I burn the competition like a flame thrower. My rhymes age like wine as I get older.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--If you’re in the mood for an upbeat, positive, happy, cheerful look at the joys of marriage then I highly recommend not watching Blue Valentine. If you’re in the mood for a great movie with skillful acting and nice direction that grittily depicts the ups and downs of a relationship and marriage then I highly recommend watching Blue Valentine. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams were both really, really good in this sometimes depressing, but always interesting movie that isn’t exactly a public service announcement for marriage.

I gotta find me a "Future Room."

--Liking the promos for Jon Benjamin Has a Van that starts on Comedy Central next week. You may know Benjamin’s voice from Home Movies, Archer, and Bob’s Burgers. Next Tuesday and Wednesday at 9:30.

Jon Benjamin Has a Van

--Clearly the highlight of the week is the announcement of a Rocky The Musical. The game plan is for it to open in Germany next year before heading to Broadway.
The Measure of a Man>>>>>Defying Gravity.


--AMC developing a reality show about Kevin Smith’s comic book shop? Why must you go the reality route AMC? I thought we had a good thing going. I mean I’m over the Rubicon cancelling and I don’t blame you for The Killing, but you’ve got to work at this relationship too at some point.

--Writing of AMC, if Walking Dead has a board game then it was only a matter of time before it got action or non-action figures. McFarlane Toys is making them of course.

--If you play Russian roulette with a dog then I hope you lose every time. Russell Little of South Bend was apparently having himself a depressing time and drinking moonshine before starting the game with the dog. Fortunately the dog survived two clicks. Then Russell decided to join in and the game ended shortly thereafter.

--Like I think just about everyone I’m absolutely ecstatic that Golden State hired Mark Jackson away from my television. How he was considered lead color analyst much less head coaching material is beyond me. Are we sure Golden State hired the right Jerry West?

--Leo du Pres/Josh Duhamel and Dr. Maria Santos Grey/Eva La Rue going back to All My Children?!
In Salem, John and Marlena are coming back this summer. Everything is almost right in the world.

--If you really, REALLY love Community then AV Club has you set up with as in-depth a set of interviews as you’re going to find. Every single episode is looked at with Community creator Dan Harmon. Really like his look at the “Basic Rocket Science” episode which had moments of awesomeness, but just didn’t resonate with me. And I agree it came too early in the season.
I had no idea Starburns was a writer on the show and he and Harmon co-wrote the stop-motion Christmas episode in which Abed got off what I think was my second favorite line of the season.
Abed - “It's the first season of Lost on DVD.”
Pierce - “That's the meaning of Christmas?”
Abed - “No, it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.”

My favorite line was when Troy labeled Britta the “AT&T of people.”
I liked reading about how much work went into the outstanding "Dungeons and Dragons" episode and how against it the studio was.

--HBO GO is obviously the app of the year and I don’t think I’ve taken the time to properly pimp Epitafios. It was on HBO about 6 or 7 years ago. Revenge, mystery, thriller en Español that executes twists and turns like I hoped The Killing would. Seriously, give it a shot while there’s not crap on this summer. They came out with a second season a couple of years ago, but I’ve yet to watch it. As soon as I zip through some more Six Feet Under I’ll remedy that though. Epitafios’ first season es oro.

--I think Top Chef Masters is pretty close to wrapping up which means Top Chef something or other is about to start up. I haven’t watched Masters and wasn’t a big fan of Curtis Stone for various reasons including he wasn’t Padma. But I found a new reason. Apparently he sells his own mortar and pestle and he sells it as “Bump & Grind.” Seriously.

--You’d think you’d done enough damage to your kid once you name him Rain. Rain Price. Now Lane Pryce would’ve been acceptable and also foreshadowed daddy problems. Anyway, Rain’s problem is/was that as he started his sophomore year of high school his bus route changed so the bus passed directly in front of his house. His father took that opportunity to dress in a different costume and wave to Rain and everyone on the bus as it drove past every. single. day. 170 days with 170 different costumes including what must have been Rain’s proudest day when his father wore a wedding dress. Awesome. The dad says it’s his way of showing he cares. Rain refuses to thank his dad with this classic quote I imagine every parent aspires to hear from their child, “I’m not going to reward him for this; his reward is seeing my embarrassment.”

--Obviously there are some differences between Game of Thrones book form and TV form. The one difference I wish there wasn’t is that in the book there’s a lot more direwolf action. For example the zombie scene on the show Ghost gets locked out of the real action. In the book Ghost attacks the zombie, but starts getting strangled before Jon can help free the direwolf. Of course Ghost goes back for more and literally starts ripping the guts out of the zombie before Jon sets it afire. In either form, helluva scene.


--The best news I can tell my brother @seanyebest all week is that Real Housewives of New Jersey has been renewed for a fourth season.

--Fairly remarkable that over the last couple of weeks my Treme interest is #1 – anything food-related. #2 – Sonny.

--The biggest mistake I made this week was looking at the Kathy Ireland bikini pic on WWTDD. That just can’t be her.

Underrated collegiate field goal kicker.

--Victor Ortiz and Floyd Mayweather. Interesting except even though he’s not getting any younger I believe that Floyd doesn’t make fights in which there’s a possibility he will lose. He won’t lose this one and then he’ll run smack about Pacquiao and how he has nothing left to prove to anyone and then we’ll wait. Yay.

--Interesting stuff regarding 10 physical gestures that have been patented. Not surprisingly Apple likes themselves some patents. I really like the 7th one listed here. Intellectual Ventures owns a patent that involves shaking your phone to reboot it. That can’t be too far off, right?

--Our Florida Story of the Week comes to us from St. Petersburg. ‘Twas there that 38-year-old Davis Randolph got into an argument with his ex-girlfriend. 25-year-old Terrance Johnson is a friend of the ex and tried to play peacemaker. Yeah, a fight broke out. Randolph pinned Johnson on the ground and then decided it was time for a snack break. Unfortunately for Johnson one of his ears was the snack. Randolph bit it off and, as he later told police, swallowed it “in the heat of battle.” Seeing as how it was Florida that probably wasn’t the craziest call police responded to that night.

--Funcationality thy name is iOpener. iPhone case/bottle opener with an accompanying app that’ll keep track of what you drink and where.

--Finally you don’t have to stand in front of a grill or smoker for hours to get that barbecue smell. Now Pork Barrel BBQ offers Que cologne for just $25. That is if you can put a price on smelling like Famous Dave.

--Combining the two previous quick hitters is a free BBQ app from Texas Monthly that has you covered for the Top 50 Barbecue Joints in Texas.

--Michael J. Fox turned 50 on Thursday. In a related story, I’m old. Very, very old.

--Vacated sports titles are funny.

--I’d watch Human Centipede 2 except I didn’t see the first one and feel like I’d be lost in the sequel.

Questions, comments or if your Friday is looking like Super 8 and Samba Grille...