Rock my Adidas never rock Fila. I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Maybe I’ll post an entire blog you’re not interested in reading about the cancellation of All My Children, but in the meantime let me say screw you ABC. AMC is a freakin’ television institution and to take it and, to a much lesser extent, One Life To Live off the air for talk shows titled The Chew and The Revolution. I mean, WTF?!

One of American's greatest actors - Mr. David Canary.

--You have no heart if you didn’t tear up a bit at some point during Parks and Recreation this week. And for Andy to wear the Reggie Wayne jersey that April got him, oh geez, choking up again. I’m not crying…it’s just been raining…on my face. Ron being Ron about Chris’ vegetable loaf - “Not only does that thing exist, but now you have deprived everyone of cake.” As sweet and syrupy as everything was the episode could only have gone downhill after watching Ron pull a tooth in the open. Swanson’d.

And it really isn’t fair that in real life Chris Pratt is married to Anna Faris and in his television life he’s married to Aubrey Plaza. How the hell is one man that lucky?

--The Office with Will Ferrell started strong, but got old pretty quickly to me. Oh well, we’ll always have the proposal episode. Obviously Jim and Pam haven’t had a lot of great moments since getting married, but tonight was the first time they were really working my last nerve.

--Solid guest stars this week on Modern Family and Community. When Jonathan Banks showed up as Jay’s brother my first reaction was fear because Jonathan isn’t exactly Mr. Snuggles as Mike on Breaking Bad. Very strong Modern Family this week especially when Claire was trying to act nonchalant when questioning Phil about who was calling and what exactly they were saying. Mitchell on Cam’s play - “See he focused it, by making it about the world.” Community brought it with Stephen Tobolowsky and the return of Kevin Corrigan. Both of those guys kill it in whatever role they get. It’s amazing that a little over three months ago Tobolowsky underwent open-heart surgery. His tale of that and the tie-in with Community from the man himself is here. I could have just watched 30 minutes of Abed teaching the class about why Angela is the boss. Or just 30 minutes of Troy in Fiddler Please. What I’m saying is that this week should have been an hour long and ditched Pierce.

--The Paul Reiser Show was just awful and it's not like anyone had high expectations. Him, his friends, his wife, Larry David, nothing worked. Perfect Couples wasn’t going to change the world, but it was a much more pleasant buffer between Community and Office.

--Even on weeks designated to catch our collective breath Justified still kicks ass. Dickie vs. Mags and Dickie vs. Boyd. Raylan vs. Art. Raylan vs. whoever is currently shooting at him. Out of all the wonderful meetings of the minds this week my favorite was Raylan vs. Art. We always prop up, well pretty much everyone in this show for their acting and Nick Searcy deserves some applause for the way he plays Art Mullen. This season there’s been some meat on his bone and he’s chewed up every scene in the coolest, most country philosophical way possible. I don’t think the talk went the way Raylan was hoping, but I think it went the way he knew was inevitable. Mullen ripped into him good and his little “the problem will solve itself” was a nice closer.

--Gotta remember to set the DVR for MLB Network on Sunday night beginning at 6. MLB is running through the 20 Greatest Games over the last 50 years and that forever punch in the junk Game 6 from ’86 is going to be featured. Darryl Strawberry, Jesse Orosco and Bob Knepper will be in studio to reflect on it. David Barron had this quote from Strawberry which says everything we already knew, “I knew if we had to go to Game 7, there was no way we were going to beat Scott. He had already got in our heads so bad, we were so frustrated with that fact that we were going to have to face him again and that challenge. We just knew we weren’t capable of beating Scott.”


--Is there anything more annoying in commercial rotation right now than the Old Navy singing spots? Brutal.

--Peeps Dioramas. What’s not to love? Check out the winners from The Washington Post here. And of course, Inpeeption.

--A list of “10 Straight to DVD Sequels You Probably Didn’t Know Existed.” I like looking at who was in some of these, like Jake Busey in Road House 2. He was awesome in Starship Troopers by the way. Danny Pudi in Road Trip: Beer Pong. The annoying French Stewart in Home Alone: Taking Back the House. Peter Facinelli and Christian Slater and yet still Hollow Man 2 wasn’t on my radar. And why would Reese Witherspoon “present” Legally Blondes? How did I not see Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning when it had both Sherilyn Fenn and Trishelle Cannatella?

If Greendale Community College offers a course on Two Moon Junction I want in.

--Natalie Portman's Sexiest Scenes? Sure, why not?

--Seen one season, seen them all is pretty much Burn Notice. I don’t mean that as an insult because I’ve seen them all. It’s just I probably won’t see many more. I will carve out a couple of hours sometime to watch Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe. It premieres Sunday night on USA.

--Always like seeing the top jersey sellers. No surprise that LeBron tops the list considering he changed teams in the offseason. Maybe you caught that news. I would not have guessed Rajon Rondo at 3 and absolutely wouldn’t have guessed Shaq had enough fans to put him at 11. Five Celtics in the top 15. I know they’re the Clippers, but Blake Griffin couldn’t get in the top 6 or 7? Blake was 11.
NFL-wise I would have selected Aaron Rodgers, Mike Vick and Tim Tebow to be the top jersey sellers over the past year. They’re all in the top six, but Troy Polamalu outsold them all to finish first. Next was Aaron, then Brees and Peyton before Tebow shows up a spot ahead of Vick at 6. Yay for Rodgers only having to be the Super Bowl MVP to out-sell Favre’s jersey for the first time in his career. Favre still ranked 14th.

--William Shatner space-inspired cover album. Yeah, that sounds about right. Some of the tracks on "Searching for Major Tom": "She Blinded With Me Science." I think we can just about stop right there. Of course he’s bound by law to reprise “Roc. ket. Man.”


--I can’t remember the last time I’ve had Taco Bell, but I sure as hell will try a Nacho Cheese Dorito Taco Shell.

--The unintentional comedy factor hit all-time highs when Sugar Ray Leonard was on The Contender. It had probably had more to do with the awful editing than his terrible delivery. Anyway, I saw this week’s dance he had on Dancing With The Stars. It wasn’t technically sound, but it was fun and it was not deserving of getting kicked off. The fat vote must really be coming through for Kirstie because it’s hard to fall one week, lose a shoe the next and still be on the show. Apparently this season’s rumored romance is Hines Ward and Kym Johnson.

--I watch Parenthood sporadically, but every time I do I think I’m watching a pretty good show. And that chick who Dax Shepard is trying to impress needs to get over it already. There’s not a man alive who wouldn’t cheat on his significant other if Minka Kelly came into the picture, well except for me because I’m newly married, could not be happier and would never do anything, not even with Minka Kelly to jeopardize that. Never. Ever.

Maybe.

--Wait, People named Jennifer Lopez its Most Beautiful Woman in the World?! Even by People’s standards that’s just baffling. At least we can count on Lopez for a humble quote, “The thing is, it's part of my job. I don't want anybody thinking it's easy. It does take time and it's hard work.” So everyone reading this STFU about your “hard work” because you don’t know what hard work is until you have to be beautiful 24/7.

--Jennifer Lawrence did some outstanding work in Winter’s Bone. Her work on the Oscars red carpet was revelatory. She continues to build her résumé with this from GQ.

--I’ve long ago resigned myself to the fact that the NBA is going to have a work stoppage next season, but dammit canceling the Summer League is going too far. Those games are fun as hell to watch and it’s always nice to completely blow out of proportion what you project so and so will do come the regular season.

--When I turned 18 my mom gave me a dollar for each year I managed to survive the hard streets of Sagemont/Scarsdale…the Hell’s Kitchen of Pasadena if you will (yes, tongue planted firmly in cheek). Anyway, that was a nice $161 birthday gift that I probably blew on shoes and CDs. Arthur Schumacher gave his wife a nice wedding anniversary gift of $1 for every single day they’ve been married. They’ve been married 49 years. Yeah, a nice anniversary gift totaling $17,885. I was going to do this for my wife, but now that it’s been done it kind of loses all its appeal. Sorry dear. I’ll think of something else unique. Maybe a penny for every day. No? Okay, I’ll keep thinking.

--You never want your actions to be described as pulling a Richard Pryor because, ya know, fire can hurt you. --Maybe what’s been holding the Texans back all this time was that traditional last preseason game versus Tampa Bay. Maybe.

--Nice write-up from Bon Appetit about Houston’s outstanding multicultural dining scene. I almost went a week without a tofu banh mi from Les Givrals for lunch. True story.

Questions, concerns or if you’re worried you might not be the native Houstonian you thought you were since you shrugged your shoulders and went “so?” after finding out Houston wasn’t getting a shuttle…