perform an autopsy. It’s in last Friday’s QHRT if you need a recap. So I’m telling that story on the air during Sports Saturday then we go to break and I go try to find “Chantilly Lace” on YouTube. When I come back Rob is deftly handling the show while I look at the call screen and Big Bopper Jr. is on hold. Apparently our listener called Jr., who was in Chicago, and told him we were talking about him and his father. So we talked to Big Bopper Jr. for 7 minutes or so and found out he didn’t exactly order his dad to be exhumed, but the cemetery is moving the gravesite so while he’s getting dug up they want to go ahead and do an autopsy since one was never done. Also that gun belonging to Buddy Holly was fired by the farmer who found it and that’s a little weird. Junior also said that they recreate the winter tour every year in honor of The Big Bopper, Buddy Holly and Lou Diam…Richie Valens. To wrap this all up we have Fran Fraschilla, who was a part of the crew broadcasting Texas Tech’s upset of Kansas, moments before Junior joined us saying that the Jayhawks “looked like Buddy Holly in an ice storm.” Well, what do you expect from a guy named Fran?

--The Bill James Handbook contains this factoid…Three of the four National Leaguers with the shortest average HRs were Houston Astros (Craig Biggio 358, Jason Lane 372 and Morgan Ensberg 376). No surprise there. Another one…Vladimir Guerrero swung at the most first pitches, swinging 50.2% of the time while Jamey Carroll swung at just 8.8% of first offerings.

--I do not need to see the President’s sister on 24 anymore. What a freakin’ whiner. Wayne Palmer is not pulling off the President at all. Shoulda just gone with David Palmer’s long-lost twin and brought back Serrano. By the way, Bauer is going to be on The Simpsons this season as part of CTU (counter-truancy unit).
One of these guys can act, unfortunately it's the dead one.

--Isaiah Washington fired his publicist?! But he’s so well-liked and respected right now…

--Carrie Underwood is also in spin control after Tony Romo Tony Romo’d that snap in Seattle. She says they aren’t dating and never were.

--So Tara Reid was trying to hit on Matt Leinart? I guess if you hear a guy has already thrown down with Britney and Paris why shouldn’t Tara try to complete Matt’s tramp trifecta?

--Robinson Cano is giving up his # 22 for # 24 just in case Roger rejoins the Yankees.

--Bam Bam Bigelow has left us.

--When did Mena Suvari start dressing like an extra from Stomp The Yard? I guess about the same time she started taking her top off at the beach. Thanks?

--A while back we found out that Joey Fatone will be in the next edition of Dancing with the Stars. TMZ also says that Billy Ray Cyrus, Laila Ali and Ian Ziering are all in as well. I hope Laila doesn’t count as the token athlete. Why hasn't Giada from Food Network be on this yet?

--Pamela Anderson takes her PETA stuff very seriously. The fine people at KFC are asking for a stamp for Colonel Sanders and Pam wrote the Postmaster General a polite note: “Honoring a man whose legacy involves breaking animals’ bones and scalding animals to death in defeathering tanks is contrary to the values of most compassionate citizens, and I hope that you’ll deny KFC’s request. How about another Elvis stamp instead?” How about one for Jack Bauer or Claire from Heroes or Jason Street from Friday Night Lights or Adama from Battlestar or Cleopatra from Rome or Maggie from Extras?

--SNL with something, dare I say, amusing...

--What comes on more often on basic cable on a regular, let's say, Wednesday: Seinfeld or Scrubs?

--The nominations for The Razzies are out. Worst Screen Couple includes: Nicholas Cage and his bear suit in The Wicker Man, the Duffs in who cares and also Sharon Stone’s lopsided breasts in Basic Instinct 2. Worst Supporting Actress should probably go to Kristen Chenowith just for volume with roles in Deck the Halls, RV, and The Pink Panther. I feel confident in M. Night Shymalan as Worst Supporting Actor in Lady in the Water. Worst Actor is a very difficult category and a five-way tie could be the way to go with Nicholas Cage (Wicker Man), Shawn and Marlon Wayans (Little Man), Dan Whitney (Larry the Cable Guy), Rob Schneider (Benchwarmers and Little Man), but if one truly earned this it’s Tim Allen who was in Zoom, Santa Clause 3, and Shaggy Dog. How is “Worst Actor” not named for him? Stick to voice work Timmy. Worst Picture comes down to Bloodrayne, Little Man, Wicker Man and the two favorites Basic Instinct 2 and Lady in the Water.

--Teeth is supposed to be a good movie showing at Sundance now. A one-line premise from teethmovie.com: “Christian high school girl, Dawn, experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentate myth.” Ouch.

--In case you were worried about Paula Abdul after seeing her make a fool of herself the past couple of weeks: "I'm the only female. I'm the empathetic one. I'm the artist. I'm the pinata. I've never been drunk in my life. I don't do recreational drugs. I've been in this business 20 years (and) never had to weather the storm of publicity, controversy. It's this show. ... I love it, but it's often daunting."

--Josh Hartnett and Sienna Miller?! Scarlett to Sienna, not a bad fall for a bad actor.

--Eva Longoria in the March issue of Arena = wow!

--AOL listed the top 15 most embarrassing stage antics…At 15 we find the time U2 was on its Popmart tour and the big ass mirror lemon that drops them to the stage forgot to actually open. At 11 was when Jessica Simpson forgot the words to “9 to 5.” At 10 the time when Alice Cooper’s huge python that was wrapped around his neck went # 2 all over Cooper’s costume at The House of Blues in Los Angeles. Number 9 involves Extras favorite David Bowie who was 20 minutes into a concert in Oslo a couple of years ago when a lollipop stick was tossed and stuck in his left eyelid.
At 6 at a concert in Spain we find Diddy stage diving into fans who parted like the Red Sea leaving Diddy to the floor. Cyndi Lauper at 4 when a couple of years ago she was performing outside in Massachusetts and leaned her head back to hit a high note leaving her mouth fully exposed for a bird to poop in. I remember # 3 when back in 1992 Nirvana was at the MTV awards and Krist Novoselic tossed his guitar up in the air and it came down directly on his head leading to a hilarious drunk walk. Number 2 we find both Milli Vanilli and Ashlee Simpson for obvious reasons.
The most embarrassing rock n roll stage antic according to AOL occurred at a Black Eyed Peas concert in San Diago when people starting noticing a significant wet spot in the crotchal region of Fergie who had had a few drinks and explained, "We were jumping around . . . it was all very rock 'n' roll. And my bladder just started . . . you know."
Apparently they're now engaged.

--You know things are going good in Daytona Beach when a proposal is made to build a village for your homeless consisting of a 5,600 bed community.

--DrudgeReport headline of the week:
Masturbation Set to Music on Broadway Rubs Some the Wrong Way.

--It doesn’t get much better than waking up to new Jessica Biel bikini pictures every day.

--So Sacha Baron Cohen is good enough to win the Golden Globe for Best Actor, but can’t even get a nomination for an Oscar?! Props to Kelly Leek/Jackie Earle Haley for getting a Best Supporting Actor nod.

--Are you in rehab if you’re never physically in rehab? I’m talking to you Lindsay.

--Tell me I just did not read that Marcel from Top Chef was at a Las Vegas club when someone broke a bottle over his head sending him for stitches at the hospital.

Questions, comments or if you smacked Marcel from Top Chef upside the head with a bottle at a Las Vegas club...

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