I've got science for any occasion. Postulating theorems formulating equations.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Holy crap did Tom Haverford get off some blasts on Parks and Rec this week.
Tom – “Zerts are what i call desserts, tre-tres are entrees... I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fry-fry chicky-chick, chicken parm is chicky-chicky parm-parm. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankets.”
So good that Eater posted all the future eggs, veggie bacon goodness clips.
I could watch April and Ron shop all day.
Chris – “Have you ever tried a turkey burger?
Ron – “Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes, delicious.”

--“Yeah, okay. Well this is gonna hurt like a motherf******.”
Truer words Michael Scott. Truer words. I’ve probably watched that song seven times now and it gets me every time.
Why is Will Farrell in these episodes again?
Ryan – “I love when people say ‘like crack’ who’ve obviously never done crack.”

--Community delivered in a major, major way this week and proved just how genius it can be when it’s clicking on all cylinders. Greatest clip show ever without using any clips we’ve ever seen. I think I read 78 scenes were shot for this episode and that beautiful, hilarious chaos showed on the screen. I really want, nay, need a full-length episode satire of Glee. Singalingalingalingdingdong!!!!
Jeff’s speech montage was classic.

--I should have known the San Antonio broadcast would be the ultimate in homer announcing. Getting the Spurs feed on NBA TV the other night proved that. Go Grizz Go.

--I watched some of Norm Macdonald's Sports Show this week and thought this was clearly the highlight.

Sports Show with Norm Macdonald
Tags: Sports Show,Norm Macdonald,#SportsShow

--I can’t believe it’s been nearly 20 years since Juice came out, but there is zero, zilch, nada, no reason why it needs to be remade. And having Soulja Boy play Tupac’s "Bishop" role is just beyond comprehension.

--This is a far more interesting pregnancy story than anything Teen Mom has ever put out.
A fake pregnancy during your senior year of high school all in the name of social experimentation? Wow.

--Battlestar Galactica on BBC America? Frack yeah. DVR’d.

So say we all.

--i09.com with a list of 19 Must Watch Summer TV Shows. Breaking Bad is not included so this is the early frontrunner for worst list of the year.

--Interviews with or about Luke Scott are never dull.

--Bob’s Burgers is much more hit than miss and worth series DVR’ing and ripping through on a rainy day.

--This week’s Party Down movie rumor comes courtesy of The Huffington Post. Please let this happen. I’m in no major hurry. I just want it to happen eventually and of course it ain’t no party unless you invite the Gutt.


--Sonic Youth/Nirvana 1991 tour documentary? Yeah, I’m down with that.

--Great time capsule read from Chronicle food writer Alison Cook that appeared in Texas Monthly waaaaaay back in 1983.

--Once the NBC Thursday comedies go to reruns this summer and before we get all those back plus Sunny and The League in the fall we’ll have Louie starting Thursday June 23rd. Can’t wait. Louie was the best part of Talking Funny on HBO which also featured Ricky Gervais, Chris Rock and some guy named Jerry Seinfeld. They pull the curtain back on their acts and it's a pretty interesting discussion if not always hilarious.

--After careful review of Karina Smirnoff’s Playboy pictures I’ve come to the conclusion Brad Penny is a very lucky man. Your move Cheryl Burke.

--Masi Oka from Heroes to star and executive produce a time travel show on Syfy? Sounds about right. Remember that time Heroes was good? That was fun.

--I’m an unabashed pretzel-holic. I’m the guy clearing the shelves at Revival Market of Slow Dough’s pretzel dinner rolls. So this 2 pound pretzel-rific monstrosity from the Cedar Rapids Kernels looks fantastic, but I’m gonna need another bottle of spicy brown mustard.


--This season of Modern Family hasn’t been particularly noteworthy, but this week’s can sit down at the table with any of last season’s episodes. Anytime the different parts of the branches of the family tree cross it’s usually money. Gloria, Cam and Mitchell killed all their scenes together from “hairrings” to “Lilyana.” The Dunphys were the Dunphys.
Phil – “Where did everyone go? Oh. I’m fine. Just a blink.”
And tell me next time you see a can of paint getting the shake treatment you aren’t going to try to shake your head to see if Luke is right.
Cam’s injury gave Mitchell all he needed to get off this beauty – “In terms of talking about it, are we looking at weeks? Months?”

--I don’t think things are going to end well for Dickie. Jeremy Davies owns that role

--Essentially a Where Are They Now? from Film Drunk on Dave Chappelle.

--RIP Tim Hetherington and Chris Hondros.

Questions, concerns or if you're mixing holidays by watching Sleigh Bells on Easter night...