Tuesday, January 16, 2007

His name was MCA, I said "Howdy", he said "Hi"

Bring It

How much fun has it been watching the little team that could run off this stretch of wins? I’m sitting there with two other guys watching a playoff football game in its final seconds and we’re all thinking the same thing, ‘I wish the Rockets were playing tonight.’ I wish the Rockets would’ve gone straight from Sacramento to Dallas and called out those punk Mavericks right there on Sunday morning. It’s been just amazing and so ridiculously entertaining. Whether it’s Luther Head throwing down like Bobby Flay or Tracy McGrady doing his best Tracy McGrady impression or Rafer Alston making consecutive shots or Shane Battier taking a charge that leaves him bloodied or Dikembe Mutombo finger wagging more than Stephen Colbert or Juwan Howard knocking down mid-range jumpers. How can you not love this team?
So Luther has at least two dunks in his life.

--Apparently Gilbert Arenas went T.O. and threw himself a birthday party that cost over a million dollars.

Final Four

What a great set of games over the weekend with the top AFC seeds tumbling to the old guard. I’ve never been a big Ravens fan and I figured Peyton was due for a big game. Yeah, Peyton and company are in the AFC Championship Game after he’s thrown 1 whole touchdown and 5 interceptions. The last four regular seasons he’s never topped 10 interceptions. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Marty Schottenheimer is Marty Schottenheimer. Marty’s postseason loss streak now stands at 6. Patriots and Colts = outstanding. The Saints won and maybe even more miraculous Reggie Bush is still alive after getting lit up early. I wish every time I see him run I wouldn’t think of how stupid the Texans are. Can’t wait to see the rightful Houston RB in the f’n Super Bowl. You’re welcome Nawlunz. 18-yard punts in overtime are a good way to lose and that’s why Chicago is moving on. How funny is it that since his “we want the ball and we’re going to score” proclamation in Green Bay a few years ago that Matt Hasselbeck doesn’t get to go out for the overtime coin toss?

--Tom Brady had 51 pass attempts. 26 other times in postseason history a QB had 50 or more attempts in regulation and all 26 times that QB’s team lost.

--Giselle Bundchen is interested in Brady?! Who bounces back with a hotter female Brady or Timberlake?

--Jabar Gaffney in the regular season = 11 catches. Jabar Gaffney in the postseason thus far = 18. Billy Miller hasn’t had a four reception game in I don’t know how long, but 4 catches for 64 yards against the Eagles. Good to see being a Texan doesn’t taint you for life. Hell, Dom Capers is set to be the highest paid assistant coach in the league.

--Shot of the weekend came courtesy of the blonde Saints fan whose shirt read “Fu** Da Eagles”. Yeah the shirt didn’t have asterisks and someone at Fox doesn’t have a job.


--I haven’t seen either, but I know The Departed should have beaten out Babel for Best Picture- Drama and how funny was it hearing the Governator pronounce Babel two different ways?

--I haven’t seen Dreamgirls, but I know Little Miss Sunshine or Borat or Thank You for Smoking should have won Best Picture- Comedy or Musical.

--I know they got it right for Best Actors with Forrest Whitaker and Sacha Baron Cohen.

--I’m thinking Ugly Betty over The Office or Weeds is wrong. Weeds, Heroes, and Lost were all shut out and that’s not right.

--Because I got time like that I saw some E’s red carpet show and of all people to cut off mid-interview because Seacrest got a hold of Brad and Angelina it had to be Jeremy Piven and his mom. I expect a not so subtle dig by Ari on E or Seacrest next season. Note to Angelina: lighten up.

--Ali Larter looked hot as hell. Cameron Diaz and her jet black hair, not so much, hell not at all.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Congratulations if you had Bauer going Lost Boys for his first official kill this season in the 24 death pool. More impressive than that escape and saving the good bad guy was Jack giving himself a nice, even haircut, not that I expected anything less. By the way, apparently Lost Boys 2 is in the works and will be headed straight to DVD.

--Extras is one hilarious show, well except this week when Ricky Gervais sold out. That was depressing. Orlando Bloom was pretty strong with all his Johnny Depp is crap talk.

--Now to combine the above two shows…Stephen Merchant, Ricky’s writing partner in crime for The Office, plays the agent in Extras. Stephen is a huge 24 fan and had an extremely brief moment on the camera in the first two hours. He was a CTU guy who was handed a no doubt extremely important piece of paper. Ricky did a scene as well that may be a 24 DVD extra. According to his site, “In the scene, a group of White House brass meet to discuss an impending terrorist threat. Gervais, dressed like a presidential advisor, keeps whispering under his breath to give the mission to Jack Bauer - and then acts incredulous when someone else says it aloud and takes credit for the idea.”

--Rounding out the best night of television this year I’ll let emailer Jimy sum up Rome…"rome is everything sopranos was. murderous italians making powermoves w/ hot ass naked women."
Hated to see her go.

--I love Sportsbook.com…Sportsbook.com odds on the number of times Bush will say these words during his 2007 State of the Union address on January 23, 2007.
Evil Over/Under 2.5 (-120)Terrorist/Terrorism/Terror Over/Under 19.5 (-120)Al Qaeda Over/under 3.5 (-120)Freedom Over/Under 15.5 (-120)Democracy Over/Under 2.5 (-120)God Over/Under 2.5 (-120)

--Becks and Posh are aligning themselves with TomKat? Very smart move.

--How good does Frank Miller’s 300 look?! Gerard Butler adds King Leonidas to his other roles such as Dracula, Beowulf, Phantom of Phantom of the Opera, and Attila the Hun. If you’re unfamiliar with the story think Alamo with Spartans instead of Texans and Persians instead of Mexicans. It was the best Decisive Battles episode on History Channel though I don’t think that airs any longer. Anyway, what could Frank Miller do with The Alamo?

--Whitney Houston and Ray-J?!

--If you are getting a divorce or are getting married and eventually will get divorced do not, I repeat do not use Michael Strahan’s lawyers. T.O.’s ex-publicist can give you 15.3 million reasons why.

--Jenna Jameson thinks Scarlett Johansson should play her in a biopic?! Who am I to disagree?

--A Keeley Hazell sex tape?! She’s fantastic, but that gives sex tapes a bad name. If you need to see “spectacular” then Battlestar’s Tricia Helfer’s spread in Playboy does the job quite well.
Not much longer 'til Battlestar returns.

--It took a helluva lot longer than I expected, but Quite Frankly, or Frankly Speaking as David Barron calls it, has been cancelled. Unfortunately I think that means we’ll see more of him everywhere else on the ESPN family.

--Your depressing “I got a Wii for my kids, but lost my life in the process” story comes to us from Sacramento. A 28-year-old mother entered a radio contest where you had to “Hold Your Wee for a Wee.” The contestants were given these water bottles they had to down every 15 minutes and then of course, had to hold it with the last person standing winning. She won, but died soon thereafter due to something scary called water intoxication.

--I don’t use sportsline.com for anything, but scoreboards because it employs idiots like whoever ranked the females at the SEC schools and put Florida in 11th. I mean Tim Tebow’s girlfriend alone gets the Gators into the top five, the fact that Erin Andrews once went there puts it into the top three, and UF’s collection of pics on facebook make it # 1.

Questions, comments or if you think Chloe is looking hotter and hotter…

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