Saturday, November 17, 2012

Parlay romancing into the financing. Opened up a restaurant with Ted Danson.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--“You just got Jamm’d.” Terrific Parks and Recreation as April showed interest and showing interest for her in anything is remarkable growth. Showing interest in anything other than Andy that is and Andy was on fire. I only hope knowing when people are lying to him doesn’t come up a lot in his police work.
And Jamm was Jamm, “You don’t even have to be Asian to do math that simple.”
Truthiest statement of Thursday night came from Ron of course, “Breakfast food serves many purposes.”

--This week's sign that I'm an old, old man.  Baylor just signed Andy Pettitte's son, Josh.

--Yes, Jax clearly you do not have the proof you need from eyewitnesses to put down Clay. You definitely need some papers from Clay’s safe because that will prove Clay is an evil liar instead of just a liar like everyone else. SMDH.
Otto sure is a complex man. I thought he was going to off himself with the crucifix not murder a prison doctor. Guess I was wrong. Guess Dr. Tara might be in a little trouble.
Bobby sure is logical. That’ll get you nowhere.

--Nothing brings a season of Dexter to a screeching halt like a Dexter love interest and/or a combination of Quinn, Batista and LaGuerta.

--In all fairness to Guy Fieri how could he expect the NY Times to review his Times Square abomination. I thought everyone was in on the joke he was playing on tourists. Apparently the NY Times isn’t a fan. Why, I don’t know because nachos augmented with fried lasagna noodles and “thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey” sound delicious. When your “donkey sauce” is supposed to taste good you’re setting yourself up for Fierilure.
And of course there’s this sign...

--The first warning sign for Royce White was when I had to unfollow him a few weeks ago.

--I rolled my eyes when I first saw that Diddy was going to be on Sunny, but he absolutely crushed it as Dr. Jinx. I mean c’mon, New Kids on the Block?! How am I supposed to not have a laughter-induced heart attack?

“Dr. Jinx is the name of a monkey, not a man.”
I’d have to think (and no one wants to think), but this would rank pretty high for me in terms of Sunny seasons.
And I’m all for the Hurricane Sandy relief spots, but just not using the same actors from the show that’s currently airing. Put League actor Sandy spots while Sunny was running and vice versa.

--Who gets married on a Tuesday night after your betrothed gets out of jail for domestic violence charges? Hope Solo and Jerramy Stevens. That’s who. They have been dating for two months so it’s legit.

--Interesting Jamaal Charles stat from PFF Focus. On 38 plays he’s been contacted behind the line of scrimmage. On plays he is contacted at or beyond the line of scrimmage he’s averaging 6.7 yards a carry. By the way, on those 38 plays he’s been contacted behind the line of scrimmage he’s at -44 total yards. 39 plays Adrian Peterson has been contacted behind the line of scrimmage and he still has rushed for 57 yards on those plays. Amazing.

--Boyz II Menorah. Awesome. Good stuff from Happy Endings.
Max – “All right you sons of Abraham. Get your hands up!!!”

--Consistency is huge. That’s why I think the Steelers will be fine with Byron Leftwich starting. Byron has been with three different teams over his last six starts and each time that start ended in a loss. That’s consistency. Wait, I meant the Steelers won’t be fine.

--I would’ve lost a lot of money if I was asked to bet on which state had a town that hosted a Possum Drop on New Year’s Eve. No offense Kentucky, Tennessee, and Florida, but you were easy guesses. ‘Tis Brasstown, North Carolina. No drop of a possum this year because PETA and the courts have put a stop to the 20-year tradition of a possum being caged and lowered down. There goes Brasstown’s tourism.

--Now I may disagree with PETA on a lot of things and its name isn’t mentioned in this article, but surgically removing the vocal chords out of dogs because they bark is just f’n wrong.

--March 31, 2013 – Game of Thrones returns. Adjust your lives accordingly.

--Senior citizen. Tanning salon owner. Intentional drug overdose. Suicide note that read, “Do not revive. F*** Obama.” Oh Florida.

--Damaine (no idea how to pronounce that) Mitchell is my Hero of the Week for his Quote of the Week. It seems the 19-year-old he was in some trouble for selling pot. The judge was going to be cool and let him go with some probation and making himself available for drug tests for several months. Damaine said that was going to be hard because frankly he likes smoking marijuana. That led to Damiaine saying, “I know this is probably not the right question to ask, but can I get a little time, at least get one more joint in?” For some reason the judge said no.

--Every time I’ve ever seen the Jersey Shore crew I’ve always been bothered by the fact that Vinnie didn’t have his own talk show. Thankfully MTV felt the same way.

--Parenthood is on a roll like Homeland is on a roll. Parenthood is so good that it’s amazing to me that NBC has given it this many seasons.

--I’m in trouble?! All I did was plant a gun in the backpack of my boyfriend’s teenage son because he doesn’t like me, and I’m the one who’s in trouble? Oh well, yeah, I guess that does sound like it might be against the law or something. I have no idea what you’re talking about though with that phone call to the school tipping it off that the son was walking around with a gun in his backpack. You have me on video from the convenience store I made the call, huh? Okay, might, MIGHT, have been me. Can I go now?

--This whole Eddie Murphy in the Twins sequel Triplets isn’t a joke?!

--White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles?  No thanks.

--Things I need to see on my television – 22 tons of rat poison vs. 180 million rats. The rats have apparently taken over the Galapagos Islands so Ecuador has some special harmful to rats only poison it’s going to drop on them. Apparently the poison also ensures the rat corpses wither away like dust in the wind. Probably not good to be in the Galapagos winds for a while.

Questions, comments or if you're starting to really, really hate Aaron Hernandez…

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