Monday, October 23, 2006

Educated? No ... Stupid? Yes

Who Are You?

The Texans fan base has been eroding steadily since the plunge early on last season. I’m not saying beating the Jaguars is going to be the turnaround that catapults this club into 8-win territory. There are still problems up and down the lineup. But I think this win is just as big for the fans as it is for those players. It was the second straight win at home and it was damn near dominant. Yeah, the Jaguars are hurt and yeah, they were dumb for not playing David Garrard, but a 27-7 win is a 27-7 win. I hope every fan got to see Gary Kubiak address his players in the locker room afterwards. It was on Inside the Game and it gave an inside glimpse of the atmosphere in that place. Kubiak gave a great speech talking about the look he saw in David Carr and how Carr wanted it on his shoulders. Even if for just a moment it made you believe David truly is the guy. The only game ball he presented was to Eric Moulds for being one of just 23 players to ever have 700 or more catches. Kubiak thanked him for coming down here and Moulds stood up and spoke about how he knew after two games against this franchise in the past that eventually it was going to go places and he wanted to be a part of it. He also talked about how much the coaching staff believed in every single one of the players in that locker room. My b.s. detector is always on, but the words being spoken in that locker room came straight from the heart. Very good stuff, the kind of stuff that makes you want to think the Texans are on the right track and yeah, there are going to be a lot of obstacles along the way, but life is pretty boring without obstacles. Good for those guys and good for the fans. Now if we can just petition the NFL to always wear Battle Red and just go ahead and eliminate the 3rd quarter then we might be looking at a 7-win season. (It feels weird to be in a positive state of mind on a Monday after a Texans game.)

--In 3rd quarters it’s… Opponents 48 Texans 0 .

--It’s crystal clear after 9 games Houston owns Jacksonville. Yeah, it’s only up 5-4, but that counts as ownership in my book. The only other bigger margin of victory than the 20 point difference was when the Texans beat the Jags by 21 two years ago.

--Houston has won the time of possession twice this season and those were both the wins.

--It was the first game the Texans outrushed somebody since last year when they outrushed the Cardinals, which shouldn’t really count.

--I’m not dogging him because he has been playing better, but have you ever seen 2.5 weaker sacks than the 2.5 Mario has? has DeMeco Ryans listed with one fewer total tackle than Brian Urlacher and three more than Ray Lewis. Good company.

--Ladies and gentlemen your NFL leader in receiving yardage and in receptions…Mr. Andre Johnson. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Are we sure he went to Miami?

--Don't know if you caught the story last week on SportsCenter on Earl Campbell, but it wasn't pretty. Most of us are aware of the pain this man endures every single day after giving Austin and Houston everything he had. This one from Austin...

--Jacksonville safety Deon Grant had six tackles and an interception nullified by a penalty in the first half, but was benched for the second half?! And Leftwich wasn’t benched because?

--All three of Philadelphia’s losses have come on the last play of the game. None worse than watching Matt Bryant blast a 62-yarder through the uprights on Sunday. The Eagles offense outgained the Bucs 506-196.

--The dumbest decision I have ever seen in a college football game was when the Longhorns threw, basically, a jump ball up for Limas Sweed on third down at the 5-yard line with under a minute left. Dumb, dumb, dumb. What a game, though. Colt is a bad man.

--The Raiders won on Sunday so no NFL team is going 0-16. In college your winless teams are 0-8 Stanford, 0-7 Florida International (split decision loss to Miami hurt), 0-8 Temple and 0-7 Duke.

--Are the Chargers the West Coast Bengals or are the Bengals the Midwest Chargers?

--Joey Harrington throws the ball 62 times (more than Marino ever did in a regular season game) and Chris Chambers had just two catches?!

--Everything is right in the world and Peyton and Donovan are 1-2 in passer rating. Not that that stat means squat. I mean Mark Brunell is ahead of Tom Brady.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--No column on Friday because I’ll be learning about the rich history of Las Vegas by drinking my ass off and making futures bets on every Texans/Jaguars game from now ‘til 2010. Any suggestions on where I absolutely must go (and can find stumbling drunk) on my first Vegas trip ever?

--Scarlett Johansson in Allure…wow.
Not from Allure, but not bad.

--If you haven’t been watching it, you’re not going to start now, but Heroes is the best new show I’ve seen this season.

--The other day during mine and Rob’s award-winning Sports Saturday the traffic guy read a public service announcement with a little true or false action.
True or False: If you lock your keys in your car you should call 9-1-1?
False and then he went on with an explanation, which probably wasn’t needed.
Anyway people in Omaha are now being encouraged to dial 9-1-1 to report any infractions just like they would normally report a crime they observe being committed. Oh, the crime that officials want reported? Smoking in public. The new ban is nearly three weeks old and bans smoking in nearly all public places.

--If you click on one clip of a marathon runner “crossing” the finish line this week, make it this one.

--“The NY Post spotted... Joyce DeWitt, Moby and Cal Ripken sitting at ringside during Joan Rivers' gig at the Cutting Room.”
Joyce DeWitt?! Joan Rivers has “gigs”?!

--Hurricane Borat has left a slew of victims…

First 4 minutes of the movie.

--I don’t know why this actually took a study to figure out, but according to a study by the Liberty Mutual Research Institute teenaged drivers say the biggest distraction they have while driving is text messaging. LMAO.

--I don't know what movie this is from nor do I care. I just know that this is the best YouTube video any red-blooded male will click on this week...

--Someday we’ll get to the point where parents won’t be able to watch their kids participate in sports until the collegiate level, but until then…At Castro Valley High in San Francisco parents have been whining about the girls basketball coach for a while now. Coach Nancy Nibarger has a solid résumé, but a group of parents led by an attorney and a Superior Court Judge don’t like the way the coach runs things. She did such crazy things as cut practice early because the team wasn’t practicing well. She also no-showed on picture day just like every other Castro Valley coach. Bottom line, the coach ain’t going anywhere so now you have things like this…The coach and her assistants won’t choose the team alone. They’ll be helped by a six-person panel made up of parents and members of the community. There will also be an “ombudsman” present at every single practice to keep tabs on things.

--More fun with high school girls…(wait that didn’t sound right)…Three Denver area Air Academy high school cheerleaders stopped by Douglass Valley Elementary School on their way to the football game. These pony-tailed pom-pomers thought it would be just hilarious if they covered up the “Dougl” in the sign leaving it to read, “ass Valley Elementary School.” Good one. So funny that Air Force Academy (Douglass Valley on its grounds) base officials forgot to laugh. But they did remember to handcuff the cheerleaders in front of their classmates and parents. Who’s funny now?

--No real reason, except it's Stephen Colbert and he influences how Oprah speaks...

--State Department official Alberto Hernandez might as well have gone to the “I’m an alcoholic” card rather than take back the words you know he believes in, "Upon reading the transcript of my appearance on Al-Jazeera, I realized that I seriously misspoke by using the phrase 'there has been arrogance and stupidity' by the U.S. in Iraq. This represents neither my views nor those of the State Department. I apologize."

--If Joe Theismann and Tim McCarver are on the TV screen and you only have five bullets left in your gun who gets the 5th bullet?

Questions, comments or if you’re a stone cold gentleman…

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